This is a discussion on Was I Taken For a Ride? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by Blue Flower Next time offer to buy him a meal. You’ll have your answer. I wouldn't bet ...
Last week a 'homeless guy' said he needed money for a fish burger and french fries. I gave him my fries, he took them and later returned them to me. A few minutes later he walks out of the place with a fish burger.
Would've appreciated if he'd just thrown the fries, because now I'm not feeling particularly generous...
I read a sign at my local grocery store where a lot of homeless people walk near. It said something like:
"Don't give to panhandlers! Give to charity."
Makes sense to me. (Given that charity can force what homeless people receive like getting them food instead of drugs or can benefit people who need wells dug in Africa.)
It is possible either way. What ever the case it is their business, although what i find effective is to put attention on our interaction, however brief. I remain attentive to how receptive he or she is for genuine help; a help that allows them to help themselves. Listen to their story, recognise and point to the value that they have forgotten is even in their life. When you show someone value that they have forgotten they now have a purpose, something to live for, a focal point in which all things about them will gravitate to consciously or unconsciously. That to me is more powerful than the next batch of heroin they may shoot up as the Fact is, all bodies will eventually decay and recycle back into the earth. What matters really is what meaning we brought to the world through our sense of found purpose. Even someone who is materially wealthy but has no purpose deep down will feel poor inside, and inside is the place one visits before leaving the body. You make your own bed, so to speak.
Yeah probably. But if your fault is kindly/naively giving, that's really not the worst fault to have. I have looked into panhandling too and overall it's recommended that giving to structured organizations helps people in need more in the long run. But, you know, sometimes I'll still give a dollar to someone on the street if I actually ever have one on me. Chaotic kindness I guess. I try to make an informed judgment but ultimately I'm no mindreader and I can't really tell if someone's playing me or is going to take it and harm themself further with drugs or is going to use it to buy formula for their sick cousin's infant kid. I just try to make a reasonable decision and send it into the universe along with a prayer for the best. What else can you do? Make the best decisions you can, as much as you can, and forgive yourself and the universe alike for the rest.