[INFP] People won't talk to me during track?

People won't talk to me during track?

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This is a discussion on People won't talk to me during track? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I joined my school's Varsity Track and Field team (in our school team, no one gets cut) with only one ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality

    People won't talk to me during track?

    I joined my school's Varsity Track and Field team (in our school team, no one gets cut) with only one friend, who eventually left. For a week or two now, I've been by myself and have been feeling like crap. It's been really hard to talk to people because everyone already has their own group of friends, and I don't want to just barge in. One of my close friends, who was going to do it but gave it up for dance, told me to be more gregarious (which is easy for her because she's so extroverted) and to start conversations and stuff.

    So I tried that today, failing every time. The first time, I said hi to an acquaintance, who just looked at me, barely smiling. Later, one of my childhood friends who I've lost contact with and is a year younger, was talking to one of her friends and was like, "I want to do a cartwheel! I'll only do it if you do it with me _____!" Because we did gymnastics together when we were younger, I tried playfully telling her I'd do a cartwheel with her. At first I thought she didn't hear me, so I repeated it again, but she wouldn't even look at me, even though I was standing right next to her. The junior, who's in one of my classes, noticed this and talked to me a little before. I think she got the impression that I was a loser, thus she shouldn't talk to me. I asked her three times which leg we were supposed to jump with while trying our triple jump, and she obviously ignored me.

    It feels like crap.
    under skies and Teigue thanked this post.

  2. #2

    First, I would just like to commend you for being brave enough to talk to some different people in the first place. I understand how difficult that can be.

    The only suggestion I can think of is to keep trying. Perhaps the people you approached are reserved around new people (most are, I think, regardless of E/I), or maybe they're just jerks. It happens. People either need time, or you're approaching the wrong people. Just be casual and slowly interact a little more with various others on your team. It may take some time--it takes me a really long time to find the right social "fit" wherever I go--but I believe if you stay as friendly as you are and stay genuine that you'll meet some great people.

  3. #3
    INFP - The Idealists

    I hated most my team back in HS

  4. #4
    INFP - The Idealists

    Just try and do small actions. Or just show some emotions whenever all of you watched someone on the field, or listening to your coach etc. Also, always present yourself and say "hi". I mean, do small talks to break small pieces of ice first? Over time, group dynamics take over, and you will start to gel more.

    I remember the first time that I went to a salsa club on my own, I was SO scared. However, I was SO into the dance itself, I just ignored the people and really focus on the dance, and listening to the teachers and then speaking to my partner about the steps and the dynamics and so forth. Slowly, you will see who is who. Who are the ones that are into the sport, and who are the ones that is there for the socialising. Then you know and can fit in slowly ?

    Don't worry too much about the people first. Start with the sport and focus on that. You will slowly attract attention too. I always tend to speak to the shy people first, and then it always expands on that.
    Goosefish thanked this post.

  5. #5

    Try to remain upbeat, you're easier to read that way and become far more approachable. (INFPs in general tend to have snobbish demeanor, although we're the furthest from it)

    2nd is trying recognition through performance. Stand out by practicing harder for track and doing better :D.

    3rd - compliment people often.

    Finally, do everything I mentioned above and -expect- it to not work whatsoever, but do it anyways. If things work out, great! If not, then that means they have their own set of issues, you're perfectly fine.
    Goosefish thanked this post.


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