[INFP] What are the most meaningful compliments people have given you?

What are the most meaningful compliments people have given you?

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This is a discussion on What are the most meaningful compliments people have given you? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; and why were they meaningful? Also: Is it more meaningful to you when people compliment who you are vs. what ...

  1. #1

    What are the most meaningful compliments people have given you?

    and why were they meaningful?

    Also:
    Is it more meaningful to you when people compliment who you are vs. what you do?

    Is there a difference in value when they pay the compliment directly to you, or when they tell someone else and it gets back to you?

    -----

    OR do you flat out hate compliments, believe that the idea of complimenting anyone is insincere, and/or wish to banish me and my post to an Extroverted Feeling forum?? (Because that last option would be fuuuunnn!)
    justjay, Blue Flower and storkovaveronika thanked this post.



  2. #2

    "I am so impressed by your skills. I hope you continue your education and career path in this field. You will be an asset to the field."

    I have been told many things that made me feel very good but this note I got from my instructor last term beats out most of it. I am constantly wracked by self-doubt and poor self-efficacy that feedback like this is keeping me from giving up and accepting my "destiny" as a minimum-wage fry cook or something. Claiming I am an asset also makes it less about me in my head, and more about who I would be hurting by not completing my degree: the people I will help in the future.

    Is it more meaningful to you when people compliment who you are vs. what you do?
    Perhaps I'll be in the minority but I'd say more meaningful when they compliment what I do. I was smothered by compliments on the former growing up. Blame my mom, I guess. I don't get many compliments on the latter because historically I suck at accomplishing things. So when I do get complimented on it.. you get the picture.

    Is there a difference in value when they pay the compliment directly to you, or when they tell someone else and it gets back to you?
    Marginally, because of the self-doubt/trust issues and my own inability to be honest with people, it's easier for me to convince myself they're just being polite in the former situation.
    Last edited by Syvelocin; 05-16-2018 at 12:57 PM.

  3. #3

    What are the most meaningful compliments?

    "You are so warm, like a little thermal."
    "You are witty."
    "You have a sense of humor."
    --compliments from my entj ex.

    and why were they meaningful?
    Make me realize that being warm, caring and possessing empathy is good traits for this IQ dominating world.

    They are meaningful to me cuz no one says that before - I'm in a very competence-required environment and usually I got praised by what I've done.

    Sent from my F3111 using Tapatalk
    ButIHaveNoFear thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFP

    Hate compliments. It slows my roll. I have to stop what I'm doing, turn around and listen, register the compliment, decide how to react and then react. I know some people love external validation. (((Tell me I'm good!!! I can't figure it out for myself!!!) Honestly... I can't stand it. Just a preference and need of mine. I apologize, ahead of time, if that rubs the wrong way, on some.

    Some secretaries said I was the nicest. I think someone said something to me at PerCafe once and I replied "Wow you just made my day" -- can't remember what they said tho. Father thinks I write well, but his major in college was engineering, so really, he might not have an idea of proper English. Um.. a psychic once told me I'm really good at psychological warfare and I would make a.... really good investigator. AH YES!!! I just remembered one from college!!! A professor stopped me outside and told me I "see things that others do not".

    Thanks here at PerCafe, are cool, if I don't have to turn around and see the person. See 3rd quote in signature. It's sarcastic. :-)
    UberY0shi and ButIHaveNoFear thanked this post.

  5. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by Syvelocin View Post
    Perhaps I'll be in the minority but I'd say more meaningful when they compliment what I do. I was smothered by compliments on the former growing up. Blame my mom, I guess.
    I'm the same way!! With the mom and everything!

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by ButIHaveNoFear
    What are the most meaningful compliments people have given you? And why were they meaningful?
    Uhh....UHHHH....

    I don't know if it's the difficulty in remembering a compliment that really touched me and stayed in memory, or if I just don't remember a category of "the best" compliments very well at all. They're all appreciated. There's also the thing of remembering a nice little feeling when I don't expect it, or like a inner smug happiness like "oh you noticed" whenever someone comments on something I've been actively working on.

    Met an ENFJ coworker for first time after hours along with some other coworker friends and we had some drinks and foodstuffs and whatnot, got to talking and things got deep really fast. Something like "I've never met someone so intelligent or deep like you, like nobody knows or ever talks about this kind of stuff" ...and then he recalled meeting someone kinda similar to me, some Ukrainian guy. UKRAINIAN! Yeah, it's true, I was more fascinated with the idea of being compared to a Ukrainian guy than the compliment itself.

    But also, the way he SAID IT. ENFJ superpower. Immediately made me think of the whole INFP/ENFJ wombo combo thingy thingthing. Makes sense how the types complement each other. We actually disagreed on a ton of things, but in subtle ways it seemed. Maybe it was how we went back and forth while ISFJ/INTJ just sat and listened LOL. Fun stuff.

    Is it more meaningful to you when people compliment who you are vs. what you do?
    EZPZ. What I do. Especially if I somehow do it really well and it's something I've invested tons of effort into, it's nice to get compliments then. It's like "YOU NOTICEEEEEED MEEE!" Those are the best.

    Someone telling someone else about me and it gets back to me... that like never happens LOL. At least the whole getting back to me part. That would be cool as fuark.

    There are times when people give me compliments on things I know I suck at. And it feels like either they are giving me a sincere compliment, even though I suck, which means they could suck at whatever even worse than me (that sounds bad but meh, my brain is a ding-dong), or it means that they are giving me an compliment, oblivious to what really would be considered worth a compliment or some kind of unweighted compliment like "wut, I opened a door by turning the doorknob? I mean, sure I guess that impressive?" kind of situation. But it doesn't happen that often so I usually enjoy them anyway.
    ButIHaveNoFear thanked this post.

  7. #7

    I'm usually very generous giving compliments, but don't really react when someone else gives me one. But I think I weigh its genuineness with the person's character. There are people, even if they are generous with their compliments, who are true to their words.

    I was just telling a friend yesterday that I used to be extremely shy, and the reason I could break out of that was due to a person's compliment. I think I needed some sort of assurance that I was a decent human being. This man told me I didn't need to be shy, because I was a pleasant person to be around. It was a very casual compliment, but it was very convincing. Maybe I wanted to be convinced. But either way, it worked.

  8. #8

    Stylish
    Pretty
    Smart

    lol.
    They're meaningful because I did not expect them from the people who said them. I did not realize for example, I even appeared stylish at all though I like fashion.
    I normally do not receive compliments. People tend to say things about me and then other people see it (and believe, I guess--and it snowballs). That is how I usually get a compliment.

    These were also overheard (eavesdropped) than said to me directly, which makes them more special to me.
    The 'pretty' one was a surprise. I got that one in a sneaky way.
    psyche and ButIHaveNoFear thanked this post.

  9. #9

    What are the most meaningful compliments people have given you?

    Similar to others, it depends on the person giving the compliment . I can't say that these are the most meaningful but i cant seem to forget these :

    "i keep your letters" -- coming from someone i know who is very neat and not sentimental (an intj). So if he keeps my letters, it means a lot to me.

    "You're a natural storyteller" - I couldn't recall anyone tell me this but this person and I've always wanted to inspire others by my stories, so this meant a lot to me


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    ButIHaveNoFear, ewdenore and Blue Flower thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFP - The Idealists

    Sitting around the campfire one of my friends told me that my gift is that I am complementary, meaning that I have the ability and inclination to participate in a group situation in a way that fits, that fills some gap, that makes somebody else feel included. I think it's a way to use Ne for something positive.

    A person I worked with once wrote something similar in my performance evaluation.
    psyche, Lovely Agony, Im FiNe and 2 others thanked this post.


     
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