[INFP] "drama" at work

"drama" at work

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  • 2 Post By bigstupidgrin
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  • 3 Post By InspectorDoohickey

This is a discussion on "drama" at work within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; So basically sometimes I feel people are really arbitrary in how they evaluate others. Sometimes at work I feel people ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists

    "drama" at work

    So basically sometimes I feel people are really arbitrary in how they evaluate others.
    Sometimes at work I feel people are condescending or cruel for no reason.

    There is someone I used to be friendly towards who totally revered and acts like I'm really dumb, avoids me, is silent to me, sometimes demanding and straight up RUDE to me in front of others, and went so far as to unfriend me on facebook. And I never did anything to her, not once.

    Then there is a guy I flirted with once and was friendly with, and he kind of told me he wasn't sure if he was interested when I came onto him physically and that we should just be friends because he barely knew me, and now he's borderline demeaning to me all the time, like if I talk to him I know he thinks I'm coming onto him so he'll subtly mock me or be sarcastic, and I'll be doing my job as best as I can, and if an order is difficult he'll blame me or he'll order me around/criticize me for things that literally aren't my fault.

    It's stressful feeling people dislike you for no reason, so I combat it with acting like it doesn't matter and talking to them like I do everyone else and it if bothers them it's their problem. But I was talking to the guy today and my co-worker who I looked really uncomfortable during and the guy who is rude to me turned away and my co-worker said it looks like I flirt with him...

    I don't know, it's stressful to feel you can't talk to others. If I talk to this person or attempt to just TALK it looks flirty or he'll turn away from me-- some one decided that you weren't good enough to talk to or they read intention into you that isn't there. Or someone takes little clumisiness in speaking or just talking to make small talk.. normally I don't worry what othes think of me at because generally if people like you they'll treat the same behavior as ok tht sone someone who doesn't like you will find a way to make it seem bad. But then I get scared that people who used to like me will turn against me and find me trying to talk to them annoying and exclude me, and make me trying to join in a weird thing. It's unpleasant to anaylize such things or think the negative things others think of you b/c it seems there's nothing anyone can do about it... I don't want to feel something is wrong with me or I ws being so awkward that others decided to exclude me, that mybe there was a logic to their behavior, or fearful it'll happen all over and I can't control it.


    But I guess I just wanted to share my thoughts and maybe get some comfort.



  2. #2

    Reminds me of my time working at cubicle farms. It can turn into the absolutely worst version of high school with the rumors and drama. People get into cliques and judge others they've barely talked to thanks to reputations. People are trying to play office politics, or reject everything and be anti-social. My experience was mostly okay because I was always the neutral but yeah, drama's not too fun.

    How many people work where you do? Can you avoid these people for a while?

  3. #3
    INFP - The Idealists

    Office culture, bleargh. People trying to prove how professional they are by bitching and moaning about other people's supposed lack of professionalism, which is really distracting and unprofessional when you think about it. But if someone decides it's in their best interests not to think, they usually won't :P

    Two closed-minded individuals you can ignore. Sounds like they're projecting quite a bit, and it says more about them than it does about you. If their poison spreads, you're dealing with a hive mind; time to decide how bad you really want this particular job.
    sogood thanked this post.

  4. #4
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    It wasn't easy, but I've come to learn that You need to put people like that in their place, in a harsh way. Set the recorded straight, and don't just let them treat you any kind of way.
    sogood, Sangoire and zeBunnyQueen thanked this post.

  5. #5

    Great point @Amaru ... although ot can be hard and scary to do, I find that it is best to take the person aside and work out my issues with them head on.

    I read a great book, Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson that helped me to frame it all in "corporate-speak".

    Once I realised that corporate/office-speak is almost another language things got a lot easier for me because I was then able to use my creative side to plan out variances in conversations.


     

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