[INFP] INFPs and "Love at First Sight" - Page 4

INFPs and "Love at First Sight"

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This is a discussion on INFPs and "Love at First Sight" within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I've had two instant one-sided connections. Physical attraction was part of the first, stronger time. Both were in intense, kind ...

  1. #31
    INFP - The Idealists


    I've had two instant one-sided connections. Physical attraction was part of the first, stronger time. Both were in intense, kind of novel circumstances. Both people came across as trapped, misunderstood, and emotional. The first one clearly was headstrong; with the other, there were signs of that. The second person was downright weird. I never developed a real connection with person A. With person B, it took years for something possibly fleeting to happen, due to some degree of initial repulsion. Person B in fact is very stubborn, and my initial impressions of both proved correct. Just to make clear, I felt the way I did because I related strongly to them, and I immediately cared.

    I think it would be interesting to turn this around and ask if any INFPs here have been the subject of "love at first sight" or instant connection and if so, was that looks-based?
    Bago thanked this post.

  2. #32
    INFP - The Idealists

    Seems like one of those things that might happen once or twice in one's lifetime. Hasn't happened to me yet, but I'm not exactly old at 20. Love's not something you can rationalize, so I'm not one to try and rationalize why love at first sight is impossible.

  3. #33
    INFP - The Idealists

    I don't know maybe....I usually feel some type of connection or tension between the person and I. Like everything clicks....

  4. #34
    Unknown

    i usually have to tell myself to "calm down" when I meet a nice guy. Especially when he's attractive. LOL I'm usually the type that looks at personality, before looks. Do I think he is the one for me...I dunno its fairly new, however, I don't believe WOMEN have this trait because it takes us awhile to let love sink in. It seems like MEN are the ones to have this sense first.

  5. #35

    I believe in love at first sight...you just have to get lucky.

  6. #36
    Unknown

    I'm attracted to almost any woman thats decent looking!

    I get very fluttery.

    Way I see it there are three Judges in my head.
    The head.
    The heart.
    And the loins.

    You win over at least two of these, and Zing! I'm attracted to you for at least a month (sometimes longer if I know you better, or I REALLY like you! )

    I'm not saying you have to wow them either, just enough to get a positive score! (Like a 7.0 )

  7. #37

    Of course I've been drawn to someone's apprearance or vibe, but any impression after that has been supplemented by other stuff about them.

    When I was younger I would see guys I found attractive, find out he was smart, philsophical, socially charming, or artistic and fall hard for this idea of him and his big brown eyes, but I never considered it "love" except in the sentimental, artistic sense, the way I love certain songs or something-- there wasn't any intimacy there and I never ever considered those kind of connections (because sometimes they were reciprocated for a while) "real love." Anyways, if I liked a guy's vibe or appearance or art and then he made a racist joke or other undesirable aspects I quickly forgot about my initial impression.

    Then I got older and fell in love really hard and how scary it was and how it effected me kind of changed some things for me in my view of love. I didn't love this guy at first but I was interested in his thoughts. The second time I loved a guy, I tried not to love him and build in boundaries to our relationship-- I wanted sex and intimacy but I wouldn't go to "love stuff" or anything that smacked of 'attatchment' because I... was worried about the part when people come apart and people having different expectations. I wanted no expecations-- my idea of myself at the time was, "I'm just going to meet guys and flirt and have as many experiences, love, physical, whatever, as possible!" so I needed to be able to break from him and move on if need be. He told me he loved me our fourth date. Both times a guy has said they loved me they said it really really soon which really flustered me both times. I told him I would never love him xD At first I truly didn't love him, and then that progressed to me thinking I did not love him, and then one day I realized I loved him and told myself, "You can't tell him, you aren't ready to rock the boat- it's not fair cause once you say you love him he'll expect you to stick around and you'll get more and more attatched adn then you'll break his heart, and it's not fair cause you said you wouldn't and he backed off and then you changed your mind!" So that decision made, I saw him and we got intimate and then I stopped everything and he's like, "what's wrong?". I knew that I wasn't imagining or exaggerating love. I dind't think of it when he wasn't around or dream about it or fantasize-- I dind't build him up to be more handsome, unnattainable, or desirable than me-- he wasn't hard to reach. I loved him because he was gentle, present, real, funny, and loving towards me and the more I spent time with him the more I was shown all his dimensions. it was impossible for me to not come to love him. my heart felt queasy because I had not told him; I wasn't feeling that way because I wanted him to love me or because i wanted to love him, but just bceause my unconscious did love him and I needed to bring it into the air. So I said, "I need to tell you that I love you," and he says, "that's ok" and hugged me.
    And then I grew to love him more and more.

    The moral of this story is I told a guy that I would never love him and saw no chance of me loving him and then as I came to see his true self I loved him more genuinely than I've ever loved anyone.
    In other words if love at first site exists, it is not as real as the other kind.

    As I post this I begin to feel pretentious because my eight-nine month teenage relationship doesn't really qualify as standing the test of time material...
    Bago and snowbell thanked this post.

  8. #38

    Quote Originally Posted by adverseaffects View Post
    Of course I've been drawn to someone's apprearance or vibe, but any impression after that has been supplemented by other stuff about them.

    When I was younger I would see guys I found attractive, find out he was smart, philsophical, socially charming, or artistic and fall hard for this idea of him and his big brown eyes, but I never considered it "love" except in the sentimental, artistic sense, the way I love certain songs or something-- there wasn't any intimacy there and I never ever considered those kind of connections (because sometimes they were reciprocated for a while) "real love." Anyways, if I liked a guy's vibe or appearance or art and then he made a racist joke or other undesirable aspects I quickly forgot about my initial impression.

    Then I got older and fell in love really hard and how scary it was and how it effected me kind of changed some things for me in my view of love. I didn't love this guy at first but I was interested in his thoughts. The second time I loved a guy, I tried not to love him and build in boundaries to our relationship-- I wanted sex and intimacy but I wouldn't go to "love stuff" or anything that smacked of 'attatchment' because I... was worried about the part when people come apart and people having different expectations. I wanted no expecations-- my idea of myself at the time was, "I'm just going to meet guys and flirt and have as many experiences, love, physical, whatever, as possible!" so I needed to be able to break from him and move on if need be. He told me he loved me our fourth date. Both times a guy has said they loved me they said it really really soon which really flustered me both times. I told him I would never love him xD At first I truly didn't love him, and then that progressed to me thinking I did not love him, and then one day I realized I loved him and told myself, "You can't tell him, you aren't ready to rock the boat- it's not fair cause once you say you love him he'll expect you to stick around and you'll get more and more attatched adn then you'll break his heart, and it's not fair cause you said you wouldn't and he backed off and then you changed your mind!" So that decision made, I saw him and we got intimate and then I stopped everything and he's like, "what's wrong?". I knew that I wasn't imagining or exaggerating love. I dind't think of it when he wasn't around or dream about it or fantasize-- I dind't build him up to be more handsome, unnattainable, or desirable than me-- he wasn't hard to reach. I loved him because he was gentle, present, real, funny, and loving towards me and the more I spent time with him the more I was shown all his dimensions. it was impossible for me to not come to love him. my heart felt queasy because I had not told him; I wasn't feeling that way because I wanted him to love me or because i wanted to love him, but just bceause my unconscious did love him and I needed to bring it into the air. So I said, "I need to tell you that I love you," and he says, "that's ok" and hugged me.
    And then I grew to love him more and more.

    The moral of this story is I told a guy that I would never love him and saw no chance of me loving him and then as I came to see his true self I loved him more genuinely than I've ever loved anyone.
    In other words if love at first site exists, it is not as real as the other kind.

    As I post this I begin to feel pretentious because my eight-nine month teenage relationship doesn't really qualify as standing the test of time material...
    Doesn't matter. It was a beautiful story, and teenage relationships are as important IMO as those that occur later on. After all we all know the story of the high-school sweetheart. Which applies unless somehow one of the two was in high school until like 28 LOL. Maybe that's happened somewhere... Hmmm.

  9. #39

    Quote Originally Posted by snowbell View Post
    Doesn't matter. It was a beautiful story, and teenage relationships are as important IMO as those that occur later on. After all we all know the story of the high-school sweetheart. Which applies unless somehow one of the two was in high school until like 28 LOL. Maybe that's happened somewhere... Hmmm.
    Wellllll he wasn't in high school and I kinda was kinda wasn't... and he wasn't really a teenager either but just barely... hm... I was 17, he was 19 then 20..

  10. #40
    INFP - The Idealists

    I don't believe in love at first sight, I believe in infatuation at first sight. But it can make things easier =D


     
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