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Fear of other people's perception

[INFP] 
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writing
930 views 13 replies 10 participants last post by  Blue Flower 
#1 ·
Most of my writing is kept private. I decided to post a couple of poems and short stories recently. It was nice to have an audience, but I keep getting this nagging voice in my head saying, "Oh, look at how profound CosmoJr thinks he is! What a hack! CosmoJr thinks he is deep." I really shouldn't care because I have confirmation that some people are taking away meaning and enjoying what I post. I can't get passed this. I just feel so goofy or like a faker or something.
 
#2 ·
Is there a nagging voice in your head that's already telling you you're 'pretentious' (not the word you used--rough guess), a 'hack', etc..? If so, do you know where the fears and judgments come from--why you feel that way about yourself?

I think if you can get in touch with or remind yourself why you want to write and share stories/poetry, then it will go a long way to helping you defend your practice against critics who project their own insecurities, values, etc. onto your work. If you can also honestly tell yourself why you've written something and explain how you've written it, then it might be a form of 'security'.
 
#3 ·
The voice has always been there. I constantly think of myself as pretentious in a lot of ways. Like I am just faking my way through everything. I don't know why. I will have to do some exploring.

I write because I love to do it and it has been a great outlet for me. I feel the need to share it as a way to sort of give back. The things I have read, music I have listened to, etc.. all shaped me and helped me in my life. I like to think of the CosmoJrJr out there that wants to be understood or is looking to have a place in this world.

Answering the questions you posed in a deeper way will help me understand what is going on. It will be therapeutic.
 
#6 ·
You've got to keep in mind that people who are reading your stuff, they'll want to like it.

What I mean is that they are going to give you the benefit of the doubt, just like anyone completing the marathon automatically gets a cheer. It would take a lot for people to conclude that you're a hack, unless you have sucky audiences. But in that case they're the problem.

As for phoniness, I can say with 100% certainty that I have no doubts about my work being unique because the details are completely unique. Deep down, I'm less certain about myself as a person, but it doesn't change that your inspiration was your own.
 
#7 ·
Take no notice of that voice. Instead of sticking to the unjustified conclusion 'pretentious' for yourself go further to the root motivation. This type of enquiry will tell for certain. The motivations that disappear when reflected upon are not sincere as they were born from insecurity, the ones that remain are deeper rooted thus more authentic. Overall deeply questioning your work is a promising sign of your development as it shows accountibility for output quality.
 
#8 ·
This is my observation of a real-life writer I deem to be 'pretentious':
--Markets his/her own poetry with a marketing spiel along the lines of 'ideal for anybody who loves poetry or is learning to write poetry'. Who died and made this person 'the' authority on poetry?
--Claims to have 'more' training and experience than 'most people' (his/her words) in creative writing. How the person knows this is a mystery.
--Claims to write 'literary fiction' in a 'literary style'. What does any of this even mean?
--Misuses literary and academic terms like 'oxymoron', 'enjambment', 'postmodern', etc..
--Claims to know who the 'average' reader is and what 'everybody' wants to read.

If you do none of these things, then you won't be considered 'pretentious' in my books :)
 
#9 ·
That reminds me of the Impostor syndrome
How did your achievements were regarded during your childhood ?
The critic voice in our head takes the shape of the general critic attitude we were meeted it during formative years.
This voice is akin to a recorder in repeat, it have no validity in itself, it is simply an outdated learned thought process that need deletion.

Good luck, artistic pursuits are a great self growth path !
 
#10 ·
Those voices are like background music. What do you do when a song is on in the background at a grocery store? Do you continue to grocery shop and ignore it? Or do you dance or muse on aisle 13?
 
#11 ·
Befriend your insecure inner critic. Take him to your favourite coffee shop. Ask him to stop focusing on you and notice the beauty of life around. I hope he relaxes a bit. Then proclaim your love for him. Tell him you want to hear him out, through and through. Have a conversation with your inner critic in a most cozy place and write the whole thing down as a dialogue between two individuals.

Then send it to me to read. :tongue::tongue:

I have a most fun relationship with my inner critic. It gets into verbal swearing sometimes as well.

"You haven't written a word for a week, you bastard!"

"I will if you can keep your mouth shut for one minute, you m****r f****r"

And so it goes...
 
#12 ·
Just do what I do -- plow straight ahead, like a bull in a china shop.

The person inhibiting your expression might be a total twit.

Don't let a twit hold you back (including yourself, don't make excuses, i.e., "other humans").

Practice courage. It's hard I know, and may increase as you get older.

It's called zero fucks. Practice Zero Fucks. Knock those valuable china pieces (chattering humans) off the shelf!

Leave a trail of destruction.
 
#14 ·
I think many artists love what they create one minute and loathe it the next. The same thing that gives us the urge to create tends to make us think it's all a bunch of crap.

BUT

I suffer from imposter syndrome. I don't know why. I think (THINK) that it is from a misguided drive to be humble. I WAS smarter than almost everyone else in my school, statistically. It made me different. It made me stand out. It made me learn to say "Aw shucks, really it was all just good luck that got me what I got" in an effort to not seem arrogant

It has not served me well. I should have taken a different path to not being arrogant. I should have taken pride in the things I worked hard to be. I am just learning to do that now. I mean just baby-steps learning. And I am middle-aged.

So, don't be me. Be proud of what you write. If someone gives you honest feedback that it could improve, realize that EVERYONE could improve and thank them for the feedback and consider whether it suits you or not. And produce some more.

Go forward and take pride in yourself. Because you should. Because you're awesome.
 
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