[INFP] Us and love: does this idea apply to you? Loving yourself/loving others

Us and love: does this idea apply to you? Loving yourself/loving others

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  • 3 Post By dansvan3
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This is a discussion on Us and love: does this idea apply to you? Loving yourself/loving others within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I think saying something like this is true for me, maybe it's true for some of you... This: INFPs would ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists

    Us and love: does this idea apply to you? Loving yourself/loving others

    I think saying something like this is true for me, maybe it's true for some of you...

    This: INFPs would make great lovers if at first they love and accept themselves as they are.

    I'm starting to think more about this loving and accepting nature of myself, and it's not that it's difficult, per se, it just feels silly. I accept my faults, they make me humans, My good traits sometimes go over my head, but I know they're there. But they don't feel as real as the bad stuff that I accept. What's with that?

    I know we're supposed to be the most romantic types, being so sensitive to other people, but, for me at this point this has remained drastically unfulfilled. It appears my only wrongdoing is letting the feeling stay in me for so long, almost like my feelings for someone (when I'm away from them) are burning with such a force that it just makes me love myself to a crazy extent. Then, when thinking of the person, they're just an echo of that.

    God damn it I'm not making sense. Am I?
    GreenLadyBug, krentz and ethylester thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INFP - The Idealists

    I'm pretty critical of myself, which makes me struggle to love myself. But I haven't found that it has had a negative impact on my capacity to love others. Loving others is easy. Although I am critical of myself I'm not someone who is always feeling sorry for themselves or complaining to others (I save that for this forum), which I think would make relationships difficult.

    I keep my critical thoughts about myself private for the most part, I guess I keep a lot of things about myself private. Which kind of annoyed my ex because she always wanted me to "share" things, but it's just not in my nature to do so. I'm more focused on caring for and nurturing others so I don't usually ask them for help with my own problems.

  3. #3
    INFP - The Idealists

    This is one of the things that makes me question my type, but none of my criticism towards myself makes me love myself any less. I even like my self-criticism since it is one of the things that motivates me towards self-improvement, and I respect everyone who wants to better themselves. In fact, one of the things I remember saying to a relative during a difficult time when I was a child, or at least an early teen, is that first you have to love yourself before you can truly love another. You have a duty of care to yourself.

    Also, I know how painful it is when someone you care for dearly does not appreciate themselves as much as you do. It feels like they are wounding you personally, even though that is never the intention. It takes a lot for me to decide to place my trust in someone, but once I do I can be very honest with them not only because I value honesty and openness, but I believe the most beautiful things in any human relationship only happen if you are brave enough to make yourself vulnerable.

    If I have a weakness in this area, it's this. I love things about myself, and I love things about others. But I have difficulty believing that others could love the same things in me that I do. There seems to be a fundamental gap there. It is one that I would very much like to bridge, though, because I don't think I can truly move forwards until I do. I'm just not sure where to go from here...
    dansvan3 and Bago thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by krentz View Post

    If I have a weakness in this area, it's this. I love things about myself, and I love things about others. But I have difficulty believing that others could love the same things in me that I do. There seems to be a fundamental gap there. It is one that I would very much like to bridge, though, because I don't think I can truly move forwards until I do. I'm just not sure where to go from here...
    Definitely the same for me. It's almost like the parts of myself that I do love are so rarely noticed, that when they are, I get really bashful and a little bit anxious.

  5. #5
    INFP - The Idealists

    I have been feeling the power of this lately. I feel more confident than I have in a long time, just in general. I am more at peace with myself and with others. I am not very shy anymore and I feel like I know what I'm doing most of the time. The times that I question myself, I will take a step back and ponder what it is that is bothering me, and I will attempt to accept the things I do not know.

    I feel like there are parts of me that are shameful and inappropriate. I feel like the world would judge me badly if certain things were made public. I am very tired of feeling guilty all the time. I have felt guilty all my life just for existing. Just for being me. I always feel like I should be someone else, doing something else, doing what I'm supposed to do, hiding in the background, etc. I am so sick and tired of this. This year I am learning to accept my "imperfections" and try to just ride with them. Try to see that other people have these problems too, and I'm not alone. Also realize I have strengths and people like my company.

    The weariness I feel from guilt is a burden I don't want to carry anymore. Let people judge. I'm determined to be ok with who I am, and I'm determined to forgive myself and accept who I am.
    INFPwn, Richard Barnes and dansvan3 thanked this post.


     

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