[INFP] Stream of Consciousness/Vent Thread - Page 6591

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This is a discussion on Stream of Consciousness/Vent Thread within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I've noticed that many times other NF types, especially INFPs and INFJs sometimes, don't really like me or take me ...

  1. #65901

    I've noticed that many times other NF types, especially INFPs and INFJs sometimes, don't really like me or take me seriously. I obviously don't try to judge every person with these types but in this case there seems to be a recurring behavioral pattern with these people I know. It's like they are full of themselves and somewhat narcissistic, they appear to think they of themselves as superior, I've noticed that many times they act very avoidant, and not how an INFP usually acts avoidant but in an actual rude way, or indirectly insult me. I'm not a saint but I don't I really have to be treated this way. For example, whenever I was talking to this INFJ girl she always seemed to be bored or annoyed, amused but in a sarcastic way no matter what we were talking about. I was always nice to her and tried to have meaningful conversations, various topics like art, music, philosophy, video games and so on. Then one day she just snapped at me. She seemed very annoyed and upset, much more than normal, I just asked her what was wrong and she started raising her voice and eventually leading to an argument, that was closed with her ending the friendship, thanking me that I showed her a type of person she's never met. There was an INFP girl I was in love with, she seemed perfect, she seemed to have a good heart, had a beautiful smile and radiant eyes. That is, until I found out she considers me a freak, right before asking her out. I've had these things happen to me plenty of times and it seems that most of the time it happens with INFJs and INFPs. But I am to blame. How dare I? How dare I, such an inferior creature have the audacity to even dream of romance with such pure creatures reserved only to the gods among men. I thought I could find love, peace and acceptance among these people but it seems like they are the ones who reject me the worst. If anyone thinks it's my fault, I don't think so, I know how I act and who I am. I am a person, a human being, a soul. I apologize your majesties for asking for your love or friendship, I should've known my place. This goes out to those respective persons not for every NF out there. I needed to get this off my chest, I apologize if anyone feels offended.

  2. #65902

    Quote Originally Posted by ReasonforTreason View Post
    I've noticed that many times other NF types, especially INFPs and INFJs sometimes, don't really like me or take me seriously. I obviously don't try to judge every person with these types but in this case there seems to be a recurring behavioral pattern with these people I know. It's like they are full of themselves and somewhat narcissistic, they appear to think they of themselves as superior, I've noticed that many times they act very avoidant, and not how an INFP usually acts avoidant but in an actual rude way, or indirectly insult me. I'm not a saint but I don't I really have to be treated this way. For example, whenever I was talking to this INFJ girl she always seemed to be bored or annoyed, amused but in a sarcastic way no matter what we were talking about. I was always nice to her and tried to have meaningful conversations, various topics like art, music, philosophy, video games and so on. Then one day she just snapped at me. She seemed very annoyed and upset, much more than normal, I just asked her what was wrong and she started raising her voice and eventually leading to an argument, that was closed with her ending the friendship, thanking me that I showed her a type of person she's never met. There was an INFP girl I was in love with, she seemed perfect, she seemed to have a good heart, had a beautiful smile and radiant eyes. That is, until I found out she considers me a freak, right before asking her out. I've had these things happen to me plenty of times and it seems that most of the time it happens with INFJs and INFPs. But I am to blame. How dare I? How dare I, such an inferior creature have the audacity to even dream of romance with such pure creatures reserved only to the gods among men. I thought I could find love, peace and acceptance among these people but it seems like they are the ones who reject me the worst. If anyone thinks it's my fault, I don't think so, I know how I act and who I am. I am a person, a human being, a soul. I apologize your majesties for asking for your love or friendship, I should've known my place. This goes out to those respective persons not for every NF out there. I needed to get this off my chest, I apologize if anyone feels offended.
    I can identify a few things here in this post as to what might be causing --or at least contributing to-- such problems. But it will involve some constructive reflection on your own thoughts and behaviours. Are you up for taking that on? If not that's cool.
    Last edited by Blueberryskies; 08-25-2019 at 06:15 AM.

  3. #65903

    Quote Originally Posted by Candy View Post
    I can identify a few things here in this post as to what might be causing --or at least contributing to-- such problems. But it will involve some constructive reflection on your own thoughts and behaviours. Are you up for taking that on? If not that's cool.
    Sure. No problem.

  4. #65904

    Quote Originally Posted by ReasonforTreason View Post
    Sure. No problem.
    Okay, awesome.
    So firstly, in reference to: "she seemed perfect, she seemed to have a good heart, had a beautiful smile and radiant eyes."

    This ^ indicates to me great idealism and putting this girl on a pedestal. It takes time to get to know someone, and assessments based off someone's smile and eye-radiancy wouldn't necessarily be accurate methods of judgement of character. That's a lot of inherent pressure also put on her to live up to the image you had of her in your own mind and isn't actually fair on her, as flattering as you may think those words are. No one is perfect. Lesson number 1.

    I get the sense just from the post in general that you're bitter towards them for -- in a way-- rejecting you. How do you know she considered you a 'freak?' and how do you also know their MBTI types? I just feel like a lot of assumptions are being made, like with the 'seeming to be perfect.' Again- NO ONE is perfect. Is it possible they felt you were clinging onto them a lot, maybe in moments they just wanted to be left alone? For example...you said you "tried" to have meaningful and got amused/sarcastic reactions and then she randomly snapped. This sounds to me like it was very one-sided to begin with, and that maybe she felt you weren't getting the hint that she wasn't interested. That perhaps you were trying to force something, a friendship or something more, or whatever, that just wasn't really there or meant to be. I mean, I'm sorry it didn't work out, that sucks but i'm sure you'll find your people.

    I would say, overall, in future, try not to make grand assessments of others before you truly get to know them, that way none of you get disappointed.

    TLDR; get to know people first.

  5. #65905

    Quote Originally Posted by Candy View Post
    Okay, awesome.
    So firstly, in reference to: "she seemed perfect, she seemed to have a good heart, had a beautiful smile and radiant eyes."

    This ^ indicates to me great idealism and putting this girl on a pedestal. It takes time to get to know someone, and assessments based off someone's smile and eye-radiancy wouldn't necessarily be accurate methods of judgement of character. That's a lot of inherent pressure also put on her to live up to the image you had of her in your own mind and isn't actually fair on her, as flattering as you may think those words are. No one is perfect. Lesson number 1.

    I get the sense just from the post in general that you're bitter towards them for -- in a way-- rejecting you. How do you know she considered you a 'freak?' and how do you also know their MBTI types? I just feel like a lot of assumptions are being made, like with the 'seeming to be perfect.' Again- NO ONE is perfect. Is it possible they felt you were clinging onto them a lot, maybe in moments they just wanted to be left alone? For example...you said you "tried" to have meaningful and got amused/sarcastic reactions and then she randomly snapped. This sounds to me like it was very one-sided to begin with, and that maybe she felt you weren't getting the hint that she wasn't interested. That perhaps you were trying to force something, a friendship or something more, or whatever, that just wasn't really there or meant to be. I mean, I'm sorry it didn't work out, that sucks but i'm sure you'll find your people.

    I would say, overall, in future, try not to make grand assessments of others before you truly get to know them, that way none of you get disappointed.

    TLDR; get to know people first.
    Thanks for taking the time. I happened to have had a larger circle of acquaintances and one time they all took the test for fun, and I believe the results of some people are accurate, as I know them better than others. That girl actually flat out called me a freak, and I never told her how I feel so I doubt there was any way for her to know that I thought she was perfect. At first I thought she was joking but then she said she was being serious. In the other case I mentioned, I don't think I was being clingy, most people would say I'm shy and quiet, sometimes she was the one to initiate conversations. I've actually heard someone tell me I'm so shy and I scare others off because of that, I'd say I'm an extremely insecure person. I meant to say, not that she was necessarily annoyed but she was acting like I was her object of amusement, in some ways. It felt many times like she was belittling me, like she would only keep the friendship to be entertained by me. And, if no one is perfect, why are others allowed to have flaws but not me? Even if I was actually clingy, why would someone be allowed to reject me like that and be rude? Can't they simply be polite about it? Anyway, thank you for the advice, I agree with what you said.
    Last edited by ReasonforTreason; 08-25-2019 at 09:29 AM.
    Blueberryskies thanked this post.

  6. #65906

    Quote Originally Posted by ReasonforTreason View Post
    There was an INFP girl I was in love with, she seemed perfect, she seemed to have a good heart, had a beautiful smile and radiant eyes. That is, until I found out she considers me a freak, right before asking her out.
    I don't have any advice for this like Candy does, but this really hurt to read. I'm sorry to hear that, man.
    ReasonforTreason thanked this post.

  7. #65907
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Candy View Post
    Thank you for responding :)

    This is the kinda info I was 'seeking' haha! Get it? Anyway. Hmmmmmmm. When I took that archetype tri-type test I got 'the philosopher' (461, 146, 641) and that also sounds like me. So it's confusing! Also, I feel like I've developed my assertiveness too much to be a 9, if that's a possible thing...My boss is an ISTJ type 9 XD and guess who bosses HIM around? hahaha (Me. Playfully, of course...It would hurt his ego to hear that, so he would throw it straight back at me don't worry lol XD). I just don't feel I act outwardly selflessly enough to be a 9 (although I tend not to give myself enough credit the best of times...hmm), and I just know others see me as very perfectionistic and a bit of a stickler for what's (morally) right (depends who I'm around though...different people bring out different parts...but that sounds more 1-sh than 9?) What I do know for sure is I'm INFP - if that helps at all...
    1w9 is more driven by being factually right. 1w2 is more driven by being morally right. If that's of any help. [I believe that I'm 4w5-1-6w5, with my 1 drive being tortured to be right on all grounds.]

    Perfectionism plays into both the 1 and the 4. The 4 perfectionism is more focused on what is important to the person especially "artistically" (whether as an artist, composer, performer, writer, philosopher, etc.) with 1 being more mindful of all things moral, factual, or both in being perfected. The 4's perfection is aimed at the self (the individualist) and the internal standard whereas the 1 looks more outwardly at shared standards and objectivity.
    Aridela thanked this post.

  8. #65908

    I think that part of my path back to not being depressed much of the time is to a) regain some amount of faith in humanity and b) stop isolating myself from current events. With enough work I should be able to know what's going on without hating everything. It's going to involve a lot of investigating to get a rational view of things. Although maybe that's a bad plan. I won't go back on twitter or be looking for the news all of the time.

  9. #65909

    Quote Originally Posted by Im FiNe View Post
    1w9 is more driven by being factually right. 1w2 is more driven by being morally right. If that's of any help. [I believe that I'm 4w5-1-6w5, with my 1 drive being tortured to be right on all grounds.]

    Perfectionism plays into both the 1 and the 4. The 4 perfectionism is more focused on what is important to the person especially "artistically" (whether as an artist, composer, performer, writer, philosopher, etc.) with 1 being more mindful of all things moral, factual, or both in being perfected. The 4's perfection is aimed at the self (the individualist) and the internal standard whereas the 1 looks more outwardly at shared standards and objectivity.
    I like to be both factually and morally right, so I guess that's also just 1 in general XD.
    I feel that inner need to correct people a lot, even if I don't always express it...(to keep peace) The 4 and the 1 both sound very me. However, when I take the test I never get "1" as my enneagram (for that I only get 4, 6 or 9). It only appeared in my tri-type. Are there any type 1 INFPs in the world I wonder...

    Edit:

    I found this post: https://www.personalitycafe.com/type...agram-one.html

    Something about 'integration'. Does this mean you actually change into a different enneagram once you develop, or if you are stressed? If that's true, then is it possible I'm now a 1 but when I am overwhelmed I change to 6? I don't really get it lol
    Last edited by Blueberryskies; 08-25-2019 at 04:20 PM.

  10. #65910

    Quote Originally Posted by ReasonforTreason View Post
    Thanks for taking the time. I happened to have had a larger circle of acquaintances and one time they all took the test for fun, and I believe the results of some people are accurate, as I know them better than others. That girl actually flat out called me a freak, and I never told her how I feel so I doubt there was any way for her to know that I thought she was perfect. At first I thought she was joking but then she said she was being serious. In the other case I mentioned, I don't think I was being clingy, most people would say I'm shy and quiet, sometimes she was the one to initiate conversations. I've actually heard someone tell me I'm so shy and I scare others off because of that, I'd say I'm an extremely insecure person. I meant to say, not that she was necessarily annoyed but she was acting like I was her object of amusement, in some ways. It felt many times like she was belittling me, like she would only keep the friendship to be entertained by me. And, if no one is perfect, why are others allowed to have flaws but not me? Even if I was actually clingy, why would someone be allowed to reject me like that and be rude? Can't they simply be polite about it? Anyway, thank you for the advice, I agree with what you said.
    No problem. Those are all fair questions. I wish I could answer them. I don't know why people act the way they do when it's unjust. I suppose only they know that, or maybe they don't even know at all. Of course you're allowed to have flaws too. It's pretty crap if they are making you feel like you are more flawed than they are and calling you names, how immature and bully-ish. What I said is still true, about getting to know people first, because clearly if you had known this you would not have thought her so great so easily XD Just please try not to generalise all "INFPs" and "INFJs" because of these experiences. It's easy to do, I know...
    ReasonforTreason thanked this post.


     

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