Hi Personality Cafe! It's my first post so please don't rip me apart if I do this all wrong. Mods, I'm crossposting from ISFJ; if this is not allowed please remove it or let me know, and I'll happily delete this post.
I'm currently dating an INFP woman (we're both in our early 20s). We're almost 4 months in, and beginning to suffer some problems and I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do.
It seems like the highs are very high (we love each other absolutely when we're both "on" in a sense) but the lows are ridiculously low. There is no in between. All it takes is one mis-communication, one day of me needing some space, or one mood swing from her and we're both in the dumps.
When I'm not having a great day, I tend to withdraw. When she's not having a great day, she'll lash out at me. I am always happy to try to help her feel better (it's in my nature to want to help) but it always seems that the more logical I get about it, the more upset it makes her.
My questions are as follows:
1) if a relationship like this is only super ups and super downs, is it sustainable in the long run, or should I end it while it's not too serious?
2) people with successful isfj/infp relationships, how do you guys find a happy balance between creating enough space for the isfj and enough nurturing for the infp?
3) Despite us constantly working on our communication, we have many frequent miscommunications, especially through text, none of which helps her mood swings. Should I stop texting altogether?
4) And more on the above, how do I effectively deal with her mood swings? Sometimes we'll have a great day or two together, then as I leave she just starts crying. By the time I get home she texts that she loves me; it's all very disconcerting.
Thanks so much, and please be as blunt as possible. I understand I'm not perfect, and will take any criticism or advice to heart.