[INFP] Too much Self-Control?

Too much Self-Control?

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This is a discussion on Too much Self-Control? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; So I went to this girl I knows birthday party today. It was more like a get together of about ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists

    Too much Self-Control?

    So I went to this girl I knows birthday party today. It was more like a get together of about 5 girls and me, and of course I wasn't about to turn down the opportunity to have 5 girls all to myself, and I only knew 2 of the girls. The idea of meeting new girls gave me hope that maybe one of them could be interested in me. Well when one of the new girls came over she was very in your face. Super outgoing. The 4 of us (me, the 2 girls I know, and her) were on a couch and she rested her head in my lap. Well later on we were eating cake, and this was hours later. So she had picked up on how quiet I was. She walked behind me wiped icing on my lips and called me baby cakes, and I didn't do anything or even say anything, and just wiped it off while the other girls laughed, and then later on she took a whole piece of cake walked up behind me and rubbed it in my face, and that was just too much for me. It made me want to cry. Everyone laughing at me, cake all over me. It was just too much, but I still didn't do anything.

    Long story short.
    Does anyone else have trouble standing up for themselves?

  2. #2
    INFP - The Idealists

    Sometimes I have trouble standing up for myself by not speaking up when some trouble comes up or if I am in some conflict. I usually try to ignore conflict, but if someone puts their hands on me or does something similar like the cake incident with you, I either do the same thing to them, leave before I get violent, or just get violent, depending on how they meant it.

  3. #3
    INFP - The Idealists

    No. I rarely have trouble standing up for myself. I would find what she was doing as playful banter and would have a lot of fun with it....but if i found out there was any "interest" then I'd freeze up and panic.

  4. #4
    INFP - The Idealists

    sounds like she's just being playful.

    Except that last part, that's just cruel D:
    Though you're lucky, because now you have a reason to smear cake in her face :p
    Elizabeth thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFP - The Idealists

    I would have been upset too. Especially since if it was done by someone new to me. It would be different if it was a friend and I knew where he/she was coming from. I don´t find this behaviour playful. Maybe fun for her but not for you. I think SHE has too LITTLE self-control.

  6. #6
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Definately to much self control. When you think you cannot react in these kind of situations. I'd go with what nasmoe said. It's playful so just let loose and do what needs to be done. But only you know (feel don't think) in the situation what is appropriate.
    Anyway you should have probably reacted earlier if you let small things slip people (girls are people too ;) ) se how far they can go. It's automatic. And it was 5 against one so she was more cocky than if she would have been alone with you.
    I know it requires self confidence, but doing almost anything in social situations does. So treat it as a lesson learned and move on.

  7. #7
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    I used to have trouble standing up for myself but I just got fed up in the end and have now have no trouble at all standing up.

    I don't stand up over the smallest things though and I can easily ignore most stuff that happens to bother me, Though when I know someone is now just taking the piss for whatever reason I will bite. I'm playful, kind and caring but can be rough when I need to be.

  8. #8
    ENFJ - The Givers

    i stand up for myself when needed. alot of it has to do with my communist ideals. they taught me that you should alwasy resist and never give in. especially when i feel like everyone in the room is upset at someone(like when someone is being loud and stupd in class)i will call them out,it really pays off i feel like the voice of the people. i mean i don't get deffensive at the slightest thing i need to be pushed to stand up, like i was talking with my teacher about the correct way to say a word and this guy(a person i already disliked-one of the stupid kids who thinks life is a party-gives extraverts a bad name)told me i was annoying and to shut up-basically telling me to shut up for being smart and i just yelled out" i hate it every time you talk i have no once heard yuo say something useful"andd it felt good.

  9. #9

    I've never really been good at standing up for myself except when it comes to the douchebag my mom is with
    But I am ALWAYS ALWAYS there to stand up for anyone else.
    The only time you'll really see me pissed and screaming is when you fuck with someone I care about
    then it's pretty wise for you to step out of my way.
    freakydude thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I would have applied cake to face in that situation, but I'm an asshole.

    When the situation calls for it i don't have trouble standing up for myself, but jest seemed the primary theme in the scene you described. She was just trying to liven things up.

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