[INFP] </3

</3

Hello Guest! Sign up to join the discussion below...
Results 1 to 9 of 9
Thank Tree23Thanks
  • 1 Post By laurenrae08
  • 7 Post By LittleHawk
  • 5 Post By Roze
  • 4 Post By Mulberries
  • 3 Post By under skies
  • 3 Post By Whynd

This is a discussion on </3 within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I need to find someone else in order to get over my ex. I'm sitting here crying over stupid things ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists

    </3

    I need to find someone else in order to get over my ex. I'm sitting here crying over stupid things like him untagging photos of us on facebook. I shouldn't get upset over things like that... but I am. Where do you suggest to find a special someone? The bar scene isn't in my best interest and that's the only place I can think of right now.
    :(
    Somniorum thanked this post.



  2. #2
    Unknown Personality

    I'd like to think if I meet somebody they'd love me for who I am and not because they're on the rebound..

    Just my thoughts; But I don't think it would be special or fair to you or a potential partner to get together yet. Let yourself grieve, it's natural and there's nothing on Earth wrong with it.

  3. #3
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by LittleHawk View Post
    I'd like to think if I meet somebody they'd love me for who I am and not because they're trying to get somebody else out of my head...

    Just a thought; But I don't think it would be special or fair to you or a potential partner to get together yet. Let yourself grieve, it's natural and there's nothing on Earth wrong with it.
    My exact thoughts: You don't need someone to fill that empty void, not yet. To say it bluntly, you need time, time to get over your previous relationship, or else you're going to wind up dating with a strained heart that hasn't parted from your ex. It's a potential setup for disaster and I'm sure everyone wants the best for you (:

    Learn from your experience and use that as a stepping stone to improve yourself for your next significant other. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
    LittleHawk, Sliver, Whynd and 2 others thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFP - The Idealists

    I would not recommend going out and looking for someone just yet. If this is just a newly ended relationship, then you need time to recover before you can fully invest in a new relationship. Getting involved with someone now is not fair on the other person and rebound relationships have a tendency not to last. I understand you're in pain and you're looking for someone else to fill the place of your ex, but it's probably too soon. You should just be good to yourself, cry when you need to, spend time with friends/family and then think about dating in a couple of months.
    Whynd, under skies, Roze and 1 others thanked this post.

  5. #5

    To echo others' posts, I wouldn't recommend at all that you try to fill any kind of void with a new person, and I wouldn't recommend that you start dating again right away. I personally don't think a person is in proper shape for a relationship until they can be content on their own.


    I'm sorry to hear about your break-up. I can imagine that you must be feeling like things might never get better, but with time, I think things will work themselves out. You will get over your ex, and you may just find someone a thousand times better for you.
    Whynd, Roze and Mulberries thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by under skies View Post
    To echo others' posts, I wouldn't recommend at all that you try to fill any kind of void with a new person, and I wouldn't recommend that you start dating again right away. I personally don't think a person is in proper shape for a relationship until they can be content on their own.


    I'm sorry to hear about your break-up. I can imagine that you must be feeling like things might never get better, but with time, I think things will work themselves out. You will get over your ex, and you may just find someone a thousand times better for you.
    I couldn't agree more... If you need to fill the void, fill it with the re-discovery of yourself..as you are and as you should be. Don't look to another person to fill any void you have because that's nothing more than putting a bandaid on the problem...broken hearts need more than bandaids to heal. Have a good cry on the shoulder of a trusted family member or friend, let them comfort you... Grieve for the loss and let your spirit cleanse itself before you burden it with another relationship... heal and be happy again before you get into another relationship or all you'll be able to bring to the relationship is the sadness of your loss and a false sense of love...

    Sorry to be so blunt, but I can't think of another more gentle way to put it...
    Mulberries, under skies and Roze thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFP - The Idealists

    No new info here... just wanted to reinforce what under skies said. From your relationship, take the most intense good feelings you ever felt and sort of "quantify" it and put it onto a graph.. like a bar graph. Now knowing that he is not the one for you, imagine having another bar next to it that basically represents the intensity of good feelings you can have from the person who IS right for you. This bar will dwarf the bar representing your intense-good-feelings bar from your previous relationship a hundred times over (and maybe even more than that).

    I'm not sure that there any words we can say to cheer you up, but everyone has given really great advice so far... we all want the best for you. You have to understand, though, that the relationship ending had nothing to do with you having any kind of imperfection. As humans, we all have imperfections. Instead, understand that the relationship ended because we are like jig saw puzzles, and sometimes pieces seem like they're supposed to fit together, and they just don't. It's not that there's anything wrong with you, and there's nothing wrong with your partner.. but if the fit isn't there, it's best to move on and go separate paths so you can both find your "fit".

    So try your best to smile and know that we all have your back here! :)

  8. #8
    INFJ

    I'm also in agreement with what everyone else has said. Right now isn't the time to go looking. I suggest using the time to re-discover yourself. It may not be an easy time, especially at first. Spend time with friends. If you were to start seeing someone new now it wouldn't be fair to either you or them. You woud just be with them on the rebound. Give yourself time to grieve the loss of your past relationship. Seek solace and strength from your spiritual path if you follow one.

  9. #9
    INFP - The Idealists

    I'm going to disagree a bit here and say that while you aren't ready to start dating someone new, you should look around and talk to people. My girlfriend broke up with me over two months ago, and I was distraught. I didn't know what to do, and I wasn't getting any better. I ended up giving this girl a ride somewhere, and since then she fills that void. Although we don't date and probably won't, she's just someone to talk to. Someone I can rely on to listen to me, and I can listen to her. If anything, that can help fill the void. It really sped up the recovery process, and though I'm not at 100%, I'm definitely way closer than I was.


     

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:23 AM.
Information provided on the site is meant to complement and not replace any advice or information from a health professional.
© 2014 PersonalityCafe
 

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0