[INFP] "dark" versus "positive" INFP - Page 9

"dark" versus "positive" INFP

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This is a discussion on "dark" versus "positive" INFP within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by Anonymous Disaster I had hard time relating to INFP profiles, because I consider myself to be pretty ...

  1. #81
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous Disaster View Post
    I had hard time relating to INFP profiles, because I consider myself to be pretty dark. Cynical, sarcastic, moody and pretty bitter. I think it has to do a lot with the fact that I am an enneagram 4.
    I think INFPs of other types especially 9 or 2 can seem a lot brighter than 4s.

    Fi as described by Jung can actually be a pretty dark and bitter function, relating everything to the self and criticizing everything else with coldness and distrust.

    I personally dislike the idea of an INFP being the "helper" or a "care-taker", in my eyes that relates more to Fe and generally Fe based people are far more prone to express positive emotion more than negative.
    I know about lot of ISFJs mistyping as INFPs.
    I disagree; I feel intense joy and passion, just like I feel intense anger and sadness. And Fe isn't all about positive feelings, in fact, the INFJs not to long ago made a thread about how some of them became jaded after they felt like their kindness was one sided.
    GTG thanked this post.

  2. #82

    I don’t view dark as synonymous with bitter, cynical, negative. On occasion, I have been described as dark when I have displayed an acceptance, an ease, with topics that many deem taboo in polite company, such as suffering and death.

    I have a new friend who is a breast cancer survivor. She has to go for tests and scans every three months. After her last round of testing, I waited for her to inform me of the results. A week passed, still no mention. I was hesitant to ask her about the results for fear of intruding upon her privacy, but I finally collected the courage and asked if she felt comfortable sharing the results. She told me that she was happy that I had asked and explained that she does not discuss the issue with most because talk of cancer makes people uncomfortable.

    I take the designation of dark to be a compliment. I like that I can abide with the hard parts of life, that I can actually listen to and be with those who are in pain without the need to sanitize their emotions with counterfeit smiles and impotent cheer, “Don’t worry, everything will be just fine.”

    I am not bitter. I am not jaded. I am awake.

  3. #83
    INFP

    I've spent many, many years as a "dark" INFP while battling depression, anxiety, substance abuse, self-harm, etc. Been in multiple psychiatric hospitals for various reasons. It's made me realize how futile being "dark" is. Being cynical doesn't fix anything. But you know what does? Being a small beacon of kindness in a harsh world. I think it's important to strive to maintain and share as much "light" as we can. A lot of times it won't be returned, but the few times that it pays off are truly wonderful and worth the effort! Genuinely kind people are so rare that most people will eventually appreciate you, even if they're suspicious of your intentions at first.
    angelfish and GTG thanked this post.

  4. #84

    I feel like I'm both, but most people only get to see the positive side because it's what I feel comfortable putting out there. Generally only the people quite close to me see the depth and extent of my anxiety, angst, and frustration.
    GTG and Larch thanked this post.

  5. #85
    Unknown

    I am definitely a dark INFP, but when I am with my partner I turn into the happy child I once used to be.
    Laughmore and GTG thanked this post.

  6. #86
    ENFP

    I pretty much alternate between the two depending on my mood.
    GTG thanked this post.

  7. #87

    Quote Originally Posted by niki View Post
    It seems that there are broadly two category of INFPs here that I've observed: the "dark" ones and the "positive" INFPs:

    - while the "positive" INFPs seems to be all bright, light, even bubbly and what's often termed as "seeing the world through rose-colored glasses",
    - the "dark" ones are perhaps the opposite: they're usually bitter, jaded, cynical.

    I don't know..
    but, do you basically agree though that there are indeed, to the extreme, the "dark" and the "positive" INFPs, let's say, here in this forum?
    and I'd also like to know: what makes you the first one, and also, what makes you the latter one?
    could it be that maybe we are both? And sometimes one or the other surfaces more (which doesn't mean that the other one is gone completely)
    Just a though, really. I know that I, personally, fluctuate between those two extremes.
    Anyways, a very interesting thread! :)
    WickerDeer thanked this post.

  8. #88

    I'd say I'm naturally a very optimistic person, and it's one of my best traits (^-^). Probably because I'm so young. I'm very overly excitable about tiny things that a lot of people seem to take for granted, or flat out don't care about at all, like seeing an ant carry something, or a getting a hug from a friend... A lot of people think I'm naive or overly innocent because I'm always saying dumb stuff like " I bet she's a good person underneath!", or if someone is speeding and my parents are annoyed I'll probably say " Maybe his husband is dying! You can't judge yet!", even though I know they're probably just speeding for no reason. People say I'm good at cheering others up, but I really just sit there like a potato while they vent to me, so I'm not really sure that's true...
    Sily and bigstupidgrin thanked this post.

  9. #89

    In order to be whole, one needs to have (=be aware of) both sides. I don't see how INFPs could be an exception to that.
    You can "meet"/empathize with people both on their lighter and darker shades, it's not a matter of "this" vs "that" actually, it's a matter of "this" and "that".

  10. #90
    INFP


    Quote Originally Posted by whoawhere View Post
    Well maybe the ones you call dark are the ones who had to do a lot of things against their nature in order to survive in society, while receiving little support or understanding from others. Still, I think extreme cynicism is usually transitional, and after a while a person develops a more accepting and philosophical, and less angry, view of their situation. I know I'm not nearly as cynical as I was years ago.

    I imagine that INFPs who are steadily positive in their lives have a lot of support from family and friends, and feel accepted for who they are. That's just my guess. I think it makes a big difference how accepted and supported one is by people who are important in one's life.
    This quote tells me I'm a dark INFP. Yes, I'm probably not human because I don't find certain things cute or exciting or shocking.


     
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