[INFP] Trouble expressing yourself verbally?

Trouble expressing yourself verbally?

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This is a discussion on Trouble expressing yourself verbally? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I'm not sure if it's an infp thing or not, but i always have trouble expressing myself and putting my ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists

    Trouble expressing yourself verbally?

    I'm not sure if it's an infp thing or not, but i always have trouble expressing myself and putting my thoughts into eloquent, well-thought out sentences. people get really annoyed when I can't do this or when i take a really long time to describe how im feeling. mostly it's frustrating because i worry that people think im dumb. it's just that my mind is so cluttered sometimes that i can't find the right words in that moment because im focusing so much on my feelings and a million things related to the topic at the same time. and also, when im in the middle of talking to someone, i realize that im having trouble with my speech, which makes me more nervous, and the person becomes more impatient.
    and i have issues explaining the simplest concepts to people. sometimes, even if i'm an expert on the concept, i still struggle explaining it. I want them to understand how i feel about the issue so much but don't know how and stumble along the way.
    i feel so out of place when others are talking in such an intellectual manner, and i know what i have to say is just as deep but it doesnt come out right.

    it this a infp thing and is it normal? do any of you guys experience this?
    madisonthestrange, Jingo, ii V I and 12 others thanked this post.

  2. #2
    INFP - The Idealists

    Yea. I just got finished with a 3 hour long IQ test, and sometimes, people just want simple answers, lol. Like, by simple, I mean they don't want to think. So our and their idea of "justice," are probably completely different, for example, at least in some cases.

  3. #3
    INFP - The Idealists

    I think I know what you mean... on one hand, I tend to express myself better in writing, but on another, it's always hard to cover everything..i often find myself thinking, "i should have added" this or that. and i read back over it and think, "that wasn't the totality of what I was trying to express". As a type that wants to be understood, that's difficult.
    caffeine, under skies, Pachacutie and 1 others thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFP - The Idealists

    yeah, i'm always having trouble condensing what I want to say. so when im speaking to someone, i have this long, detailed essay in my head but I try to shorten in my mind before i say it. but the words come out jumbled together
    under skies and OpRise thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Me too. I had huge trouble with speeches during high school, which was weird because I could participate in vocal debates just fine, but I was never able to go up in front of a bunch of people about a topic I'm not interested in and speak in front of the crowd.

  6. #6
    INFP - The Idealists

    I never feel I express myself well when speaking, unless I've had a chance beforehand to work out what I'm going to say.
    under skies, cheezey and OpRise thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFP - The Idealists

    It depends on who I'm talking to. If there are lots of people present, especially people I don't know well then I tend to be really awkward. With my family and close friends I feel like I'm pretty good at expressing myself in speaking, but I always feel more clear in writing. I've noticed that there are different expectations verbally than written, and it can feel awkward to use 'big words' in conversation, as well as to use long complicated sentenses. When writing it's easier to re-arrange my rambling thoughts as well into more coherent sections, and I think it may be harder for people to follow the convoluted thought process when they can't glance a few sentences back from time to time.

    It also seems to depend on the listener. Sometimes even if I really am expressing myself clearly, if the person listening isn't following, or isn't sending the right cues it can make me feel like I don't make sense, and then I scramble around awkwardly to re-word things. It seems like a lot of my sense of clarity in speech is closely related to catching the audience in the right frame of mind, in the right moment.
    refugee, under skies, cheezey and 2 others thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INFP - The Idealists

    I've found this to be a case of confidence. When I'm around people I'm comfortable with I can talk freely and eloquently. When I'm with new people or people who make me feel uneasy, I tend to stammer and jumble my thoughts together. I also worry that people are going to think I'm stupid because of my difficulty with expression at times. I've learned to just breathe and think things through more carefully before I start speaking. That seems to help a bit.
    madisonthestrange, minkaybell, cheezey and 1 others thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INFP - The Idealists

    Hell, yeah. I'm forever thinking ''no, really, it actually does make sense in my head I swear, I swear...''
    Jingo and cheezey thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFP - The Idealists

    I would agree with you to a certain extent. Certainly when put on the spot, and asked serious questions, I start to choke on my words. I've always seemed to be more comfortable as the asker - pursueding other people to share their emotions with me. I guess that's because INFPs are easy to trust - and pride themselves on that fact. We make better listeners than conversationalists.

    It might just be me; but I've always found comfort in metaphors and symbolism. Essentially, saying things that make other people feel as though I'm speaking in riddles.

    I convey my emotions through poetry quite easily too - so it's not a matter of having a "problem with words" persay... More a problem with vocalising my thoughts. My style of writing is quite abstract and hard for other people to fully comprehend unless they read through a poem several times. I don't know why, but I've just always liked that idea.

    I hate being misunderstood.

    But I hope nobody ever fully understands me either. Not when I don't fully understand me.
    caffeine, ii V I, zeekzeek and 3 others thanked this post.

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