Hello peeps, after years of stalking and analyzing these forums, it's time to put my hat in the ring and OVERANALYZE!! Because this ENFP lady extraordinaire is developing a crush on a cute INFP male.
We met through a mutual contact, just professional networking to start, but had a pretty great initial convo about various topics that we both care about. After that first meeting, we wanted to talk more about topics of interest, so we met up for coffee and it still felt just friendly at that point, like getting to know a cool new friend.
Then, afterwards, he texted me almost every day, multiple times, even when he was on vacation, sharing about what he was up to and also sending things that I might find interesting. Because he's someone who is really invested in community and building friendships, I didn't think much of this and just took it as friendly convo.
After a few weeks of this, he texts without context, "I really want to hang out again." That's when my ears sort of perk up - is this romantic? Since I don't know him that well, I really try to not think too much of it (HA, nearly impossible for me) but regardless, I feel like I would be interested in taking things in that direction and respond enthusiastically. He suggests that we meet for dinner.
During dinner, I see that he's cleaned himself up a bit (shaved, haircut). (I've also dressed up a bit, teehee.) The convo was great and deep, but felt platonic. He called me "dude" and "man" multiple times. Also brought up his ex and mentioned dates that he's gone on. Otherwise, would ask me a lot of questions and also talked about himself. He also remembers little details from our previous convo that I totally forgot I shared.
We go for a walk after dinner, during which he'd say stuff like, "I planned my day around this [dinner]," to which I replied, "Oh, wow, thank you! I know it's a long drive up." And he's say, "Oh, it's no worries. I come up all the time. It's not a big deal." And, "That cafe we met at the first time, it'd be great to go back and work from there," to which I felt like he was suggesting something, so I replied, "Oh yes! Lemme know; it'd be great to cowork."
The evening ends with a hug and that's about it. I left feeling like it was purely platonic - and confused/disappointed. Afterwards, I text him that I appreciated him walking around town with me at night. He says that he had a lovely evening and is really enjoying getting to know me. He wishes me a great vacation and says he's excited to hear about how it goes afterwards. I say that I feel the same way and that I feel compelled to share that I think he's a beautiful human being. He says same here.
And then... Nada, zilch. No texting for the two weeks I'm gone. I text him twice while I'm away and get 2 word responses.
I get back and he texts me something but the convo doesn't really continue. I suggest that we hang out again next week, after a crazy week is over, and he says he'd love to.
Then, again, radio silence....
All in all, I know that this has only been a grand total of 3 TIMES we've met up. I know I'm overanalyzing (what's an ENFP to do). I do want to say that, from the brief time I've gotten to know him, I do think he's a beautiful human inside and out from what I've seen so far. I see his kindness, his humility, his vulnerability, how he listens, how he attunes to other people, how he cares about issues, and how he actively invests in community.
However, I don't appreciate this inconsistency of behavior. A friend suggested that he might feel friendzoned because I called him a "beautiful human being." Is that true? For me, that's the highest compliment that I could pay a person, and it was also a vulnerable moment for me - I felt like I was telling him that I was into him. Could he have interpreted it that way? Or, did he absolutely get it, and it wigged him out?
If anyone could shed some light on this rollercoaster of behavior, it'd be greatly appreciated for this ENFP who is definitely in a mental loop-de-loop. Thank you :bow:
P.S. I have a performance coming up - he bought a ticket to see it after I came back from vacation.