[INFP] Are most ESFJ's annoying? - Page 2

Are most ESFJ's annoying?

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This is a discussion on Are most ESFJ's annoying? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Hahahahahah Yes......My supervisor is a ESFJ and she annoys the crap of me. Like you say, she invades my personal ...

  1. #11
    INFP - The Idealists

    Hahahahahah

    Yes......My supervisor is a ESFJ and she annoys the crap of me. Like you say, she invades my personal space constantly. She talks and talks all of time and 80% of the time about mundane and stupid things. She is diabetic and she is always talking about food. She tells you EVERY single detail about what she did during the weekend and she explains what she ate. She doesn't think before she talks. She thinks aloud and sometimes she say unecesary things that get her in trouble. She is a good supervisor, she is very considerate but sometimes she can be controlling and irrational. She is smart but there are times when she makes dumb decisions and she does not accept it. Most of the time she does not respect my space and she can be extremely nosy.

    She has been irritating me lately, but I cannot complain much about her because she is one of the best supervisors I have had for now.

    Haha same things happen to me. I have a nook (tablet for reading ebooks). When I take it out she starts asking me what it is, what am I reading, Ugh. Sometimes I have to dissapear. If I eat lunch outside the office is a problem too because she always need to have company. She can't never be alone.

    *rolls eyes*

    My supervisor as an ENFJ is nice but can be extremely annoying and and childish. She is in her 50s and she can sometimes act like an obnoxious child. Even her voice sounds childish.
    Quote Originally Posted by random398 View Post
    i know someone who is ESFJ, she is a really nice person but she can get on my nerves sometimes

    for example, when i'm reading, she annoys the crap out of me by talking to me constantly (but saying stupid things) and singing random songs in my face, shes also really touchy and invades my personal space a lot which i hate, sometimes she just acts really silly and it just gets annoying

    anyway, i just want to know if anyone has noticed this or if it's just this person i know

    btw i was going to ask this on the ESFJ forum, but it seems pretty empty so i thought i'd get a better response here
    StrawberryShortCake, 20111017, Plumber and 1 others thanked this post.

  2. #12
    Unknown Personality

    I now believe that I know at least three ESFJs: one's a delight to talk to; one I'm somewhat ambivalent towards; another whom I believe deserves nothing but contempt.

    Since this is a thread about ESFJs who're 'annoying', I'll just describe the most awful ESFJ I know (her attitudes, values and approach to child-rearing):

    1) She forbade her own children from being friends with 'poor' peers whose parents didn't have professional careers. However, she also took advantage of her children's 'friendships' to expand her own personal network.

    2) She volunteered to participate in 'community service', but whinged to my mother about the amount of work she had to do although she'd voluntarily signed up (coming from someone who extols the 'virtues' of volunteer work).

    3) She's concerned with social status; everything she buys has to be 'the best' (her words).

    4) She seems unable to empathize with anyone who isn't part of the 'in-group' and gives unsolicited, insensitive as well as tactless advice. However, she actually believes (and once said) that she likes to make people 'happy' -- regardless of whether or not they actually feel that way.

    5) She's a poser and snob who claims to watch/read 'intellectual' pieces -- but doesn't actually have her own opinions other than what her 'high-class' friends tell her.

    6) She also believes she's 'socially progressive' -- but actually parrots anything her 'high-class' friends tell her while failing to see any contradictions or inconsistencies in what she enjoys regurgitating.
    Last edited by Morpheus83; 11-05-2011 at 06:54 PM.

  3. #13
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by random398 View Post
    i know someone who is ESFJ, she is a really nice person but she can get on my nerves sometimes

    for example, when i'm reading, she annoys the crap out of me by talking to me constantly (but saying stupid things) and singing random songs in my face, shes also really touchy and invades my personal space a lot which i hate, sometimes she just acts really silly and it just gets annoying

    anyway, i just want to know if anyone has noticed this or if it's just this person i know

    btw i was going to ask this on the ESFJ forum, but it seems pretty empty so i thought i'd get a better response here
    You know one person whom is an ESFJ and so you decide to generalise all of them? Yes, I know that is in fact your question, but even questioning it is generalising. It's not sensible to question if every ESFJ is the same as the one you're reffering to. If you don't know, every human is an individual therefore we are all different. Type has nothing to do with a persons character.
    So she gets on your nerves. Everyone has someone in their life that is overbearing and nerveracking. Most likely, more than one, and we tend to love them anyways. You need to realize that's who she is just like you are who you are. She likes to be loud and joke a good amount of the time just you like your quiet privacy. You're not always going to understand one another.

    _______
    According to my experience to ESFJ's, they are very active and like excitement, but can also be calm and quiet. (I think I may have just described at least 70% of the population. =/ Though ESFJ's are more likely to act this way when they understand it's for some emotional benefit or when someone is need of support.) The point is, I've seen a very diverse array of ESFJ's.

    For example my best friend is an ENFJ with a strong sensing preference as well. She's very controlling, opinionated, and not extremely open-minded. But she's also very offbeat and complex. Sometimes she even acts like the so called 'unhealthy ESFJ' as she can be quite insensitive at times without being aware of it.

    Then there's my dad. He matches the description of a masculine ESFJ pretty well. He's excessively into sports, music, and current happenings. That doesn't mean he completely lacks depth. I can't say there's anything I dislike about him. But then again I don't live with him.=p


    Overall ESFJ's are some amazing people. Of course they're not perfect and can be quite irritating at times to us INFP types, they are almost always guarenteed to be affectionate and thoughtful. Although they don't all show it, ESFJ's are a few of the most caring people I know.

  4. #14
    Unknown Personality


    I know three esfjs. The one that I'm closest to now loves to create stories and tell lies. Its extremely irritating. But she's a loyal friend.

    The other two that I know annoy me because they have zero respect for other people's personal things. Highly irritating. If they see something they want, they will take it with zero regard for how the owner might feel.

    They have lots of positive things though. But its not a personality I would care to deal with on a daily basis.
    Teen Rose thanked this post.

  5. #15

    Based on a sample size of one I'd say don't draw any conclusions.
    One my best friends is an ESFJ, and she is very respectful of others needs and socially orientated, we get along great. If anything she probably finds me annoying. The other ESFJ I know had a huge crush on me and him I did find annoying but that's more due to neediness and trying to guilt me into liking him and also not taking no for an answer and embarrassing me in front of the entire school publicly, but I don't think that's ESFJ thing, just a him thing haha.
    The other ESFJ I know is a teacher and is a very duty bound person who needs to be liked and can't pick up on sarcasm but she's very nice, not annoying.

  6. #16
    INFP - The Idealists

    And I thought it was just me....LOL.......I find this thread delightfully amusing. I see pretty much every trait in every ESFJ I've ever known posted in here. As nice and well meaning as they usually are, they just have a way of REALLY getting under your skin........ a bit more than the other types; and this is probably due to the inherent nature of us INFPs.
    What gets me the most about ESFJs is they're morbidly off-putting obsession with "social normalcy"; anything or anyone that they feel or think that is outside of the (their) social code they tend to openly slander or shun. And then to add further hypocrisy, they see or call themselves open-minded and trend setting, knowing good and well they would be scared to wear carnation at a pink party. The second most annoying feature is they're disregard for personal space; they seem to have trouble accepting the fact that everyone doesn't want to have a social gathering or interaction every second of their life, and some needs more down time than others. Most ESFJs are very nice and friendly people(except for one that I personally know of), but admittedly, the ESFJs can REALLY PISS YOU OFF at times.......especially to us INFPs.
    GoldenDawn, milti and Teen Rose thanked this post.

  7. #17
    INFP - The Idealists

    hi i'm an infp, i know what you mean, esfj's are pretty annoying, mainly i think cos introverts are not into chattering continously but otherwise i don't mind them they are good people.
    p.s my sister is a esfj
    were are almost complete oppsites, hehe
    PrankyButSaintly thanked this post.

  8. #18
    INFP - The Idealists

    ESFJ's, especially the unhealthy ones, are the ones I have the hardest time dealing with. They know how to push my buttons like no one else. They seem to enjoy asking me questions I don't want to answer and also they seem really shallow to me. Yes, yes, I'm sure there are some really nice ESFJ's out there, I've just never met any that I can stand and that can stand me.
    Teen Rose thanked this post.

  9. #19
    ENFJ - The Givers

    One the one hand, there's a depressed ESFJ I know who I care for immensely. On the other hand, my mother and sister are both ESFJs who irritate the hell out of me. My mother doesn't understand why I don't want to talk about my day, or why I don't enjoy her lengthy nagging sessions. My sister is Fe-Ne looping VERY badly. As you might imagine, she has lots of anxiety and stress problems because of it. She says she's depressed at the moment, but having had experience of depression in numerous friends I've come to see someone telling everyone they're feeling down as a good sign in a lot of ways. Her problem is more illnesses caused by her poor diet and blown out of proportion by her mind. Are most ESFJs annoying? Most people are annoying sometimes, full stop. Yes, that includes us. But most people have redeeming qualities too. The things that mean you can deal with the annoyance, the things that draw you to them anyway.
    milti thanked this post.

  10. #20
    INFP - The Idealists

    In my previous job, my boss was ESFJ. She seemed, at that time, difficult to understand. She found me downright weird. She was a lot older than us (in her 50s) yet she would try to hang out with us and talk about young stuff. She was always talking about where she'd been and all the countries she had visited and would make really boring stories out of her experiences. She was always trying to get me to socialise, like "why don't you have another drink?" and stuff when we went out for dinner. She loved eating and food and would talk about it nonstop. I couldn't understand how her whole life was her work and she couldn't understand why I didn't apply myself more. She kept me on probation without a permanent salary for so long, I was mad at her. I didn't understand many of her arbitrary decisions.
    Yeah, she was annoying and we made it clear we didn't understand each other.
    But when I put in my papers to quit, she seemed genuinely upset. She really did care about my living situation. She was supportive when I said I wanted to study some more. She was very warm about welcoming me back if I needed a job again later. She said she would give me a recommendation whenever I needed it. She was really nice. In hindsight, I had a lot to learn from her.
    SuperNova85, TyTy and Teen Rose thanked this post.


     
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