I've noticed from a lot of stalking on the INFP forum that some of you guys have a lot of self doubts and take awhile to feel at home with who you are as men. Apparently the world is full of woman demanding outgoing pushy jocks.
I wanted to tell you all that you're amazing as INFPs and that out there is a woman who will adore you for being just that.
I spent a decade in a relationship with that strong guy who never cries, the manly man who's in control and taking charge. Only when I got out of it did I realize that I was missing something *huge* in my life. I was missing being truly and deeply loved.
I'm an INFJ which might make it so, but when I stumbled upon my INFP, I was instantly mesmerized. I had never met someone so genuine. Deeply honest, passionate and with an incredible ability to read the needs of others. At first I found myself often irritated or jealous when he did things for so many other people. Always addressing concerns as soon as they arose, until I realized this was the amazing faucet of his personality. He's sets things right. He smooths things out between people.
I met a man who knows how to apologize, genuinely. Who loves to make me smile and feel appreciated. I appreciated every moment that he would withdraw to spend time alone, but still always reach out to check in on me. The way he supports me unconditionally and believes in me. So many men want to solve you problems. He just offers me support and love and a belief that I will find my way through it. Nothing has ever made me feel stronger.
He is the first man I could be 100% myself. That quirky messed up INFJ that I am. I can tell him my deepest thoughts, things that would make "manly men" run for the hills, yet he holds me and loves me more intensely afterwards. It is incredible.
The way he writes, the way he plays music. His little self-doubts that come out that leave me wanting to tell him how incredibly amazing he really is.
He's the first man I ever met that isn't willing to settle for "good enough". When I met him, I thought he had the simplest dreams in life. And after knowing him for 6 months, I now realize he had the deepest, most complex dreams in the world, I just didn't understand him enough when we first met, to see that.
That's the INFP to me. They seem so straight forward on the outside, but inside, they're this incredible swirling mass of wonder and depth. It astounds me.
Because of my past experiences, I wasn't expecting much from my man on Valentine's Day. I wasn't. When he invited me to dinner tonight, I was thrilled. Yippee!
But I should have known better when it comes to my INFP. You guys GET romance! Seriously, you do!! Other men, sure they try. They buy you a box of chocolates from Walmart, maybe a dozen roses from the grocery store. If they're really trying to please, they have them delivered to your work the next day. Maybe they make nice dinner reservations. Aww. Yeah. So romantic.
The INFP? THEY ARE STORYBOOK ROMANCE.
I walked out to my car this morning, and tucked under my wiper was a card and a chocolate rose. I couldn't stop smiling. And not only was the card the perfect capture of our relationship, and was not only the hand written message inside the perfect words that only an INFP could write, but he hand-made a CD with my favourite song. I didn't even know he remembered my favourite song because I only told him once, and it is not common or mainstream in the slightest.
As my radio blared my favourite song, and that beautiful card and rose sat on the seat beside me, I *knew* that I could never again feel for another type as I do for the INFP. This is romance. This is love. This is depth and breadth. This is it.
Seriously guys. INFPs. The best.
Just saying. ; )