Self explanatory title.
I only see my "friends" at least, once or twice a year. Hence why I put friends in speech commas. I know these people, I get along with them, but do I really know them? To be honest, not really. They're not acquaintances, but it feels like they're not close friends either. It sucks, I want to see some of them more... but adult life, work schedules and all that you know? It makes me wonder, do adults really have quality friendships or do they just wander from person to person, getting what interaction they can, but ultimately are still lonely because there is no intimacy and it... damn it sucks.
Of course I know it goes both ways. There is this one friend I have that I initiate contact with, but they never initially message me, or come and see me, when I've gone and seen them... so it makes me feel like its not worth keeping the friendship anymore, if they don't really want to be my friend. I give up. I mean, people have said others are lazy at keeping contact, but there comes a point when it's just... maybe they don't care at all.
Also, it's probably a fault of mine that I'm picky with friendships, well.. I just want somebody who likes some of the same things as me at least, similar personality and humour at least... like I don't like clubbing, so why would I have a friend whose main fun time out is clubbing? *sigh*
Maybe I shouldn't be complaining so much though, because I haven't contacted anyone lately... but..
There's some people I want to get closer to, and some I don't. And the ones I don't are the ones that are mostly available... or maybe I'm just too picky? The one person I want to build more rapport with doesn't really... message me back any more? Or maybe they're just too busy? (She is a chef.) Last time I heard she's living somewhere waaay far away. Argh. Besides her there's not really anyone else I kind of... clicked with straight away... You know what the weird thing is, I didn't even know her for that long and after I few weeks I've felt like I've known her forever, and I missed her when she wasn't at work. It was like, as if, I was in love or something. But I'm not? I mean, I'm not a lesbian at all. Or maybe this is a normal feeling for females? We can feel close even though we're not partners or anything?
Anyway, guess I'm at fault a little bit too.
... Err... anybody else feel this way?