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This is a discussion on Hey within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I'm not sure if I'm an INFP or INFJ. I've been teetering between both my whole life every time I ...

  1. #1
    Unknown

    Hey

    I'm not sure if I'm an INFP or INFJ. I've been teetering between both my whole life every time I retake the test. Ok.. Now let me tell you about my life a little before I dig deep into the concerns I have with people and society.
    Ever since I can remember I just wanted to have fun and be happy and want others to feel the same too but in the most pure way meaning my happiness isn't sinning and shit and being "liberal" and "rebelling" being hedonistic even though I've indulged and currently indulge in that type of lifestyle but in context of wanting a wife and kids and being able to be hedonistic with one person, not multiple. But overall, my life has been pretty horrid since a kid because I've been naive and thought that people were just like me and were actually and not just out of necessity or just only nice to loved ones. Going through this awakening I've come across major epiphanies about the secrets to life that has shook me to my core and I don't even know how I'm still alive right now. But these awakenings have led me to believe and know for a fact that people are not what I thought they were. It's different. Before, even though people were a different color than me or looked different or even talked different than me, I always thought that they were good people behind all that. But then I realized that the color and the way they look and the way they talk and how their mouths are shaped affected whether they were evil or not. If I didn't grow up in the hood, I'd probably be really really scare for my life right now knowing this info, I still am a little bit it's very deep deep down inside of me.
    Point is, recently, I've been making music, well not recently, damn near my whole life but people lie and tell me they like it pretty much or they straight up say they don't like it but it's because of bad reasons but the main reason is because it's not evil enough lol but the funny thing is, my music is demonic but because people sense who I am and my energy and sense that I pretty much will kill you if you're evil and that I actually am pure and not an evil person even though my music is demonic they say my music is trash.. OR.. it will have certain people that I thought were close friends tell me not to put out my demonic imagery in my music or sabotage my music rollout on purpose because they know my energy and know I can change the world if done right.. They want me to be like them or not be like them and just submit and succumb to how the system is run but I swear on every pure soul in existence I will not submit and be like them to the death. I will spit in their face with blood in my mouth.. I actually laughed when some fake Bloods jumped me and I'm a real one and been bangin since a jit and when they were kicking me and punching me in my mouth I didn't cry, I fuckin laughed, they ran before I can do any damage to them but the pain stopped me from running but I was laughing because they were pussy and because the pain literally was holding me back on some funny shit so I'm not a soft person and it's just funny how people nowadays will look at me and paint me to be the soft one when everyone is too soft to be good.. isn't it ironic? Like I have literally caught people I have told about themselves and they would stay quiet and or say anything to deter from what I'm talking about kinda like some people when they see this thread. But what I really want to know is, why is two of my friends who don't know each other telling me to pretty much don't make evil music or add evil imagery in my shit when all the top acts are successful because of it on top of everyone in the world I think are already evil? Is it because they're secretly evil and since they do music too, they don't want me to stand out? Is it because my music would hit and affect their soul so strongly they can't take it? Sometimes evil is not about 666 and upside down crosses, it's the intent and I see everybody's fucking intent so how are they gonna tell me don't do it when it's not like I really am evil, it's for the opps, the evil people. I'm being evil to evil people. That's what my imagery and music is about. It's not about killing innocent people and bullying people who did nothing. It's about giving them a taste of their own medicine.. I feel like everyone is sabotaging me. I feel like I'm secretly being sabotaged. Like.. I can't listen to mainstream poppy music or any music for that matter anymore and just see it as music when I see the person's character when they sing. It's not good. If people can't accept me for me then I know they're evil because deep down I'm pure and I don't want bad things to happen to people but look.. Millions of kids being missing a year, not a peep about it. We all know what's going on. No one saying anything.. Fuck this world

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FX_JD8TD7nY

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bxofcVxnXAQ



  2. #2

    Between INFP and INFJ, you are an INFP for sure.

  3. #3

    I'm not sure if I've just read plot of Vampire the masquerade - bloodlines 2 or backstory of a future serial killer (or a present one?).Either way, I found it entertaining and got quite a good laugh, despite it should be quite creepy. I suppose you could say I've pretty demonic sense of humor.

    Assuming you're even one of the 2, I would probably say you match closer INFP due to seemingly internal and personal moral system that puts emphasis on own bizarre notion of purity and evil, along with unwillingness to conform to external objections to those criteria.

  4. #4
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by UberY0shi View Post
    Between INFP and INFJ, you are an INFP for sure.
    Yeah I resonated more with that personally.

  5. #5
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by NagatoUzumaki View Post
    I'm not sure if I've just read plot of Vampire the masquerade - bloodlines 2 or backstory of a future serial killer (or a present one?).Either way, I found it entertaining and got quite a good laugh, despite it should be quite creepy. I suppose you could say I've pretty demonic sense of humor.<img src="https://personalitycafe.com/images/smilies/1/laughing.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Laughing" class="inlineimg" />

    Assuming you're even one of the 2, I would probably say you match closer INFP due to seemingly internal and personal moral system that puts emphasis on own bizarre notion of purity and evil, along with unwillingness to conform to external objections to those criteria.
    Lol I've been called school shooter, serial killer, the devil, creep, dick, asshole, scum of the earth, bottom of the barrel, you name it.. so yea I'm used to it. I hear you with the whole bizzare thing but what I'm saying is facts. It's not bizzare. I'm alive right now living it. This isn't a story. I fuck with the vampire bloodlines saga too. But this is real life. All I can say is I don't have anywhere to put this shit at. Everyone in life is just money hungry whores regardless of gender. I don't expect to meet people like me on here or pure ppl on here anymore.. But idk.. you never know

  6. #6
    Unknown

    I also want to add that I'm disappointed in the male species. I thought they had morals but they really are evil people. I just don't know which gender made who evil first. I've always leaned towards women but men have always conquered them for billions of years already but maybe for good reason? Idk.. But the point is, I just wanted to add that I'm living proof that this world is fucked. Because if the world can turn me into a monster then there is no hope. Girls have shunned me or embraced me all because of money and that lowkey started my descent into the way I perceive life. If girls weren't so obsessed with the cool crowd and for a guy being rich or having money so they can buy them stuff for them or their future kids than I'd be a much happier person right now. I'm an idealist but for good reason. If you was in my shoes, how could you not be an idealist? How could you not be being me in my own meat suit? I mean, i was homeless and no girl wanted me. Not one. That's when I knew love was fake and everything is bullshit. Porn is the truth about life and society. Porn is the truth.. Not only that how we move. All dudes are gay. Everyone hides it. But when we talk we see a person and then we see our genitals if we're not thinking too hard about blocking those thoughts out. All I know is that society wants us to be so advanced when we haven't even laid the groundwork first. We haven't mastered the basics and gotten to the bottom of the most basic shit about ourselves.. our psyche. We don't have our emotions in check. Everyone judges and kills each other so how the fuck can you think you're holier than thou when you haven't even admitted to others about who you really are.. No one tells each other how their mouths move. They just expect people to know.. The most basic of shit people can't talk about.. Mostly because of society and girls .. girls saying eww and outcasting you and labeling you as weird.. Im the black sheep, outcast, everything you want to call it. I'm it. I'm probably the most outcasted person who doesn't fit in or belong nowhere on earth.. But it's not because I really am weird. That's the funny thing. It's because everyone else really is the weird ones in the superficial sense but in the non superficial sense I don't fit in because I'm plainly just different. I know everyone says they don't fit in. But I really extremely don't fit in. I have been called everything in the book.. Everything.. I'm ready to die and go.. I'm so ready it's not even funny but I don't believe in suicide because I don't want to put that karma on myself in the afterlife if one exists..

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Shoulderlean View Post
    Lol I've been called school shooter, serial killer, the devil, creep, dick, asshole, scum of the earth, bottom of the barrel, you name it.. so yea I'm used to it. I hear you with the whole bizzare thing but what I'm saying is facts. It's not bizzare. I'm alive right now living it. This isn't a story. I fuck with the vampire bloodlines saga too. But this is real life. All I can say is I don't have anywhere to put this shit at. Everyone in life is just money hungry whores regardless of gender. I don't expect to meet people like me on here or pure ppl on here anymore.. But idk.. you never know
    As long first two terms don't apply to you by a definition (or similar terms that would be equally or closely undesirable) I'm not very concerned and as I said I found it entertaining. That said what you wrote, indeed comes of very serial killer-esque. When you talk about people "sensing" who you're are, your energy and how you would kill them if they're evil and your purity, that's really comes of like your self-perception that you ascribe to them, rather than actual description of how they perceive you (I doubt they themselves would describe you as pure, your music not being evil enough) as you acknowledge yourself as pure later in the post and talk about you being evil to evil people and then you proclaim people who won't accept you as evil, what probably is a quite extensive list, assuming you communicate in way you do here.

    Now referring it being real life, a lot of what you've wrote again was filtered by your own perception that that you've ascribed to others and assumed they've made decisions and judgement on basis same criteria that you and they accept/agree with terminology to criteria they judge or make decisions through. What do you mean by money hungry whores? I mean do refer to other people's pursue of money. in some specific context like relationships?.I also would like to know how do you define pure and what one would need to be to classify as pure.

  8. #8
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by NagatoUzumaki View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Shoulderlean View Post
    Lol I've been called school shooter, serial killer, the devil, creep, dick, asshole, scum of the earth, bottom of the barrel, you name it.. so yea I'm used to it. I hear you with the whole bizzare thing but what I'm saying is facts. It's not bizzare. I'm alive right now living it. This isn't a story. I fuck with the vampire bloodlines saga too. But this is real life. All I can say is I don't have anywhere to put this shit at. Everyone in life is just money hungry whores regardless of gender. I don't expect to meet people like me on here or pure ppl on here anymore.. But idk.. you never know
    As long first two terms don't apply to you by a definition (or similar terms that would be equally or closely undesirable) I'm not very concerned and as I said I found it entertaining. That said what you wrote, indeed comes of very serial killer-esque. When you talk about people "sensing" who you're are, your energy and how you would kill them if they're evil and your purity, that's really comes of like your self-perception that you ascribe to them, rather than actual description of how they perceive you (I doubt they themselves would describe you as pure, your music not being evil enough) as you acknowledge yourself as pure later in the post and talk about you being evil to evil people and then you proclaim people who won't accept you as evil, what probably is a quite extensive list, assuming you communicate in way you do here.

    Now referring it being real life, a lot of what you've wrote again was filtered by your own perception that that you've ascribed to others and assumed they've made decisions and judgement on basis same criteria that you and they accept/agree with terminology to criteria they judge or make decisions through. What do you mean by money hungry whores? I mean do refer to other people's pursue of money. in some specific context like relationships?.I also would like to know how do you define pure and what one would need to be to classify as pure.
    What I define as pure is people who aren't sarcastic assholes in their core. I don't go to bars and clubs because everyone will judge me at those events. Even at supermarkets. The only time I'll go to a club is if they playing my music and I'm going to perform. Other than that, it's a big fuckin waste of time with people judging you on how you look and if they approve then shit is lit.. but with that said, I wholeheartedly think people are asshole animals deep down in their core otherwise I wouldn't even be on here typing. And yes I've made early perceptions only because when you will probably think all those things about me down the line anyway or be like those same people anyway if you don't catch on to it at first.. and by money hungry I mean, money hungry.. it's as simple as that. People are fuckin money hungry. Dudes will damn near betray their best friend for some pussy and money. Girls will do anything for dick and money.. so what do you think?
    Everyone is desperate for money and good living but not desperate for being a good person at their core.. So this is why I'm an outcast. You should see what all of my exes admitted to me. They all agreed that I was right in my foundings and that they were money hungry whores and that they were proud of it. All I know is life is really not a game and I'm in the most unfavorable position one can be in besides on the brink of death and I don't know what to fuckin do about it because I'm not gonna submit or kill myself..
    Last edited by Shoulderlean; 11-17-2019 at 05:06 PM.

  9. #9
    Unknown

    Another thing, people spend so much time building themselves up and their lives up while thinking they are king or queens of the world in their soul, lol but people still dying out here.. people are going to die believing they are holier than thou and they can't even stop violence or stop the elite from kidnapping and raping kids.. money and intelligence don't impress me.. how bout you get those fuckin kids out those goddamn fuckin dungeons.. now that'll impress me..

  10. #10
    Unknown

    I low-key can't even make the music I want to make because I have to make music that's hard so people can get the fuckin picture. I'd be doing an injustice if I make happy music when there's people dying as we speak not happy.. I'll be happy once everybody is happy first..until then, I don't respect anybody tbh because everyone loves to go out in the world with their fake bravado making me and people like me uncomfortable making the world a worse place to be in because you think you run shit instead of people actually coming together to get shit in order.. people will tell me to get my shit together aka get money when they need to get their shit together aka gain a conscience and actually put energy into saving lives, not just living for yourself until u shit your pants when you're 80


     
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