This is a discussion on "dark" versus "positive" INFP within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by Anonymous Disaster I had hard time relating to INFP profiles, because I consider myself to be pretty ...
I don’t view dark as synonymous with bitter, cynical, negative. On occasion, I have been described as dark when I have displayed an acceptance, an ease, with topics that many deem taboo in polite company, such as suffering and death.
I have a new friend who is a breast cancer survivor. She has to go for tests and scans every three months. After her last round of testing, I waited for her to inform me of the results. A week passed, still no mention. I was hesitant to ask her about the results for fear of intruding upon her privacy, but I finally collected the courage and asked if she felt comfortable sharing the results. She told me that she was happy that I had asked and explained that she does not discuss the issue with most because talk of cancer makes people uncomfortable.
I take the designation of dark to be a compliment. I like that I can abide with the hard parts of life, that I can actually listen to and be with those who are in pain without the need to sanitize their emotions with counterfeit smiles and impotent cheer, “Don’t worry, everything will be just fine.”
I am not bitter. I am not jaded. I am awake.
I've spent many, many years as a "dark" INFP while battling depression, anxiety, substance abuse, self-harm, etc. Been in multiple psychiatric hospitals for various reasons. It's made me realize how futile being "dark" is. Being cynical doesn't fix anything. But you know what does? Being a small beacon of kindness in a harsh world. I think it's important to strive to maintain and share as much "light" as we can. A lot of times it won't be returned, but the few times that it pays off are truly wonderful and worth the effort! Genuinely kind people are so rare that most people will eventually appreciate you, even if they're suspicious of your intentions at first.
I feel like I'm both, but most people only get to see the positive side because it's what I feel comfortable putting out there. Generally only the people quite close to me see the depth and extent of my anxiety, angst, and frustration.
I am definitely a dark INFP, but when I am with my partner I turn into the happy child I once used to be.
I pretty much alternate between the two depending on my mood.
I'd say I'm naturally a very optimistic person, and it's one of my best traits (^-^). Probably because I'm so young. I'm very overly excitable about tiny things that a lot of people seem to take for granted, or flat out don't care about at all, like seeing an ant carry something, or a getting a hug from a friend... A lot of people think I'm naive or overly innocent because I'm always saying dumb stuff like " I bet she's a good person underneath!", or if someone is speeding and my parents are annoyed I'll probably say " Maybe his husband is dying! You can't judge yet!", even though I know they're probably just speeding for no reason. People say I'm good at cheering others up, but I really just sit there like a potato while they vent to me, so I'm not really sure that's true...
In order to be whole, one needs to have (=be aware of) both sides. I don't see how INFPs could be an exception to that.
You can "meet"/empathize with people both on their lighter and darker shades, it's not a matter of "this" vs "that" actually, it's a matter of "this" and "that".