Hey guys, newer INFP member here who has a question about INFP relationships with INFJs.
I made a similar thread in the INFJ forum, which eventually got closed for review (some commenters thought it would be cool to break the very clear forum rules about "typism" and hate on INFPs -rolls eyes- ), but I believe in you guys and believe that you won't let this thread go the same route.
As a bit of background, I am just recently out of a relationship with an INFJ man. We both loved each other immensely and had that addicting soul connection, but there were misunderstandings that built up and caused us both immense pain. (Both of us come from abusive backgrounds, so we've got quite sensitive souls, as well.) I eventually said we should both step back and take some time to work on ourselves and to work on understanding.
I saw him again recently, and it was as though no time at all had passed. That intense longing and love was still there for both of us. I've always felt intuitively that my life is going to be with this man, or none at all. I truly believe that, and I cherish his beautiful soul deeply.
That being said! I want to make sure that when I approach him to reconnect this time, it's done from a place of understanding of what went wrong and how better to reconnect. I got some great feedback from some INFJ members, but the borderline-abusive, generalizing comments certainly put a damper on things and skewed the discussion into unhelpful territory. That's why I hope to get a better perspective from you guys.
Although let me be clear in advance...I know all you sweeties are probably going through tons of hardships in your lives. I know it's our INFP nature to understand sadness innately. As a fellow INFP, I respect that greatly and support you. But please avoid unnecessary and damaging generalizing typism here. If you do respond in such a manner, I can't say for sure that I will respond back, and I encourage you not to reply to others who might respond that way. You also risk breaking the forum rules, so just...why do it, y'know? We're all way better than that.
Okay - anyway, the point of the thread!! I want to ask you about your relationships with INFJ people - specially romantic relationships, and especially if you are an INFP female who was in a relationship with an INFJ male.
What were things that are/were hard for you with your INFJ partner? Hard, or upsetting, disturbing, etc.? Did you have any particular ways of working through it all or coping when you could not? Please also feel free to include the things that you enjoyed about the relationship with your INFJ partner. It would be nice to add a bit of positivity!
Let's keep this civil, eh? I believe in you! Don't let us INFPs down! And I'm very much looking forward to hearing about your experiences.
Thank you, guys!
Edit: Most of our instances of miscommunication were simply that - miscommunication. And because both of us dislike fighting or arguments, rather than sitting and talking it out, we would often take time away to sort of lick our own wounds before coming back together. That was a big problem - that kind of avoidance of facing issues we encountered and waiting for things to go back to how they are/were when good. I think because we didn't know exactly what was going on as well, one or the other of us would also step away routinely, and it created a fear in the other party that we were losing each other, didn't trust each other, things like that. I understand this, but I think I do out of careful reflecting because of the time away from my partner. I'm asking this question now because I want to see if there were other possibilities that I missed and get a fuller perspective. I am absolutely sure there could have been!