[INFP] Does the thought count?

Does the thought count?

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  • 1 Post By INFP_Clarity
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This is a discussion on Does the thought count? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; "Do people actually like the INFP?" - threads I've read a lot about (Okay, this is completely out of my ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists

    Does the thought count?

    "Do people actually like the INFP?" - threads I've read a lot about

    (Okay, this is completely out of my own experiences, and perhaps a little bit of paranoia.
    I could just be narcissistic, but this is how it seems to me...)

    People like my brother, an ESTJ, see many characters on T.V. portraying the exterior of an INFP: curiosity and shyness. But, when encountering people like this in real life, he sees them as ditz and unreasonable. I guess some people could say we are, but I think that's there's way more than what meets the eye. We have values and rules just like any other personality, and now I'm speaking for myself, it's just that sometimes we/I get lost in my own world. This thought of us being day dreamers floating or drifting away with the clouds, is it good for us or bad? People have said that they admire INFP personalities, but they don't think that I'm a complete INFP... Well, I am... I just think people should get this idea out of their head. I think people are beginning to like the thought more than the actual reality of it.

    1) INFPs aren't going to grow fairy wings and fly away. So, you don't need to keep an eye on us to avoid that from happening.

    2) We're most likely, hopefully not going to chase the butterfly that'll lead us off the cliff. So, you don't need to stick around to 'save' us.

    3) We don't need saving, especially if it's from other people's opinions. That's what our customized imaginary captain-america shields are for; to defend us and throw at people's heads when they're looking the other way.

    I know I don't sound serious about the topic, but sometimes those really unhealthy INTJs and mean ESTJs, they can really get me upset. There was an INTJ who had no idea about the myers briggs personalities, but he had a theory that people like me watches and reads too many books and movies. He said that those 'ditsy' kind of people should stay in the screens, and they should stay in the books because people who act like that are going to get themselves killed. Right there, he crushed pretty much all of my INFP beliefs; that we don't need rescuing, and that we are not ditsy. We're really not stupid, okay? Yes, we're dreamers, but aren't all geniuses dreamers? Or, something like that..?

    I don't know. All I know is that I wanted to say something to that INTJ, and I was so close to too! But, then I thought, and raising my hand to argue was like admitting I'm ditsy. He called us the ditsy people. He could have been talking about any personality, right? But, then he goes on about how curiosity is a horrible trait and getting their heads stuck in the clouds and yada yada yada. I defended the curious people as reasonable as I could, (going out of my comfort zone) but then he refers to the bible saying, "Eve was curious and look where that got her..."

    "This kid..." I'm thinking, "He doesn't even believe the bible!" That's the thing about T's... they attack you in your weak spots. I went home that day, hating myself. This particular INTJ and I have been getting into fights since God knows when. He's such a pest. I can never win with him. I feel like he rehearses exactly what he's going to say before he says it, and he always stabs me in the back. I don't hate all T's though I've had really bad experiences with most of them, especially ESTJs.

    Let's not digress, does the thought count? Like, them thinking that we're 'ditsy' people and feeling bad for us, is that fair? I blame those television shows for always making us either too much of something or too less. I mean, in heroes, the main character (can't remember his name) is like the perfect description of how I want to be seen. But, sometimes it's too much. I know I'm not like him, and I don't know if I ever will be. He seems so perfect on the screen, and people like him when watching the show, but in real life... It's people like my ESTJ brother that get all the credit...
    Necrox thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by INFP_Clarity View Post
    There was an INTJ who had no idea about the myers briggs personalities....
    How do you know he was INTJ?

    Quote Originally Posted by INFP_Clarity View Post
    That's the thing about T's... they attack you in your weak spots. I went home that day, hating myself. This particular INTJ and I have been getting into fights since God knows when. He's such a pest. I can never win with him. I feel like he rehearses exactly what he's going to say before he says it, and he always stabs me in the back. I don't hate all T's though I've had really bad experiences with most of them, especially ESTJs.
    True and not true. If this kid is an INTJ, then it may be just that he's attacking false logic. If you or anyone presents a premise that is unfounded or apparently contradictory, my INTJ brain will snap it like a twig in a hurricane. The difference is that we're not snapping you, we're snapping the argument. When faced with illogical statements, Ts generally don't stop and look at the personal meaning of the statement to YOU ( in terms of your F values), just that the structure is illogical, so we deconstruct because that is what matters to us. Until someone teaches us differently (respect the beliefs and values of others)- we attribute no inherent value to an illogical argument, because it has no intrinsic value to us. It's not a personal attack, and we don't generally rehearse, but we know our logical arguments.

    Quote Originally Posted by INFP_Clarity View Post
    Let's not digress, does the thought count? Like, them thinking that we're 'ditsy' people and feeling bad for us, is that fair? I blame those television shows for always making us either too much of something or too less. I mean, in heroes, the main character (can't remember his name) is like the perfect description of how I want to be seen. But, sometimes it's too much. I know I'm not like him, and I don't know if I ever will be. He seems so perfect on the screen, and people like him when watching the show, but in real life... It's people like my ESTJ brother that get all the credit...
    When "over 75%" of the members in American society are "S", it is not difficult to see why SP and SJ temperament values and traits are the lauded exemplars. Examine social values. Look at current culture and what the common or shared values are. Look at who is important in society and why we find them to be valued people. Use your Ne and seek the patterns. You will find them.

    Ultimately- your question seems to be "does it matter what other people think about me, and how they stereotype me?"
    Answer: No- someone's view of you can never change who you inherently are, unless you make the choice to allow this view to matter to you. Stereotypes exist for all manner of people, places and things, any division we choose to categorize, we can make into a generalization. (Gender, ethnicity, religion, education, nationality, socioeconomic group, hobbies)

    Some people relish the generalization, holding it as a glittering icon of truth and use it to define themselves further-seeking to become the generalization. Some people use the generalization as a mask to hide their true nature from everyone else in the shadows. Some people fight against the generalization and seek to prove how they are "not". Some people seek to use generalizations as a weapon to accuse others of being "prejudiced" to hide their own fears and prejudices. Some people use the generalizations to educate others about themselves and build harmony across divisions. Some people choose to ignore it all together, and walk their own way.

    What will you choose?


 

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