[INFP] "Proving" Authenticity To An INFP - Page 9

"Proving" Authenticity To An INFP

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This is a discussion on "Proving" Authenticity To An INFP within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by Electrona Good luck with your short story, hopefully she will love it She's reading it right this ...

  1. #81
    ENFP

    Quote Originally Posted by Electrona View Post
    Good luck with your short story, hopefully she will love it
    She's reading it right this moment. She'll like it.

    She also sent me a picture of why she hated my shirt and yes...She's right. It somehow fits me terribly and I didn't notice it until she sent me a picture from our date. She wasn't being mean, she was being helpful.

    She's being gushy again to tonight which is good. Told me to wear the shirt around the other ladies so they wouldn't see what a gem I am :)
    Electra, neutralchaotic, Blue Flower and 1 others thanked this post.

  2. #82
    Unknown

    Being so low on neuroticism... no wonder she thinks your inauthentic! Do you even feels bruh?

  3. #83

    Quote Originally Posted by Moby85 View Post
    Ok, so I've hit a roadblock with the INFP I mentioned on another thread here, that I'm dating. She has brought up in every phone conversation and text conversation the past week that "you be you" and "you don't need to act a certain way around me, I will still like you." or like last night "I'm still questioning if you're being inauthentic in your charm."

    The problem is I am just being me, 100%! I am an extroverted and confident ENFP with very low (1%) neuroticism scores according to the Big 5 test. But I am getting frustrated with this girl being unable to trust me that I am myself around her. There are two problems here:

    1.) As an ENFP I similarly value authenticity and are therefore frustrated when being accused/implied that I am being inauthentic when I am just being myself.

    2.) I can't *do* anything to prove authenticity. At least I don't think, because doing something would then create a paradox of actually being inauthentic to try to put her heart at ease, right?

    If this keeps up its going to be a serious issue so I'm just wondering if you INFPs can see a 'third way' that I can somehow convince this girl I'm just being Matt.
    The INFP tends to question everything and doubting people comes along with it. Things you say, do, and feel will all be doubted at some point or another. Normally this shouldn't be a problem, they should just keep it in their head and understand that not everything has to be doubted, or expressed aloud.

    I'd suggest not even trying to "prove" it, since there are so many ways of deluding ourselves and others of our "authenticity". You have your values and you live according to them? THAT is true authenticity. If you do that she shouldn't be saying you're not. No one can call you out on shite like that when you know it's not true.

    Also the good long "look". The "bich srsly" look. With "don't question me again". Seriously I'm starting to get offended on your part, loll.


  4. #84
    ENFP

    Quote Originally Posted by reptilian View Post
    Being so low on neuroticism... no wonder she thinks your inauthentic! Do you even feels bruh?
    I do feel, and so did she - tonight we went official in the midst of making out.

    Suddenly she was movie style INFP: "I can't hold the feelings back anymore, I can't hold back how crazy I am about you, I'm sorry I seemed so hot and cold." That's actually word for word.

    I think not falling into crazy neurotic love with her helped my case. She was extremely sensual which I didn't know was an INFP thing. In the midst of the heaviest moments she said "If you think this is good, I'm going to kill you." quote.

    EDIT: In the midst of stuff she also said she's "never felt this way before" in her life, including her ex (husband) which I simply can't believe.
    reptilian and L P thanked this post.

  5. #85
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by Moby85 View Post
    I do feel, and so did she - tonight we went official in the midst of making out.

    Suddenly she was movie style INFP: "I can't hold the feelings back anymore, I can't hold back how crazy I am about you, I'm sorry I seemed so hot and cold." That's actually word for word.

    I think not falling into crazy neurotic love with her helped my case. She was extremely sensual which I didn't know was an INFP thing. In the midst of the heaviest moments she said "If you think this is good, I'm going to kill you." quote.

    EDIT: In the midst of stuff she also said she's "never felt this way before" in her life, including her ex (husband) which I simply can't believe.
    I would be vary... I would advise you to go and read on borderline personality disorder, just to be safe.
    Blue Flower thanked this post.

  6. #86
    INFP

    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Flower View Post
    “Life's for us to enjoy
    woman, man, girl and boy,
    feel the pain, feel the joy
    aside set the little bits of history repeating.”

    Avoiding pain and wallowing in it perpetually are both unhealthy.

    I feel it, deeply, til I’m sick of myself. Then I analyze it, from a distance. Then I understand it. Then I move on. If you love you will feel pain. Never being hurt means never having cared about something or someone enough for them to let you down. Face it, living is all about dying. To not find pain in life is to not love it sufficiently.
    I love this.
    Blue Flower thanked this post.

  7. #87

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    I love this.
    Aw thanks. I just read it and had one of those “I wrote this?” moments. lol
    L P thanked this post.

  8. #88
    ENFP

    Just here to learn.

  9. #89

    Infps feel deeply and strongly, and can be scared about coming off as over the top, or excessive in emotional reaction. That's why we can guard our feelings so much. When we are in, we are all in though.

    Infps can be very sensual. I wouldn't say she has borderline personality disorder, just a normal INFP. Hot and cold is very normal in the beginning, it's just protective. But when she is sure about you, the hot and cold will go away.

    How's it going now?
    Kenkao and Lion87 thanked this post.


     
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