[INFP] I'm Broke made weird choices

I'm Broke made weird choices

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This is a discussion on I'm Broke made weird choices within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I quit my job because we got lots of bullies teaming up and just a bad work environment of people ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists

    I'm Broke made weird choices

    I quit my job because we got lots of bullies teaming up and just a bad work environment of people finger-poining at eachother and not looking at themselves. I put up with it for a long time due to those I respect but in the end it was a food service job to help me pay for more college and well anyways I decided I didn't need that.

    But once I quit I found myself enjoying my freedom and figured I had more time to look for work with my savings and minimal expenses.

    Well that was definitely true but that "more time" thinking error kept stretching out to avoid the stress and anxiety of looking for work. Now I have no money for gas, my boyfriend's buying me groceries, and I owe debts to Comcast ect.

    Part of me knew I was capable of finding work but I wanted a better job than the one I had, but at the same time had anxiety about the entire situation, how do I find one, interviews, getting turned down. I wasn't motivated by need cause I had money so somehow I managed to just exit out of the problem by watching TV or going to the lake ect.

    Anyways anyone else find themselves making really odd choices like this despite being a college educated adult or smart haha

    I'm so embarrassed to tell my friends and family stuff like "can you buy my groceries" or no I can't visit you I have no gas money or OMG I AM SCREWED SOMEONE LOAN ME MONEY EVNE THOUGH I DID THIS TO MYSELF. Because I know it's my fault and I don't see why someone would loan me money without resenting or distrusting me I am just not asking for help which is abizarre thing to do to. But that's my personality. Anyways, instead of asking for the money I need for internet which is pretty important for getting a job or money for a bus pass or gas, I'm trying to earn money quick through surveys online haha.

    Anyone else have these weird personality quirks? Is it a symptom of anxiety? I'm not too worried about it bc even though I don't like I do this I know it's a choice and sometimes my brain gets hi-jacked by thinking errors or fleeing anxiety and once shit gets real I always get my shit together... but I know that lots of people are like that. Procrastination and shitty choices are pretty common.

    Thoughts??

    Also:
    know any websites I can get money from quickly thanks. I can't donate blood cause I weigh 110 lbs
    WickerDeer and CircusCat thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INFP - The Idealists

    Like my internet could get shut off any moment now and yet this is what I'm doing.. I need to leave.. wtf

  3. #3

    Quote Originally Posted by sogood View Post
    I quit my job because we got lots of bullies teaming up and just a bad work environment of people finger-poining at eachother and not looking at themselves. I put up with it for a long time due to those I respect but in the end it was a food service job to help me pay for more college and well anyways I decided I didn't need that.

    But once I quit I found myself enjoying my freedom and figured I had more time to look for work with my savings and minimal expenses.

    Well that was definitely true but that "more time" thinking error kept stretching out to avoid the stress and anxiety of looking for work. Now I have no money for gas, my boyfriend's buying me groceries, and I owe debts to Comcast ect.

    Part of me knew I was capable of finding work but I wanted a better job than the one I had, but at the same time had anxiety about the entire situation, how do I find one, interviews, getting turned down. I wasn't motivated by need cause I had money so somehow I managed to just exit out of the problem by watching TV or going to the lake ect.

    Anyways anyone else find themselves making really odd choices like this despite being a college educated adult or smart haha

    I'm so embarrassed to tell my friends and family stuff like "can you buy my groceries" or no I can't visit you I have no gas money or OMG I AM SCREWED SOMEONE LOAN ME MONEY EVNE THOUGH I DID THIS TO MYSELF. Because I know it's my fault and I don't see why someone would loan me money without resenting or distrusting me I am just not asking for help which is abizarre thing to do to. But that's my personality. Anyways, instead of asking for the money I need for internet which is pretty important for getting a job or money for a bus pass or gas, I'm trying to earn money quick through surveys online haha.

    Anyone else have these weird personality quirks? Is it a symptom of anxiety? I'm not too worried about it bc even though I don't like I do this I know it's a choice and sometimes my brain gets hi-jacked by thinking errors or fleeing anxiety and once shit gets real I always get my shit together... but I know that lots of people are like that. Procrastination and shitty choices are pretty common.

    Thoughts??

    Also:
    know any websites I can get money from quickly thanks. I can't donate blood cause I weigh 110 lbs
    Sounds like some sort of pathology. You probably should stay under care of your parents until you get it sorted out through therapy or something like that. Better call them now.
    Verity3 thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar View Post
    Sounds like some sort of pathology. You probably should stay under care of your parents until you get it sorted out through therapy or something like that. Better call them now.

    lol nah I don't think so

  5. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by sogood View Post
    lol nah I don't think so
    Irresponsible behaviour + refusal to ask for help despite bad consequences. Pretty pathological.

    Sounds like you need something like this:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognit...vioral_therapy

  6. #6
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar View Post
    Irresponsible behaviour + refusal to ask for help despite bad consequences. Pretty pathological.

    Sounds like you need something like this:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognit...vioral_therapy
    Not so much a refusal. If I was in any danger I would, mostly all I face now is discomfort. I paid my rent in advance so I have a place to live.

    Call it responsible but I understand why I did, partly for the first time in a long time I could not think about how i'm working unpleasant minimum wage jobs and instead just think about school, which makes my future seem brighter. I have friends who have similarly coasted for a period of time. I don't believe in the ethic that working makes you more valid or honorable, simply you should do what you need to survive so I don't feel bad for not working. I just let it stretch on too long because then I started to dread the interview and applying process and finding work. I really wanted to work in translation or something that catered to my skill sets but I didn't know if I could find anything or how to do so, or if I'd qualify. I face something lots of people my age do, getting out of very structed environments and finding the world outside of it very unstructured and anxiety-provoking. I knew I'd probably just end up taking another job that didn't advance my career, and then be stuck with it and the often unpleasant people and difficult hours to coordinate with schooling. So no wonder I didn't want to waste my time doing that. Working isn't a responsibility I owe to anyone. If I can survive without I and am ok with some degree of discomfort when I have to walk to the library to get a job, that's my problem that I obviously was ok with enough to make.

    I don't like pathologizing every human behavior. In fact procrsastion of things that are unpleasant or anxiety provoking is pretty normal. Lots of people realize they have resources like a boyfriend to buy groceries ect ect and end up coasting on them for a time.

    And I'd do it again, just not as long. I was going to use my school ID as a bus pass, works in my country, and tbh I'd be almost fine right now but turns out it doesn't work during summer which is sad. : (

    In my experience having lots of options can cause me and some other people to feel symied. So many possible ways to go about things. Once things get down to the wire you have less options. Then it's easier. Anyhoo.

    I'd agree I've been irresponsible in that this isn't ideal but seeing that I made the choice to work for years in a place I didn't enjoy to enable my future and then made a conscious choice not to enjoy myself for a bit, and seeing that lots of people face being overwhelmed or put things off, live of their family or friends or just decide to go without fo ra bit, I don't think this is at all abnormal. *shrug*
    WickerDeer and Verity3 thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFP - The Idealists

    I agree with Arzazar that you should ask for help. I know what it feels like to be beaten down by a toxic environment and from there finding it difficult to climb out of the downward spiral. Your family and your true friends can help you do that, especially if you admit to making some poor choices and express a desire to make more proactive ones.
    WickerDeer thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INFP - The Idealists

    I mean it's not ideal obviously but

    the thinking error that is "living for today instead of tomorrow" is pretty well-known. It's why people buy cheeseburgers instead of salads or spend money shopping they could use for idk a vacation to Italy or something. I'd hardly call falling prey to the common delusion "hey it'll be fine I have more time" is "pathological". It's even an economic concept. And though I'm privilege, I have quite a cushion to allow that kind of thinking.

  9. #9
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Verity3 View Post
    I agree with Arzazar that you should ask for help. I know what it feels like to be beaten down by a toxic environment and from there finding it difficult to climb out of the downward spiral. Your family and your true friends can help you do that, especially if you admit to making some poor choices and express a desire to make more functional ones.
    yeah... I mean if certian things don't work out I'll have to ask for help. Obviously I don't want to sour my relationships though so I'm trying everything else first.

  10. #10

    @sogood

    I think I understand. And I agree that the social environment at work can either make it great or hell. Remember that "a better job" than what you had is also just a job where most people aren't assholes--and you will find that.

    I also don't like asking for help either. In fact, I think my least favorite stage of working is interviewing and applying for jobs, so I can understand why you feel anxious about it. It's almost like "asking" for something in itself--because there's an emphasis on "selling yourself."

    But remember that it's like getting into a pool of water--at first it's shocking and uncomfortable, but you can swim and you will find your skills developing, and show how much you can contribute to the work with time and experience.

    But I'm unemployed right now as well and also somewhat procrastinating finding a job....: p And your attitude doesn't sound foreign to me at all.
    I just started reading this website today--I think it's got some funny examples of procrastination and so maybe you'd like it as well. Why Procrastinators Procrastinate - Wait But Why
    Last edited by WickerDeer; 07-23-2015 at 06:47 PM.
    sogood and Verity3 thanked this post.


     
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