I'm not sure if I'm an INFP or INFJ. I've been teetering between both my whole life every time I retake the test. Ok.. Now let me tell you about my life a little before I dig deep into the concerns I have with people and society.
Ever since I can remember I just wanted to have fun and be happy and want others to feel the same too but in the most pure way meaning my happiness isn't sinning and shit and being "liberal" and "rebelling" being hedonistic even though I've indulged and currently indulge in that type of lifestyle but in context of wanting a wife and kids and being able to be hedonistic with one person, not multiple. But overall, my life has been pretty horrid since a kid because I've been naive and thought that people were just like me and were actually and not just out of necessity or just only nice to loved ones. Going through this awakening I've come across major epiphanies about the secrets to life that has shook me to my core and I don't even know how I'm still alive right now. But these awakenings have led me to believe and know for a fact that people are not what I thought they were. It's different. Before, even though people were a different color than me or looked different or even talked different than me, I always thought that they were good people behind all that. But then I realized that the color and the way they look and the way they talk and how their mouths are shaped affected whether they were evil or not. If I didn't grow up in the hood, I'd probably be really really scare for my life right now knowing this info, I still am a little bit it's very deep deep down inside of me.
Point is, recently, I've been making music, well not recently, damn near my whole life but people lie and tell me they like it pretty much or they straight up say they don't like it but it's because of bad reasons but the main reason is because it's not evil enough lol but the funny thing is, my music is demonic but because people sense who I am and my energy and sense that I pretty much will kill you if you're evil and that I actually am pure and not an evil person even though my music is demonic they say my music is trash.. OR.. it will have certain people that I thought were close friends tell me not to put out my demonic imagery in my music or sabotage my music rollout on purpose because they know my energy and know I can change the world if done right.. They want me to be like them or not be like them and just submit and succumb to how the system is run but I swear on every pure soul in existence I will not submit and be like them to the death. I will spit in their face with blood in my mouth.. I actually laughed when some fake Bloods jumped me and I'm a real one and been bangin since a jit and when they were kicking me and punching me in my mouth I didn't cry, I fuckin laughed, they ran before I can do any damage to them but the pain stopped me from running but I was laughing because they were pussy and because the pain literally was holding me back on some funny shit so I'm not a soft person and it's just funny how people nowadays will look at me and paint me to be the soft one when everyone is too soft to be good.. isn't it ironic? Like I have literally caught people I have told about themselves and they would stay quiet and or say anything to deter from what I'm talking about kinda like some people when they see this thread. But what I really want to know is, why is two of my friends who don't know each other telling me to pretty much don't make evil music or add evil imagery in my shit when all the top acts are successful because of it on top of everyone in the world I think are already evil? Is it because they're secretly evil and since they do music too, they don't want me to stand out? Is it because my music would hit and affect their soul so strongly they can't take it? Sometimes evil is not about 666 and upside down crosses, it's the intent and I see everybody's fucking intent so how are they gonna tell me don't do it when it's not like I really am evil, it's for the opps, the evil people. I'm being evil to evil people. That's what my imagery and music is about. It's not about killing innocent people and bullying people who did nothing. It's about giving them a taste of their own medicine.. I feel like everyone is sabotaging me. I feel like I'm secretly being sabotaged. Like.. I can't listen to mainstream poppy music or any music for that matter anymore and just see it as music when I see the person's character when they sing. It's not good. If people can't accept me for me then I know they're evil because deep down I'm pure and I don't want bad things to happen to people but look.. Millions of kids being missing a year, not a peep about it. We all know what's going on. No one saying anything.. Fuck this world