Every time I've tried to work at being in love, it never worked. It was like taking two steps back for every step forward. It always felt like there was something on the tip of my tongue that just couldn't come out.
Then with the person you're in love with, everything works. It's healing and not limiting. For me, kisses were different. Before I didn't actually enjoy kissing. I just desired it because the previous kiss left emptiness that I hoped lust from the next one would fill. It was like something in me was numb as it occurred. When kissing the love, it felt like what I imagined a good kiss would feel like. No more numbness and no disappointment.