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Your ideal romantic relationship

[INFP] 
660 views 8 replies 8 participants last post by  0ddity 
#1 ·
Hello INFPs ! I'm currently thinking about... romance ! But one brain isn't enough, so I might need your help answering the following questions :

What would be your ideal romance ?
What would you expect from your partner ? How would s.he contribute to your happiness ?
What needs would fill a romance, and how ?
What would be your ideal plans for your future ?
Your ideal lifestyle ?

I would be so very happy to hear your inputs. :happy:
 
#2 ·
What would be your ideal romance? An Ideal romance would be one that does not degenerate into patterns, habits, rights, duties, responsibilities, obligations, burdens, demands and possessiveness. A relationship that has outgrown romantic fantasies and has accepted responsibility for the relationship between us. So actually, i am not after romance at all.

What would you expect from your partner? How would s.he contribute to your happiness? I would expect nothing, that way it would be clear if is meant to be. Let our love be full of surprises instead governed by expectations. Given our love is completely free choice from both sides, she would enhance my happiness by voluntarily committing to me from her free choice. Contribute seems to imply i am already not happy alone and that another factor is needed to bring it about.

What needs would fill a romance, and how?
I would hope we notice our prior hopes and sexual attractions but regard emotional needs and sex appeal as poor bases for love. instead let our love grow out of the persons we choose to be, which emerges from the sharing of our authentic uniqueness - what we fundamentally want to do with our lives.

What would be your ideal plans for your future? Who knows? As we become more authentic we grow and change, along with our relationship. Like several rotating cogs at a time the future holds variables that are endless, only together in the now we might know.

Your ideal lifestyle? For us to love freely, creatively and reaffirm our love for each other from the freest place in our being, if it is so. What that looks like can be anyone's guess.
 
#3 ·
Xnfp I think



1. Someone who comfort yet compel my mind - makes me laugh nonstop and understand my wants and needs

2. That they give me freedom - trust in me - not get jealous and doesn’t demand too much of my time - along with monogamy and loyalty of course

3. Connections - chemistry and friendship - It’s hard for me to find connection or chemistry with anyone regardless how great they are do that’s a given - I enjoy having a partner that I could talk to because romance and sexiness wears off after a while but a man who could make me laugh daily - now that’s a real treat

4. I think I’m living my ideal plan right now - Im in my dream job - dream career and my work is something I deeply value and am passion about. In terms of romance - ah my partner is nowhere near perfect but with that said I do enjoy him as quite much - he makes me laughs more than anyone I know and we can talk for hours

5. A relationship full of laughter and having a partner that writes or acts with me - course that’s only a dream however reality is cool I’m not complaining
 
#4 ·
What would be your ideal romance? General actions we consider to be 'romance' or an actual relationship? If the former, just things to show they are thinking of me. I'm not traditionally romantic, I suppose. An actual relationship must be stable and provide improvement and growth.

What would you expect from your partner? How would s/he contribute to your happiness?
- Maintain their own life [do not make me the center of your world]
- Purposeful worker and upstanding person
- Improves me [if you don't add anything to my life, no reason for you to be there]

everything else is icing on the cake. :tongue:

What needs would fill a romance, and how?
- boundaries
- solid self-confidence
- security
- care and comfort
- love, obviously

What would be your ideal plans for your future?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Your ideal lifestyle?
Building our lives together and fulfilling our purposes. It'll fall into place as we continue on the same path.
 
#5 · (Edited)
Mmmh... this really gave me food for thoughts.

Reading, I was wondering if asking for people to answer these questions was a way for me to avoid answering. After all, talking about ideals also mean talking about our desires, our needs. What might be currently missing in our lives, and also our vulnerabilities. Getting in touch within, and having the courage to disclose it. I still feel so weak with emotions... Thank you everyone for sharing these touching, intimate parts of yourselves.

I suppose it would be quite unfair to you and me if I didn't do the exercise and share my answers. So here's my contribution.


What would be your ideal romance ?
A relationship full with love. Warmth, cuddles, affection and a sense of playfulness. A continual give and take between me and my partner, both acknowledging each other's importance in each other's life.

What would you expect from your partner ? How would s.he contribute to your happiness ?
A sense of competition, or rivalry, while never being against each other. To stimulate each other mind, to push each other to go forward in the path we've chosen. Seeing the other grow while growing by his side.

What needs would fill a romance, and how ?
My security needs, and my self-esteem needs. To feel cared of, to feel nurtured, to have someone by my side, even when we're far away physically. To sense that "there's someone I care for, here in this world, and this person cares for me". To exist for one another, to feel that our existence matter, which give us a sense of meaningfulness.

What would be your ideal plans for your future ?
To continue what I'm doing right now. Following my path, without being worried about my partnership, while my partner does the same. Our path will cross by itself if future decides so, and our individual experience spent far from each other will only make the relationship richer.

Your ideal lifestyle ?
A life where I can take the time to think about what's important, and where I have the time and power to do what's important. Whether I'm in subordination or a free atom it doesn't matter so much, as long as I can do what's meaningful for me at each moment and be here to support my loved ones.

edit : added question. After death ?
If I was to die first, I wish to find a mean to still be here to contribute to the well-being of my partner and those we cherished. Whether it is financially, through works I would have left behind me, or other means I would have found in between. If I were to loose my loved one first, I would love to cherish the experiences and wisdom he passed upon me, and make a memento to always remember it.
 
#7 ·
What would be your ideal romance?
One where we escape things and become closer together.

What would you expect from your partner ? How would s.he contribute to your happiness?
I would expect him to always be there for me and have my back. That doesn't mean letting me be right all the time because that is not looking out for my best interest.

What needs would fill a romance, and how?
I deal with a lot of stuff every day that makes me doubt myself. I need to be able to come home to somebody who doesn't cause me to doubt myself more and additionally wants to help me improve in my weak areas, though they take me as I am. I need also to be able to care for somebody and show them love. And I need to address their other needs too.

What would be your ideal plans for your future?
I want us to both keep doing what we like to do and are best at. But we'd come back home and be able to spend time with each other.

Your ideal lifestyle?
I want my home to be with them, whatever we end up doing. Always safety, comfort and intimacy. I don't want to live apart from them. It's hard for me to do chores around the house just because I need them done. I need to have that goal of caring for someone else.
 
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