[INFP] Hiding your gifts from people

Hiding your gifts from people

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This is a discussion on Hiding your gifts from people within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; i was wondering if any of you are the same way. i like to write poetry and lyrics but i ...

  1. #1

    Hiding your gifts from people

    i was wondering if any of you are the same way. i like to write poetry and lyrics but i don't want anyone i'm close to, to read them. i'll keep a piece of paper in my pocket and my mom will take them to throw them in the laundry and take the damn thing out and leave it on the counter for anyone to see and i don't want her or any relatives reading it, i wish she'd stay out of my stuff so i don't have to find a hiding spot. anyway do any of you hide your talents from those close to you to avoid embarrassment, mockery or just out of plain fear of what they think or say? and because i do this people think i don't have ambitions in life because i don't want to tell them i want to be a musician so to them i just don't know what the hell i'm going to do in life but really i'm more ambitious than anyone i know, i just don't let it show.
    OrangeAppled, Chilln, susurration and 14 others thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INFP - The Idealists

    I was like you when I was young. I'd write fiction and essays and stuff and not let anyone close to me read them. I was more comfortable sending them off to magazine editors than I was letting people I knew see them--I guess, because in a way there were pieces of me in all those things and people who knew me would have realized that and I wasn't comfortable with sharing.

    Even now, I'm 37 and have published like a bazillion places--but I still don't let my family read the stuff. It's out there and they can find it, but I don't ask them to go read it or anything like that. I'm a little more open with my friends at least. Not all of them, though--like I still spend time with my high school creative writing teacher and he occasionally asks about reading my stuff and I immediately panic. I don't know, it's weird.

    But, you're definitely not alone.

  3. #3
    INFJ

    Oh I don't let anyone read my poetry, see my art, read my lyrics, listen to my music...anything I create! That's a good thing...it means it came from your heart and you don't want anyone to know that part of you...well, it's a good thing that it came from your heart, I'd love to show people the person I am inside
    I don't even think they know I'm artistic or creative at all xD

    I've told my parents I want to be a musician, but they were kinda worried about that at the time because they didn't even know I was into music or writing...some time later my dad told me he thought I had a good singing voice and that i played guitar well, but I think they still expect me to be a music teacher or something. Teaching is not for me! I want to live by the idea that following your heart will get you where you want to...it's hard in this society though >.<
    The society we live in makes it hard to really be who you want to...but i don't see the point in living if you can't be happy and do what makes your heart beat...otherwise living is just a duty
    susurration, HorrorGeek, Maureen and 2 others thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by AvaAdore View Post
    anyway do any of you hide your talents from those close to you to avoid embarrassment, mockery or just out of plain fear of what they think or say?
    I do that exact same thing! I hate letting anyone see my paintings or my writing (and I'm a writing major and art minor!), even my professors. If I need someone to edit one of my stories I put it off until the very last second and then usually pick between the same three people that I know I'll be the least embarrassed in front of. Does anyone know how to combat that fear? In order for us to go through with our ambitions, we have to at least loosen up that side of ourselves, but I haven't the slightest idea where to begin.
    HorrorGeek thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFP - The Idealists

    It really bugs my family that I won't let them read what I write. I write novels and essays. I keep them private for two reasons.

    One, I hate showing a piece that isn't finished, edited seventeen times, and smoothly polished - and when the piece is a novel, that can take years.

    Two, I have a fear in sharing my work that stems from a feeling of inadequacy. Even though my family and friends are always telling me they enjoy my work, that it's "better than anything they could have written" - they are just saying it to be nice, because none of them are writers. They can't read it objectively. I want honest opinions, and even when I share something sublimely shitty, they tell me it's great. I don't want to be treated like everything I do is just wonderful because I'm the one who wrote it. I want my work to be appreciated for what it is. And while they think it's great, I tend to hate most of it...
    OrangeAppled, HorrorGeek and Blackbird thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFJ

    I've gotten over a lot of fears by just switching my way of thinking...I've turned into the kind of person who doesn't really get embarrassed easily even though I used to get embarrassed VERY easily
    When something happens that makes me uncomfortable, I chase away the thoughts and just tell myself not to care...you eventually stop caring...You just have to keep telling yourself that and you have to tell yourself good things
    That's helped me with social phobia also
    I can see myself being able to show things I create to other people in the near future

    Ok sorry...this is almost not on point, but it still pertains haha
    HorrorGeek and KaalaLilee thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by canaria View Post
    Does anyone know how to combat that fear? In order for us to go through with our ambitions, we have to at least loosen up that side of ourselves, but I haven't the slightest idea where to begin.
    I've found with writing that you just have to let go. Writing is meant to be read and if you're not putting it out there, it sort of defeats the purpose. It's hard at first, but it gets easier. You really do get a thick skin after awhile or else you get out of the writing biz. I remember my first rejections, even the encouraging ones, being absolutely devastating and I took them very personally. You can't do that. Well, you can, but it's a recipe for disaster. Writing for publication is kinda like baseball--if you're hitting .300, that's pretty fantastic, even though it means you fail more than twice out of every three attempts.

    I think you should continue to show stuff to people you trust, but with each new piece you create, try to make it a point to show it to one other person who's never seen your work before. A group of people would be terrifying--but one person? You can do that.
    OrangeAppled, Maureen and Blackbird thanked this post.

  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by canaria View Post
    Does anyone know how to combat that fear? In order for us to go through with our ambitions, we have to at least loosen up that side of ourselves, but I haven't the slightest idea where to begin.
    well for me its not too hard to get over the fear, my best friend is in my band with me and is a very confident person, i'll tell him that i don't want people to make fun of me and all my social fears and stuff like that and he'll tell me that my words are meaningful and are a lot better than most of the stuff out there today and that what people think shouldn't matter. he's definitely the balls of the band, and i'm the brain so it works out quite well....although it is tough for me to find people interested to be in a band cause i'm still missing two members and i don't know where to look in order to find people similar musically with me, so i still have some fear and i don't think i'll ever get completely over it, i think if i was famous i still wouldn't want my lyrics printed in the album booklet. i don't know i guess its because i view my lyrics as someone would view a diary.
    HorrorGeek thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INFJ

    I just stop myself from thinking about anything that makes me uncomfortable...that's why I've been preoccupied with trying to become the kind of person who doesn't care what people think

  10. #10
    INFP - The Idealists

    Omg, I'm the same way with my writing. I would rather read it aloud in front of a group of 500 people than show it to any friend who's not an INFP. I feel like after I became wildly successful, I wouldn't mind it, but right now I still would be embarrassed I if showed off my stuff to family and friends and then failed as a writer. I would rather fail secretly.


     
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