This is a discussion on How do you get angry? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by Notus Asphodelus I don't know about you, but I think the reasonable way to deal with it ...
Depends on context and it's changed a lot over time. I don't think it'll ever stop changing.
It's easier for me to show active anger around people I'm comfortable with. Not sure how bad of a person that makes me, but it's the truth. If people I don't know well do or say something that makes me angry, I tend not to give any external indication and instead begin to calculate rapidly in my head, I guess. It's hard to explain. My threat radar turns on strongly and I immediately begin to pay attention to social power dynamics and start catering my replies to regain an upper (or equal) hand. This is my response to threatening behaviour in general, which does tend to make me feel anger rather than fear. Insults are another thing. Usually I find those amusing, depending. It's easier not to take that seriously. I can get rather clipped when people act in a way that seems dumb, helpless, or irritating to me, and become blunt and caustic. I'm not the raging or yelling type. Even the bluntness is controlled, at least in terms of tone and body language, though definitely not in terms of remaining within the confines of social acceptability. Condescension often makes me angry as well, though that triggers the "calculation" response.
I tend to bury anger, for the most part. It's a mind over matter thing. I feel it extremely when I'm by myself, at times. Not in relation to anything that exists presently. It's just there like an inner spark, creating willpower. I swear at my piano. I swear at my pets. I swear at myself. I don't swear at other people.