[INFP] INFP confession thread - Page 2535

INFP confession thread

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This is a discussion on INFP confession thread within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; would it not be very silly to think only you can solve every possible problem? would it not be very ...

  1. #25341
    INTJ - The Scientists

    would it not be very silly to think only you can solve every possible problem?
    would it not be very silly to think that because all people you know don't know the answer, the answer is not to be found?

    i mean, eh, no.*moment of incommensurability*

    Unless of course you are indoctrinated by some form of believe that states that progress in knowledge, science, ethics, morals is not possible - only what is created is and will always be in that way. If that is your belief or the belief of the people around you, then i get that you find it valuable enough to write about.

    In all other cases: welcome to the world?

  2. #25342

    Ugh...I am getting really bad at debating things lately. I just have little patience and nothing very constructive to say...and end up feeling all sarcastic and having to edit out expletives. Is it some type of passive aggression? Sarcasm? I don't think it's a very productive use of my anger.

    I couldn't even respond back to that union comment because it would have been so full of sarcasm and vitriol that I didn't feel comfortable posting it.

    I am eating a lot of cilantro lately, so perhaps it is redistributing the heavy metals into my brain and I am suffering from lead poisoning. I heard that makes you aggressive and impulsive (and maybe also excessively sarcastic).

  3. #25343
    INFP - The Idealists

    I have a confession to make. I am back in school.
    I have a lot of appreciation for what I imagine students to be able to deliver, and children to be able to enjoy. Ultimately I want to find myself, because I know I was happy, or experienced happiness some time in the past, and I can't seem to be able to build from that in the present; I thought the joy I experienced in childhood was because I was stupid (and ignoring things I don't understand, concentrated on spending my energy on curiosity, child-like activities, so I was enjoying my limited perspective on everything around me. I was stupid to believe for a long time that I didn't grow up because I kept looking for that which makes people inherently good, and that it's something wrong with me because I can't accept I have to be selfish, as they say.)
    Depending on circumstances, competition is good; to improve, or to find a more accurate way to express meaning, and define authenticity.

  4. #25344
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Wellsy View Post
    I'm not sure I understand what you mean by action/contributive parameter.
    I don't think I suggests that one has to wait, but that I don't have the answer or solution to something right now. That it's a better thought than to believe that we're destined to not solve certain problems.
    Though when I expressed this to someone else they did share the same point you seem to have about it sounding overly passive.
    To which the point certainly is fair that what one does today is important for the tomorrow where things accumulate to such outcomes.
    I referred to the fact that, in my case, I stumble on that question -when people are involved, why don't they participate in defining a certain troubling issue (minor or significant in the present, with consequences isolated to the group "friendship-kinetics" or not) and solve it. I always ask myself what individual is opposing the efforts, (because I understand everyone has certain needs, we are different, but we can come to a reasonable understanding that it is fair to leave aside subjectivity when it comes to group dynamic and concrete facts. Everybody can contribute with their perspective, and I encourage people to bring their best view on what would be their personal satisfying end result/shape/outcome, and afterwards they will understand and be at peace that the common ground finally established is reasonable, at least temporary.) I am hunted by this question, who is bringing only their critique and expressed verbal disappointment instead being less judgmental and tensed, and face that we are a team after all. Someone said, the efficiency and speed of a group, is that of the less trained/in tune. I need to ask myself that question because I stop if things are not efficient, and I get sad/depressed. : /
    So, I was thinking that, if INFPs obsess with having consideration for humans, they are mad at the fact that they ask the same question over and over, and feel overwhelmed with a sort of duty that they should identify people opposing efforts and intervene to brighten their viewpoints on existing solutions. I stumble on this, and I noticed you didn't mention anything (specifically) related to this issue, as something that is a burden, a worry, or as having this mark of sadness, acknowledging it as truth everyday. That is why I wrote "action/contributive parameter". It seems there are so many ways to look at it, that I seem to find, supposedly, different ways to express probably the same complaint. I presumed it happens naturally for INFPs to mention this "bug".

    I agree with what you said in rest, whether it's "destined" to solve or not, humanity's/bad communication(?) problems, that is if we don't destroy/bomb ourselves meanwhile.
    I wanted to add, that we shouldn't put pressure on us, because we are always getting through trial and error processes, and we make sense of who we are by looking at each other and understanding also what we are not/don't stand for. So we need each other, and we owe our good ideas to others also. It's not our work entirely, that's why we should give up the idea that one, alone, has entire responsibility for something. And it's dangerous to believe you are some kind of savior, it gets to your head. It's stupid and it's false, because we are in it together and we are not that different to the core. : /
    We should remain sane. : ))
    Last edited by mihaela_v; 09-11-2015 at 12:14 PM. Reason: grammar
    Wellsy thanked this post.

  5. #25345
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Zuflex View Post
    would it not be very silly to think only you can solve every possible problem?
    would it not be very silly to think that because all people you know don't know the answer, the answer is not to be found?

    i mean, eh, no.*moment of incommensurability*

    Unless of course you are indoctrinated by some form of believe that states that progress in knowledge, science, ethics, morals is not possible - only what is created is and will always be in that way. If that is your belief or the belief of the people around you, then i get that you find it valuable enough to write about.

    In all other cases: welcome to the world?
    If you were referring to my post... well... I was talking about good ideas for a better life, whether it's technology, or communicating and respecting each others values and human rights.

    And most importantly, to solve a problem you need to recognize it as such, and then ask the right questions. Your post has little consistency.

  6. #25346
    INTJ - The Scientists

    I've deleted it. Some communication is useless.

  7. #25347

    Does it make sense to get mad at yourself for not being/feeling more happy and fulfilled? It is like I want to smack myself in the face. But, being a 2, it makes sense, as it usually creates feelings of guilt inside of me when i'm not feeling as happy or fulfilled with life, because I ought to be. Ugh, I should start to write things down properly on a piece of paper and see what happens from there ...
    sittapygmaea, Zuflex and Rala thanked this post.

  8. #25348
    ISTP

    Quote Originally Posted by nicoloco90 View Post
    Does it make sense to get mad at yourself for not being/feeling more happy and fulfilled? It is like I want to smack myself in the face. But, being a 2, it makes sense, as it usually creates feelings of guilt inside of me when i'm not feeling as happy or fulfilled with life, because I ought to be. Ugh, I should start to write things down properly on a piece of paper and see what happens from there ...
    It does make sense to me. :P It's just like when I get mad at myself when I realize I blew up a chance of someone loving me.
    nicoloco90 thanked this post.

  9. #25349

    Quote Originally Posted by mihaela_v View Post
     
    I referred to the fact that, in my case, I stumble on that question -when people are involved, why don't they participate in defining a certain troubling issue (minor or significant in the present, with consequences isolated to the group "friendship-kinetics" or not) and solve it. I always ask myself what individual is opposing the efforts, (because I understand everyone has certain needs, we are different, but we can come to a reasonable understanding that it is fair to leave aside subjectivity when it comes to group dynamic and concrete facts. Everybody can contribute with their perspective, and I encourage people to bring their best view on what would be their personal satisfying end result/shape/outcome, and afterwards they will understand and be at peace that the common ground finally established is reasonable, at least temporary.) I am hunted by this question, who is bringing only their critique and expressed verbal disappointment instead being less judgmental and tensed, and face that we are a team after all. Someone said, the efficiency and speed of a group, is that of the less trained/in tune. I need to ask myself that question because I stop if things are not efficient, and I get sad/depressed. : /
    So, I was thinking that, if INFPs obsess with having consideration for humans, they are mad at the fact that they ask the same question over and over, and feel overwhelmed with a sort of duty that they should identify people opposing efforts and intervene to brighten their viewpoints on existing solutions. I stumble on this, and I noticed you didn't mention anything (specifically) related to this issue, as something that is a burden, a worry, or as having this mark of sadness, acknowledging it as truth everyday. That is why I wrote "action/contributive parameter". It seems there are so many ways to look at it, that I seem to find, supposedly, different ways to express probably the same complaint. I presumed it happens naturally for INFPs to mention this "bug".

    I agree with what you said in rest, whether it's "destined" to solve or not, humanity's/bad communication(?) problems, that is if we don't destroy/bomb ourselves meanwhile.
    I wanted to add, that we shouldn't put pressure on us, because we are always getting through trial and error processes, and we make sense of who we are by looking at each other and understanding also what we are not/don't stand for. So we need each other, and we owe our good ideas to others also. It's not our work entirely, that's why we should give up the idea that one, alone, has entire responsibility for something. And it's dangerous to believe you are some kind of savior, it gets to your head. It's stupid and it's false, because we are in it together and we are not that different to the core. : /
    We should remain sane. : ))
    I think it's because some of the problems I was thinking of were beyond solutions I think readily available to me.
    Like I was thinking about how one could isolate the causal factors of distress, how could I say very clearly link a individuals distress as being due to financial issues and not have it doubted by other things in their life.
    This kind of came up as a result of considering expert witness testimonies in which psychologists might try and detail the possible effects of something on a person and whether after an assessment someone meet criteria. But then imagine prosecution diminishing this by questioning ambiguities on what caused the distress. Sometimes it's clear because someone experienced a clearly traumatic event but with something like stress it's a bit harder as everyone's stressed by things to varying degrees.
    Even people's judgement for what caused their emotions is subject to doubt because people have physical sensations and then make cognitive appraisals which are often based on the context.

    Then also thinking of a thing a feminist political philosopher wrote about how they won't likely see gender abolished and that no one should sacrifice their mental health and well being entirely to be considered helpful to the cause, but for the present they can still do their bit to try and change things on their minor level of influence.
    But it certainly is an issue in which I am clearly more enthralled by an idea and not necessarily its real world effects which makes for a self absorbed inactive sap, drifting rather than driving one's own life.

    I probably didn't express in this but another driving thought behind the post was also something somewhat inspired by some quote by Albert Bandura I think it was. That a person may not necessarily succeed because they believe they can do something, but they almost assuredly fail if they don't believe they can. I was kind of thinking that people who think somethings are impossible often are motivated to want to change things and are passive to problems because they can't imagine an improved reality. That if everything is impossible, then why try and change difficult problems? It's often that they don't think much about it and they exaggerate things only focusing on extremes and don't consider the little victories.
    A bit like looking at a big assignment where they're overwhelmed by its size where better way is to fragment it and focus on smaller goals and soon enough the many successes amount to a larger whole. Though assignments aren't really impossible though some probably feel like they are when they're low on time till due date probably XD
    MeltedSorbet, ATLeow and sittapygmaea thanked this post.

  10. #25350
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Wellsy View Post
    I probably didn't express in this but another driving thought behind the post was also something somewhat inspired by some quote by Albert Bandura I think it was. That a person may not necessarily succeed because they believe they can do something, but they almost assuredly fail if they don't believe they can.
    (this caught my attention first)
    It's something very interesting, the capability to believe, and considering that, what is the type of result.
    It's a thing that it's on my mind for a very long time, it's not that I don't believe an idea is not going to work/meet the standards of the expected result (or like a complex structure of an aparatus won't function), but, I think this happens: I am almost convinced that I will not have the feeling that it's right/different/new/new for my perceiving (that will be useful in that certain point of my/one's intellectual maturity), something like that makes me pessimistic and I don't want to start doing anything.
    You wrote: "but they almost assuredly fail if they don't believe they can", and I think, because of the same reason it is happening for me, that happens - it's called (auto-) sabotage. Our subconscious (if you are considering this hypothesis often, 'cause I am not currently, but maybe I should. hm...), fights it, because we won't get into working on something that we want to give up later, because it doesn't bring joy/dopamine, and maybe, we acknowledge also that someone who we don't appreciate as an authority figure is constricting our boundaries on our freedom (to choose, experiment, express) so we will not conform! says subconscious, and the mind, says: "if parents/or authority -we vaguely and rapidly recall- always chose well for us and our safety/assuring financial income, and maybe we are in their debt as they subliminally remember us, let's "rationalize for" more reasons why the right choice is do what they ask (and do the asking-questions homework in private, in the proximate future)".

    Well, in young ages we experience it as discomfort, but later, we learn to define what's in the mix of emotions that we call "discomfort", and they -looking at it as part of a dynamic process, which they are- are called triggers, or emotional chords (the basic human emotions). Those who experienced the discomfort considering their constricted freedom, will anticipate and fear, and fight it more, or, their subconscious will be very vigil in the day, and in the night bringing you nightmares if you don't get the message. : ) It's an example of something that is absorbed/internalized associating concepts, in the subconscious level (where you don't question any more, it runs by default, until it makes a mess in your reality, making consequent/same bad choices).
    *[That is why, I have this theory, and I heard it somewhere else and am deeply thankful, that we are objectifying and get a sense of owning something so we can keep it (for as much as we want/like). So, I think: children are brought to this world through the mother's organism -because it's conceived to bare a child- of course, and all humans, like all living beings, belong to nature. So I question if we make our own destiny (we do determine our consequences and quality of life in a world with rules made by humans for humans, which is partly a good thing) or we are organisms with some simple purpose or simple "dance" rules (like dna fragments in mitosis of a cell), who knows.
    And so, we objectify ourselves, calling ourselves in nominative pronouns (I, you, him, hers, mine, etc), and then defining ourselves as being: girl, boy, crazy, different, having a genetic disease from the moment of conceiving so we can't get rid of it -so it makes me me- and present this truth to some people and they perceive it as (social) stigma, etc. This happens to owning something too, or having a certain job moreover if it's socially admired, we define ourselves by it, [besides the initial use-to catalogue our every social exterior identity/expertise and make communication more specific (and truthful and efficient).]]
    I wanted to underline that if emotions are triggers, like in subconscious, we also make associations consciously, that can be incorrect/(not properly evaluated at that level, or quantity of knowledge and maturity of the intellect). In the end we ask, am I making the right choice?
    Or for me, why do I keep insisting to have that feeling as a result? What makes a nirvana type of feeling to feel like certitude? (or a certitude of the best/good enough outcome.) because emotions are certainly not mathematics. Or this much we are able to state we know and calculate/prove, so far.
    Wellsy thanked this post.


     

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