[INFP] How do you get angry? - Page 4

How do you get angry?

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This is a discussion on How do you get angry? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by Notus Asphodelus I don't know about you, but I think the reasonable way to deal with it ...

  1. #31

    Quote Originally Posted by Notus Asphodelus View Post
    I don't know about you, but I think the reasonable way to deal with it is to make peace with the thought that you will always wear your heart on your sleeves. The more you try to subdue it, the more it will express itself in other forms. The worst case may be in a form of an illness or .. resentment. Come to think of it, most of my problems occur not because of my inability to hide my emotions, but due to my not being able to communicate my thoughts in a way that is justifiable to people. Commucating alone is already taxing on my energy reserves. I have anxieties.. When things get frustrating, I tend to hold everything inside because I fear I might "burst". I think that 's what happens to my face.
    Yeah. No matter how many times I hear that I have to let Fi just be, I turn around to hurt that thing again and again. I needed to hear that Fi should just let be. You are spot on with the communicating thing. My mother was an ESFJ and not a healthy one. So, that also works against me from time to time.

  2. #32

    Depends on context and it's changed a lot over time. I don't think it'll ever stop changing.

    It's easier for me to show active anger around people I'm comfortable with. Not sure how bad of a person that makes me, but it's the truth. If people I don't know well do or say something that makes me angry, I tend not to give any external indication and instead begin to calculate rapidly in my head, I guess. It's hard to explain. My threat radar turns on strongly and I immediately begin to pay attention to social power dynamics and start catering my replies to regain an upper (or equal) hand. This is my response to threatening behaviour in general, which does tend to make me feel anger rather than fear. Insults are another thing. Usually I find those amusing, depending. It's easier not to take that seriously. I can get rather clipped when people act in a way that seems dumb, helpless, or irritating to me, and become blunt and caustic. I'm not the raging or yelling type. Even the bluntness is controlled, at least in terms of tone and body language, though definitely not in terms of remaining within the confines of social acceptability. Condescension often makes me angry as well, though that triggers the "calculation" response.

    I tend to bury anger, for the most part. It's a mind over matter thing. I feel it extremely when I'm by myself, at times. Not in relation to anything that exists presently. It's just there like an inner spark, creating willpower. I swear at my piano. I swear at my pets. I swear at myself. I don't swear at other people.

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