[INFP] I am becoming an adult, and it terrifies me. Advice? - Page 2

I am becoming an adult, and it terrifies me. Advice?

Hello Guest! Sign up to join the discussion below...
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 1 2
Results 11 to 18 of 18
Thank Tree30Thanks

This is a discussion on I am becoming an adult, and it terrifies me. Advice? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; To be an adult in society is a role, always remember that. Learn the role and perform well but never ...

  1. #11

    To be an adult in society is a role, always remember that. Learn the role and perform well but never forget who you are, where you came from, and where you are going. These 3 inquiries are the responsibility of human being aspiring to be mature.

    A mature human can be an adult, but an adult can not always be a mature human for the simple reason that society failed to cater for the specific needs of that individual in its development. Maturity begins when the individual takes responsibility of its own needs and conduct.

    It is great you have identified and laid out all your problems, although now it is matter of finding what you can do about them. Try not dwell in the emotion of the problem because what that does is consume your energy without a result. Instead, identify the problem, observe the emotion but not associate with it. The emotional baggage of problem will eventually subside and that point just let your mind calmly explore solutions until your gut will tell you which options are best.

    Center yourself and reside in that power. Approach each problem one by one; you have plenty of time.
    ninjahitsawall, KasKas19 and Moo Rice thanked this post.

  2. #12

    Driving is very easy but driving while there are so many distracted city slickers on the other is hard just anyone online who drives for a living ie a truck driver ect and they will probably scare you. Anyway just take it one day at a time and try not to over stress about every detail. As for picking a car go for one that is of a good brand that is known for not having too many issues like a Japanese brand.

    Conforming to society is suicide and not worth it at all especially in the US.

  3. #13

    Face whatever fear you have, in the smallest doses possible. Look at people successful at what you want/need to tackle and break it down. Notice you're still alive and for the most part okay. Face the fear again, up the dosage as small as possible. Rinse and repeat. Schedule facing your fears on your own time and convenience.

    Unless you need to get on a rollercoaster or something. Some times you just gotta go all the way and ride the waves.
    Bad Bunny, KasKas19 and L P thanked this post.

  4. #14

    In all seriousness though from what you're saying it really sounds like counselling could do you a whole lot of good. As a therapist would explain it, in a situation like yours you've gotten yourself locked up in a bunch of 'cognitive distortions' that affect the way you view yourself and how you feel in any given situation. It basically means you've mangled up your perception of yourself and through something called Cognitive Behaviour Therapy a therapist can untangle it and help you see things in a new light, and see things for how they really are rather than the catastrophised view you've worked yourself into, and it does wonders for your happiness. I had an intro session with a therapist for very very similar reasons to you (I'd be in therapy now if I had the $$$) and I left it feeling so relieved, like I'd finally found the solution I was looking for (or would do once I had the $$$). I'd really really recommend it, at least go for an intro session with a good therapist and see what you think.
    I would love therapy, but I simply don't have the time or money for it. I'll try reading articles again or something.

    Since you already have a boyfriend, if the two of you end up in a long term relationship, maybe he'd be okay with that kind of arrangement? What you need is someone who's happy to take care of you, and if your boyfriend is like that then you're good to go. That is only if you don't develop independency, learning to rely on yourself a healthy amount is still something that's good to have for your own good. But if not then it's not the end of the world, there are people with full-blown dependency disorder that thrive.)
    My boyfriend cought on to the little "dependancy" thing that I have. It irritates him and it's not something he wants at all, which I'm definitely okay with. I'm independant to a certain degree, but I still feel like I need some guidance. We have had arguments about these things and it always ends with me having "daddy issues" he calls it. I never knew I had "daddy issues", since girls who are labled with that are looked down upon because of the way they are. I'm really self conscious about it, and I try not to talk about it to him anymore. He ends up bringing it up when he sees me acting a certain way, to remind me that it's "...because of your dad that you're acting like this." (It's a lot to explain, I guess it makes sense.) He's an INTP so he can be a bit too straight forward sometimes- Which I think is helping me with my sensitivity issues.

    Are you familiar with HSP/the Highly Sensitive Person? If not look it up, I'd say you probably are one. There's a fair bit of info out about it and it explains a huge number of things about you.
    I have not heard about that! I definitley will look it up! :)

    As for everything else, thank you for answering and providing not only potential solutions, but personal insight as well. In a n odd way, it makes me feel better knowing that I'm not the only one that feels this way. :)
    Pizzafari thanked this post.

  5. #15

    Quote Originally Posted by KasKas19 View Post
    I would love therapy, but I simply don't have the time or money for it. I'll try reading articles again or something.
    Apparently you can actually give yourself cognitive behaviour therapy, though I think it'd be harder without a therapist helping you through it, but if you're unable to get one it's an option. It's definitely worth looking into, from what I've heard it works miracles. The therapist I saw gave me some documents and stuff that apparently give a guide on how to do it but I haven't actually looked at them yet...
    KasKas19 thanked this post.

  6. #16

    I hate adulthood sometimes... T_T

  7. #17

    Don't compare yourself with your sense of what adulthood should be. It comes with experience and every individual gains it at their own time and pace. Yours might have been going at slower pace but do not give up. One day at a time.
    ninjahitsawall thanked this post.

  8. #18

    Hey there! A lot of people have already given stellar advice, so I aim to contribute to that!

    You are at the cusp of adolescence and young adulthood at the moment, and the transition from one life phase to another is extremely stressful, uncertain and difficult. In this regard, I think many of your worries are completely justified and normal for your age: how will you start driving? How will you find a car? How will you find a job? How will you start college? These are very reasonable concerns, and you will find a way to answer each of them when the time comes. Don't lose faith, it's only a matter of time before your transition into adulthood will heal a lot of the insecurities you have now.

    One thing that it seems like you're doing is that you're trying to change yourself in many ways all at once, but what you really need to do is try to tackle things one at a time, for now, anyway. Time itself will do a lot to change you for the better without you even being aware of it. So, for now, focus on the here now. Study hard for those SATs, and try to breathe and relax as much as you can when you feel anxiety stressing you out. You have a wonderful GPA, and you should certainly get into a nice college with that. But, even if you don't get the kind of SAT scores that you want, just remember that it's definitely not the end of the world. Everyone put so much pressure on the SATs like it's a make-or-break for your ability to succeed in life, but it's really not. Worat case scenario, you'll definitely be able to go to a community college and frankly, I was actually glad that that's what I did. They're usually cheaper for your 2-year degree, and you realize that you'll have saved thousands of dollars when you finally get the transfer over to your 4-year university to complete your bachelor's degree. And about college itself, you'll acclimate to the environment very quickly! Usually for big universities, Dale have maps and signs pointing you in the right direction, so it's just about going to and fro a couple of times, and you won't even think about it after a while (same with driving a car, actually). Once you get over the initial fear and nervousness of doing something big, it's like second nature after that, and it's even enjoyable!

    And as far as friends go, it's perfectly reasonable not to want drunks and drug addicts at your school for friends! Shoot, if the only option for friends I had at school where a bunch of losers like that, I'd choose to be friendless, too. You're much better than that! But believe me, when you get into college, you'll find much more mature people with whom you can trust, and you'll genuinely want to be friends with them when you meet them.

    Don't worry about prom, either. Like others are saying, it's really no big deal. The same, stupid idiots that will be grinding their genitals all over each other at your prom were at my 2006 prom, too, and I actually found it more memorable that I spent the better half of the night with my friend in the car finding out that I was driving 20 miles the wrong way down the highway to get there. And when we finally did get there an hour and a half late, we saw just how lame it was (too crowded to move, too loud to talk, my feet hurting in heels, and the smell of vomit on the tile floor). Deciding that we hadn't missed anything, she and I had decided to go bowling instead! Honestly, no matter what you're doing, it's all about making a memorable night for yourself. My suggestion is go out and do something more fun for the occasion, like go see a movie, paint a picture, or heck, even go bowling, and it will be a night that you'll always remember regardless! I'm sure that if you decide not to go to prom, you won't be missing out anyway. ;)

    Anyway, I need to cut this short(er) for now, but I hope that I could give you some helpful advice from my perspective!


     
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 1 2

Similar Threads

  1. [INFJ] I fell for an enfp guy without realizing it, then I forgot it.
    By CautiousWriter in forum INFJ Forum - The Protectors
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 08-13-2018, 05:09 PM
  2. Again and again and again... It never stops does it? Lolzies.
    By Neotron in forum What's my personality type?
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 07-09-2018, 02:09 PM
  3. [ISFP] Isfp's what terrifies you the most
    By SOMALI PIRATE in forum ISFP Forum - The Artists
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 04-18-2014, 03:40 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:01 AM.
Information provided on the site is meant to complement and not replace any advice or information from a health professional.
© 2014 PersonalityCafe
 

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0