[INFP] Asexual INFPs

Asexual INFPs

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This is a discussion on Asexual INFPs within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I was doing some random reading and came across this link . Basically this thread from AVEN explores the idea ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists

    Asexual INFPs

    I was doing some random reading and came across this link. Basically this thread from AVEN explores the idea that many asexuals are actually INFPs. They did a poll on their website, and I think many of the asexuals there are actually INFPs, INTPs and INTJs. (Although I think for the different personality types, there are markedly different reasons and causes for their asexuality.)

    Just wanted to ask around if any of you guys or anyone you know fall into the category of asexuality. It doesn't really mean you have a non-existent sex drive (i.e. you can still get horny); it just means you have no desire to act out sexually with another person.

    Well I'm no priest myself (heh), and I've had my fair share of experience with women, but I think the older i get, the more I realize I am way more interested in knowing a person than making a sexual connection with him/her. I just posted this on the confessions thread yesterday, but I actually rejected sex from two women while I was in Thailand. They ended up in my hotel room but all i wanted to do was to talk to them. (It's a long and weird story so I shan't go there again). Basically it led me to wonder if I may really be asexual after all.

    Or maybe I'm just weird. heh. Aren't we all.

  2. #2
    INFP - The Idealists

    I express sexuality freely and tend to have a very high drive, and sex is a very important factor in a romantic relationship to me. Hell, I could be described as pansexual, which is probably the approximate opposite of what you describe asexuality as being. In fact, I tend to bring out the sexual side of people who think of themselves as asexual or "not very sexual" human beings. I'm like a sex fairy.

    Generally, I think you will find in real life and these forums, INFPs tend to be very sexual creatures, although there is also a faction that tend to have extremely puritanical/classically romantic views on the matter of sexuality.

    EDIT: My subjects were not all agreeing with my verbs. I made them play nice.

  3. #3
    INFP - The Idealists

    Yeah, I think I might actually be asexual. I've talked to my friends about my views on sex and we've all come to the conclusion that I am. I mean, I'd have sex if my partner wanted me to but if he never asked for it I'd be perfectly fine not having sex. It just grosses/creeps me out for some reason and it makes me really uncomfortable.
    Oryx, Nymma, mondster and 4 others thanked this post.

  4. #4

    I might be, I don't know.

    Sexuality in general has always baffled me.

  5. #5
    INFP - The Idealists

    Yeah, see this is why I think I may be asexual. I can get seriously turned on but - I have never been sexually attracted to anyone in my life and doing something with someone else ... doesn't exactly inspire me.

    I don't know, may be I need more life experience/need to meet more people
    BlissfulDreams, lirica and Kriash thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFP - The Idealists

    I want sex, but I am EXTREMELY picky about the conditions under which I will have it.

    If those conditions are not all met, I have no problem going without sex for as long as necessary.

    I think as long as the absence of sex didn't make me feel unloved or rejected by my partner, and as long as we had other forms of physical contact that adequately expressed the depth of our unique intimate bond, I would probably be okay without sex.

    However, there are only a few scenarios in which I can imagine not feeling rejected by a partner's unwillingness to have sex after we have agreed to be committed to each other for life. If he were physically disabled in a way that made it impossible, I would know that it wasn't anything personal, and we would find other ways of establishing the same kind of bond. If he were a virgin who wanted to remain that way for life because of his spiritual beliefs, I wouldn't violate his values. If he had been sexually abused or had some kind of sex-related phobia, I would respect his boundaries.

    Preferably, if a life-partner were to deny me sex, it wouldn't just be a matter of choice. If he merely lacked any kind of sex drive at all, I would probably feel rejected and lonely, because I would worry that it came from a lack of emotional attraction. I would probably consider him cold, detached, or unaffectionate. If he just didn't find me sexually attractive, I would feel neglected, and would wonder if it was for superficial reasons (which would be unacceptable to me), or because he didn't feel any love for me (which would also be unacceptable).

    LadyJava and mondster thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFP - The Idealists

    While my feelings of sexuality and the desire to act on those feelings, or a complete lack there-of will vary greatly depending on any number of variables, including my self-confidence level for the day. I'd like to offer another take on this subject; mostly because I could see others describing me as a-sexual (especially if I have yet to allow them entry into my castle)

    That being said. Between the threads I have read and/or contributed to, and what I see when I browse through the thread history looking for further insight; I've noticed that a true majority of INFP specific threads are relating to:
    Ideal partners/Soul mates
    General topics in romance
    When/if you've lost your virginity
    How to express interest in someone or respond to another's interest in them
    And an 11 page thread (which I've read) entitled : "How do you reconcile the fact, most people aren't attracted to you?"
    (To highlight a few)

    Based on this I would like to propose that perhaps for some, our constant search for idealism, romance, and permanence; coupled with a general lack of reciprocated interest, or an unsureness in properly expressing our feelings for another is being misconstrued as a-sexuality. (I believe I fall into this category) If you add to this the fact that a 100% introverted person will most likely avoid unfamiliar social events; thereby greatly lowering their chances of meeting someone new, you are left (from an outside perspective) with what appears to be a very "a" or even completely non-sexual person.

    Another possibility, though I should think this to relate to a much smaller group of people, would be that some are simply so deeply involved in their introspective journey of self that they fail to afford more attention than is absolutely necessary to desires of the flesh; perhaps even repressing their own through over-introversion and a deep rooted fear of rejection. (Been there, done that)

    As a side-note : I would be an all around much more sexual person (in every sense) were I able to find a woman with the sexual personality I lust for.

    After-thought : I wanted to quickly make note, free of presumptions, that an INFP has the capacity to create, build, and maintain an incomprehensible amount of love within their mind (whether or not it has been expressed, implicitly or explicitly, in part or in whole...or sometimes even truly exists in the "real" world)
    snail, LadyJava, Pyroscope and 5 others thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INFP - The Idealists

    Ya that does not apply to me =/ I'm highly sexual actually and my views on sex is not classically romantic.

  9. #9
    INFP - The Idealists

    I just recently said this in another post but I'll repeat.

    I was beginning to think I was asexual. I was actually in bed with a girl trying to hold back the tears telling her that I was asexual. Next thing I knew I was no longer a virgin. I think it's very unlikely that many of us are asexual, we just need the right place and time. And many of us, my self included, are so ridiculously picky it's really rare we actually find ourselves in situations where we are feeling sexual. I mean maybe it's my imagination, but if I could find a girl that got me the way I can understand certain people, the sex would be AMAZING.
    iinnffpp, Samardon, brendog10 and 1 others thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFP - The Idealists

    I think we are most of the time...
    Glassland thanked this post.

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