[INFP] Secretly seeking validation

Secretly seeking validation

Hello Guest! Sign up to join the discussion below...
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11
Thank Tree43Thanks

This is a discussion on Secretly seeking validation within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I'm always even just a little worried that I may have posted threads like the one I THINK I'm posting ...

  1. #1

    Secretly seeking validation

    I'm always even just a little worried that I may have posted threads like the one I THINK I'm posting for the first time before. I've been here a while and I'm internet-senile. So I apologize if this is the case.

    I once read a post by someone whose name I can't recall, stating (if I recall correctly) something like:

    I don't post for validation but I find myself concerned AFTER posting about how many 'thanks' I might get. (End)

    Maybe this is my self-absorption talking but I feel like a lot of people here know how depressed I've been. And on my search to find the root of, or one of multiple roots of said depression, I'm now considering the possibility that it is partially due to my need for validation.

    I quoted that person because they described exactly how I feel in other areas of my life. When I first do something, it isn't for the purpose of pleasing others. But it hurts when people not only don't understand what it is I've said or done, but respond with criticism and leave it at that. That's something I really dislike: People who spend copious amounts of time insulting you, but make no effort to tell you why what you've done is wrong (if needed,) and what you can DO to FIX IT.

    I'm sharing this to hear from those who have gone through what they percieved this emotion I am feeling to be, and can explain what it is they've done to overcome it. I don't mind if this thread gets no replies..actually, I do, but I won't blame anyone. I just want the replies I do get, if any, to be of "quality" (if you can understand and resonate with what it is you feel I'm saying, I'd appreciate you conveying that feeling in your post.)

    P.S. I'm sorry, but I'm done trying to sound selfless in any thread I create. I admire those threads where people can discuss a general idea without sound egotistical. But the fact is, I only understand things I'm going through, and I only post in hopes that I'm not the only one.

    Thanks.
    Last edited by Polterguise; 01-08-2016 at 04:24 AM.
    Ametcitra, Riven, GTG and 10 others thanked this post.



  2. #2

    Hm, for myself I can frame this in terms of 4 envy.... there is some resentment at feeling less, hm, significant than some others who I don't think are necessarily better. When I do feel acknowledged, I may sense resentment from others, which has made me realize things are all about rapport, not about the significance of whatever it is I actually accomplished or my personal qualities unconnected to others.

    I experience things in a much more resentful way than feeling sad. This is a more recent development for me, because as a child I don't think I was aware of it. I never consciously felt resentment, just a general hostility towards "the world". I was rewarded a lot in many ways as a child, and even as an adult I get fair recognition for things (perhaps more than my fair share). But the social sphere has always been a rough thing for me. I don't feel "likable", even if I may feel respected, admired or even envied in some ways. This sort of popularity issue has always felt petty and beneath me though. Nonetheless, the sense of being insignificant can rear its head for me.

    So I think what can alleviate this is admitting to yourself that you need to be liked and appreciated. That doesn't lessen the personal inspiration of whatever it is you are doing. It doesn't mean that is your main motivation. It also is not needy or weak or whatever, but a pretty basic human thing. A lot of times people phrase "caring about what others think" as a weak, pathetic thing. But what is the alternative? Some bratty, immature attitude of 'I don't care what anyone thinks!"? Caring about what other people think shows you respect and value their opinion, that it is all. The line to draw is to not let their opinions define you. Take it as feedback to consider, not as a final or true judgment; your significance is not dependent on them. They have their own biases and insecurities to cloud their viewpoint. Also look for other ways to connect with people that may be more fulfilling, as seeking validation in other forms may just be some substitute for more personal connections. We may feel insignificant when disconnected or misunderstood, and validation is just a band-aid on a deeper wound, basically.

    Next, stop comparing yourself with others, which you will probably distort anyway. Some people may get more feedback, including more positive feedback, mainly because they are just more familiar to other (the "thanks" count around here very much reflects this idea). People know them and they already have some established rapport. If you get insecure and hold back or brew resentment (which others will pick up on in some way), then you will not establish the rapport necessary to make people care to begin with. In short, people will value what you do when they feel you value them and are going to reciprocate; so first, establish rapport. It would be nice to think others appreciate something based on its own merit, but it always seems to come back to their own ego :D. (I would like to add I am crap at doing this).

    If people are actually stooping to insult you, then it is likely their own insecurity again. Constructive feedback won't come across that way. People sometimes do this when they don't feel validated, especially by you.

  3. #3
    INTJ

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Hm, for myself I can frame this in terms of 4 envy.... there is some resentment at feeling less, hm, significant than some others who I don't think are necessarily better. When I do feel acknowledged, I may sense resentment from others, which has made me realize things are all about rapport, not about the significance of whatever it is I actually accomplished or my personal qualities unconnected to others.

    I experience things in a much more resentful way than feeling sad. This is a more recent development for me, because as a child I don't think I was aware of it. I never consciously felt resentment, just a general hostility towards "the world". I was rewarded a lot in many ways as a child, and even as an adult I get fair recognition for things (perhaps more than my fair share). But the social sphere has always been a rough thing for me. I don't feel "likable", even if I may feel respected, admired or even envied in some ways. This sort of popularity issue has always felt petty and beneath me though. Nonetheless, the sense of being insignificant can rear its head for me.

    So I think what can alleviate this is admitting to yourself that you need to be liked and appreciated. That doesn't lessen the personal inspiration of whatever it is you are doing. It doesn't mean that is your main motivation. It also is not needy or weak or whatever, but a pretty basic human thing. A lot of times people phrase "caring about what others think" as a weak, pathetic thing. But what is the alternative? Some bratty, immature attitude of 'I don't care what anyone thinks!"? Caring about what other people think shows you respect and value their opinion, that it is all. The line to draw is to not let their opinions define you. Take it as feedback to consider, not as a final or true judgment; your significance is not dependent on them. They have their own biases and insecurities to cloud their viewpoint. Also look for other ways to connect with people that may be more fulfilling, as seeking validation in other forms may just be some substitute for more personal connections. We may feel insignificant when disconnected or misunderstood, and validation is just a band-aid on a deeper wound, basically.

    Next, stop comparing yourself with others, which you will probably distort anyway. Some people may get more feedback, including more positive feedback, mainly because they are just more familiar to other (the "thanks" count around here very much reflects this idea). People know them and they already have some established rapport. If you get insecure and hold back or brew resentment (which others will pick up on in some way), then you will not establish the rapport necessary to make people care to begin with. In short, people will value what you do when they feel you value them and are going to reciprocate; so first, establish rapport. It would be nice to think others appreciate something based on its own merit, but it always seems to come back to their own ego :D. (I would like to add I am crap at doing this).

    If people are actually stooping to insult you, then it is likely their own insecurity again. Constructive feedback won't come across that way. People sometimes do this when they don't feel validated, especially by you.
    Just a couple of comments which I did not know were going to come out of my fingertips until I started typing. (Keyboard-typing, not psychoanalysis-typing... ) <-- stop me before I pun again.

    About the first bolded statement and resentment...I have observed that it is not necessarily a '4' thing alone, to have some measure of resentment...part of it is, well, maybe an INxx thing: those with powerful Fi as opposed to strong Fe; or those whose Se is lacking, may suffer from it: because they are guided by internal goalposts, and/or refuse to go along with the crowd just for the sake of getting along. So they feel internally that they have done something "intrinsically" meritorious, but fail to take into account that other people simply don't value what the INxx has done, to the same extent the INxx values it...so the INxx feels that they don't get credit for something absolutely 'fantastic'...and conversely feels that someone else who does something that didn't take 1/10 the effort, or creativity, or something, gets an awful lot of praise and credit...not realizing that what the other person did happened to capture exactly, the spirit of the moment, the flavor of the day of the crowd. So of *course* it got praised.

    or, alternatively,

    having weak Se means that you just start noticing a trend, after it has already peaked among everyone else, and is starting to become an annoying cliche; or *finally* come up with just the right point to make about some topic in a conversation, when the conversation had shifted good and hard to something else, about 3 or 4 sentences ago...with the result the INxx always looks "out of it" ... and a mere whiff or hint of 'entitlement' since they always seem (to everyone else) to demand credit for their own private, special little insight or belief or style or whatever, which other people can't quite put their finger on, but all they can tell is it just feels a bit 'out of sync'...

    No animus nor shame intended: in keeping with the OP's lament, this is intended to be a suggestion of the 'lay of the land' and possibly point to things to be done to sand off the rough (social) edges and be more welcomed and accepted. If one looks at it a a role, a mask (in the same way ALL social conventions are), and done as a way of showing love for others by helping their lives be a little more harmonious, it need not violate one's Fi. But admittedly there is a fine line between self-effacing gracefulness and (hidden) snarling resentment at having to suck up to a bunch of shallow so-and-sos... (which ties in to @OrangeAppled 's line about 'not let their opinions define you'...

    As far as the final bolded passage, if people are stooping to insult you...it need not be a reflection on you, either directly, or via the others' insecurity: some people are just nasty and like to sow discord or share the misery:

    58e31850deca013171a6005056a9545d
    Polterguise, OrangeAppled and Benny thanked this post.

  4. #4

    I think we are a bit hard-wired to seek validation of some form, like to affirm that we are always good enough. I do that too, although I'd never tell anyone about it. Like you feel inferior/under-appreciated in some way if you don't get the appreciation you deserve, or that your Facebook likes are always way lower than others, or you are robbed for some award/credit that the recipient blatantly stole from you... I could go on, but that's how we work by and large.

    Recently, I found out about myself that although we seek validation, but it matters more from people you care about. It's weird, but I guess you don't wholly feel satisfied with yourself even with some form of validation. I think it's the feeling that we need to feel reciprocated from your loved ones after putting in effort for them. Yes, I think INFPs are altruistic to an extent, but we still need to feel that whatever we do must be worth doing.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Next, stop comparing yourself with others, which you will probably distort anyway.
    Couldn't agree more with this. But, let's face it - it's hard to actually do it in practice. Just saying.
    Polterguise and Benny thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFP

    Quote Originally Posted by Salad Days View Post
    I'm sharing this to hear from those who have gone through what they percieved this emotion I am feeling to be, and can explain what it is they've done to overcome it. I don't mind if this thread gets no replies..actually, I do, but I won't blame anyone. I just want the replies I do get, if any, to be of "quality."
    @Salad Days I'm not sure if this will qualify as a "quality" reply, but:

    It does mean a lot to me personally when people acknowledge and/or thank my posts. I do sometimes wonder whether I might have written something silly, or egotistical, or wrong. Writing a post is sort of like sending out a vulnerable (and potentially horribly flawed) idea into unknown space that might or might not get shot down. And ideas can be representations of ourselves.

    It helps me to recognize that the type of response I get depends a lot on where I've posted, whom I'm writing to, or whether I've written the first reply in the thread or the 50th. Often the response has nothing to do with what I've written.

    It also helps me to remember life experiences where I have been validated. People talk about learning to be your own best friend, but I am never perfect at that. I'm still a work in progress when it comes to validating myself.

    P.S. I'm sorry, but I'm done trying to sound selfless in any thread I create. I admire those threads where people can discuss a general idea without sound egotistical. But the fact is, I only understand things I'm going through, and I only post in hopes that I'm not the only one.
    I don't think it's necessarily egotistical to post about your own experiences. In fact, I think it can be incredibly honest. I am actually more likely to perceive a person as egotistical if they try to make sweeping generalizations, rather than speak from there own experiences and perspectives.
    sittapygmaea, Polterguise, Aizar and 2 others thanked this post.

  6. #6
    Unknown

    I think I'm doing the right thing.

    I am also quite insecure regarding the number of thanks I receive for my posts. I don't consciously think of myself too much when I write them, my mind is focused on the question or topic at hand and writing the "best" possible reply. If I write something I think is insightful and, tossing it into the outside world for all to see, I get an unexpectedly cool response, I start to question my own abilities and perceptions of my own writing. All kinds of alarming questions race through my mind such as

    "Is my opinion offensive?"
    "Was my post clear enough to understand?"
    "Was I just stating the obvious?"
    "Did I accidentally copy the 3 year old post on page 34 that I didn't bother reading?"

    I rack my brains trying to think of a reason that the post I put a lot of thought and effort into writing, the post that I thought was good, could actually end being so bad. Sometimes I manage to create a reason to dislike my writing and put my opinion in line with everybody else's. Ah, the paragraphs are way too long in this. Nobody would have the patience to make it all the way through to the end. Other times, I don't see anything wrong, or the mistakes I see seem too small and insignificant to warrant such a poor reception. And then I feel somewhat hurt and confused.

    When we're in our own heads, we're always right. We're not usually self-conscious, so we take our own opinions as a kind of absolute truth, so to speak. You might see a poorly hewn dress with garish, conflicting colours and a terribly stitched picture of a dog that looks like it came from Chernobyl. You would see it, the image goes through a billion neural pathways as your brain compares it to every dress you've ever seen, and a split second later you'd say "Eww, that's so ugly."

    It's not ugly though. Not intrinsically. There isn't a little label on the collar saying
    "WARNING: This dress is ugly and may cause bleeding from the eyes"
    Ugliness is an opinion, formed by your thoughts and personal taste in the split second between you seeing the dress and making fun of it. It'd be more accurate to say "I think this dress is ugly", but because it would be tiring to say "I think" all the time we drop it and make it shorter. Dropping the distinction between "I think" and "It is" makes conversations a few hours shorter, but it can cause problems when "I think" slips out the back of your subconscious and leaves you (unknowingly) thinking that everything is absolute.

    I write something and I consider it good, and then it gets ignored and I presume that other people think it's not good. When you take things absolutely, it's impossible for it to be both good and not good. That defies logic. So clearly it must be either good or not good, somebody must be right and somebody must be wrong. An arrogant and self-centred person might say
    "Well of course it's good, these losers are just too stupid to see it!"
    and completely refuse to acknowledge or respect other people's opinions. Thankfully most people are more mature than this, but then our insecurities can lead us in the opposite direction. Somebody must be wrong, and it's surely not the people we love and respect, so it must be us that are wrong.

    Our work isn't as good as we thought it was. And perhaps worse, we don't even understand why. We have no hope of fixing something if we can't see the problem. We're doomed to a life of mediocrity. Nobody will ever like my writing.

    As you can see, that kind of absolute thinking can lead to a lot of confusion and bitter inner conflict. I'm basically saying that everybody has an opinion and they're not necessarily right or wrong, it's nothing new and I'm sure you're well aware of it on a conscious level. That being said, it is quite natural to forget that you are thinking and it can wreak havoc on your subconscious. I've told myself this many times, it's still difficult not to feel hurt when somebody looks at my work and says "Dude, this fucking sucks"
    I have to remind myself repeatedly that fucking suckness is not something that is quantifiable and my answer of "No it doesn't" is just as valid.

    Even accepting that everyone is entitled to their opinion and you're entitled to consider their opinion complete drivel, it does still hurt to have someone say your work "fucking sucks". It's an incredibly offensive way to put it and it shows a lack of consideration for your own feelings. A person who cared about you and knew how much importance you placed on it would be more gentle, or perhaps not say anything at all.

    "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"

    I think this is probably getting closer to the main thrust of what bothers you, the lack of validation. You've taken the time to hear out what other people had to say, why can't they give you the same courtesy? It's very disheartening when somebody you care about doesn't seem to care about you in the same way. Personally I find a slightly less enthusiastic response than expected from a close friend to be far more hurtful than an angry tirade from a complete stranger. I have expectations on my friends that they will understand me and try to support me as best they can in my various endeavours. I have no such expectations on a stranger, so even the rudest and most pig-headed comments have little effect on me.

    The key word there is expectations. Expecting something to happen is another way of saying you're setting yourself up for disappointment. People say that when you expect something, the best thing that could happen is that you'll be satisfied it all went as expected. At worst, you'll experience heartbreaking disappointment after investing all that time and emotional into a mere possibility that never came to fruition. Compared to the joys and momentary displeasures of genuine surprise, it seems like a needlessly stressful way to live. Expectations are stressful on the people you place them on as well. I think everyone must know the dilemma of being expected to do something that you know you can't, when you don't want to let the person placing the expectations on you down. It makes you feel like the only reasonable course of action is blasting off to Andromeda and disappearing forever.

    Because of the pain it would cause myself and others, I try to avoid placing expectations on people that I'm not sure they'll be able to fulfil. In my case, that means trying not to expect that people will 'thank' or otherwise acknowledge my writing. There are plenty of reasons that somebody might not like it, insane length being the obvious, and not all of them reflect on their opinions of me as a person or the quality of my writing. I try to maintain a constructive attitude towards myself, accepting criticisms and working on improvement if I agree with them, or accepting that we must have a difference of opinion if I disagree.

    What I strive for is complete self-validation, that is to say I will be happy with myself if I am happy with myself. I will respect other opinions and bow to majority consensus if there's no harm in doing so, but once I've considered all the evidence available to me I will be confident that my own opinions are just as valid as anyone else's. Placing my validation on things I can't control in the outside world is just asking for trouble. This includes things that I create like the posts on this website. They reflect my heart & soul but they're not my heart & soul itself. I'd be happy if somebody read them and saw a bit of who I am on the inside, but they're open to interpretation and I wouldn't hold it against anyone for not 'getting' me. I still know who I am. That's enough validation for me. Or at least it should be.

    My signature reads "If they answer not to your call walk alone." It'd be nice if they did answer and help me out a bit, but I can't expect them to. As much as I prefer having company, I'll go the journey myself if I have to. You are the only person who can decide what your destination is in life. Regardless of how many people help, the final answers must come from within. Be confident in your own path, though it may change as you walk down it. You know better than anyone else where you are going.
    sittapygmaea, GTG and Larch thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Salad Days View Post
    I quoted that person because they described exactly how I feel in other areas of my life. When I first do something, it isn't for the purpose of pleasing others. But it hurts when people not only don't understand what it is I've said or done, but respond with criticism and leave it at that. That's something I really dislike: People who spend copious amounts of time insulting you, but make no effort to tell you why what you've done is wrong (if needed,) and what you can DO to FIX IT.
    .
    Yes, I seek validation.

    I don't seek validation in the sense of someone constantly telling me I did a good job (I don't mind when people do, but it isn't the validation I seek). I seek validation in the sense that if I make something and I show it to someone, I want them to sit down and show that they are actually paying attention to what I did. Now, I don't want this everytime I make something, but when I do decide to show something I made to people, then yes. It shows me that they respect me as a person and that they care. If I get criticism as a result (as long as it is constructive) then I don't mind, because it means the person has thought about what I made a lot and that's good.

    There is this stigma against wanting validation, and in some ways I can see why and in some ways not.
    I think many people think "seeking validation" means someone who makes something really pretty and then goes "No, it's not pretty" for the sole sake of getting people to assure them that it is. I guess that is a form of validation, and probably the one that has given "seeking validation" such a bad rep.
    Seeking validation as in wanting people to show you that they care about what you have done? That's fine in my opinion. Of course we care about what other people think, we're humans. We've developed to be rather social and communicative creatures, so being ignored or dismissed really hurts for anyone. Especially if we make something that other people will see, such as a book we intend to publish or a scientific article or an artwork for an exhibition in school or anything like that. If we do something knowing other people will see and we want someone to tell us what they think and they dismiss us, then of course we would feel upset.

    I don't see that as being selfish or weak or anything. It's human nature.
    As long as it doesn't hurt other people and as long as it isn't manipulative to others then it is fine.
    Benny and Riven thanked this post.

  8. #8

    I'm still reading through everything here (it was a lot of new information to take in, and I'm giving my mind a break for now.) But I've learned a lot. And @Larch - not to suggest that you care much or at all, but I feel I should clarify what I meant by "quality." I was trying to convey my emotion with what I wrote, and I hoped people would be able to identify with that and use that in their replies. Based on your own, I thank you, because you definitely seem to have done that. I'm sorry. Perhaps I should have been more specific. I hadn't thought of it at the time and I'll edit it xD

    I formerly had absolutely no idea why others get more praise than I do. It was literally a complete mystery. But it shouldn't have been, I suppose, because when people thank me at work for example, I can never take it seriously since I know they only appreciate me for what I've done for them. And oddly enough that makes me happy, but it's a different kind of high I get than when I'm on my own.

    On the other hand, when I see others getting more praise than I do, it does upset me. And it upsets me that it upsets me because

    (1) I'm so used to being alone/not having to compare myself to others.
    (2) Again, I wasn't formerly aware why they were receiving said praise. For some reason I was factoring out the idea that it's because they're making themselves useful in the eyes of OTHER PEOPLE.

    Also I realized that it's not that I want people to be unbiased when they thank me -- what I really want is for people to thank me because they see the good in what I've said or done regardless of whether or not it has benefited them, which when I thought about it sounded completely ridiculous. Why should anyone who's not part of my family or one of my friends give a damn about something they can't relate to/that only I can 100% relate to? Maybe this is mostly about me having a deficiency elsewhere in life, and it's simply manifested itself this way. And I think this is kind of what @OrangeAppled was saying (sorry if I interpreted it wrong) - I need to try to immerse myself in hobbies with people who have common interests. Not going to lie, it might still be nice to get praise, but at least then I know it's because I'm doing something I care about. I don't believe I would have realized this -- at least not so soon -- without hearing from you all. So, thank you ^-^

    I'm not going to say I don't care anymore. But now that I have a better understanding, I currently feel a lot better as a result.

    Thank you all so much. I'll read the other posts later on.
    Last edited by Polterguise; 01-08-2016 at 04:27 AM.
    Benny and Larch thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INFJ - The Protectors

    You don't sound egotistical at all. Just kinda weary and confused...and for that, I give you a snug. <snug>

    I'm going to ramble a bit here.

    Thanks are kinda weird--not just here, as I've noticed it on other forums, too. Posts that I put a lot of effort into and are well-drawn out and thoughtful don't always get a lot of thanks, while posts that I kinda zip out in a few minutes do. Can be quite an ego dampener, you're right.

    But I think all that says more about the people reading the posts than it does about you, and that might help to remember. AKA, in general, people tend to skim--so many times I see threads where the first few posts have 10+ thanks, while the ones at the tail end only have one or two. Or long posts are ignored while little one-liners everyone reads. Other times, there was another poster who said it more succinctly or clearly than you did despite you both having the same great ideas, or you posted right before the thread turned over into a new page and so your post didn't get read by very many people, or your post was not phrased towards a more general audience so not as many people identified with it...and...yeah. You'll nitpick yourself to death trying to figure out why people give thanks away. The masses are fickle.

    Also remember, just one person thanking your post still means one person found it meaningful enough to reach out to you. It's like that story, of the guy who was throwing starfish back into the ocean after a mass of them got swept onto the beach from a hurricane. Another guy walked by and asked him what he was doing, said he couldn't possibly make a dent in all those starfish throwing them back one by one. But the guy just reached down, plucked another one up and flung it back into the water, and said "Well, I made a difference to that one." To the world you're one person; to one person, you could be the world. Trick to life is to find those people and stick to them like glue, I think.

    One more thought. Maybe instead of worrying about whether someone reacted to you in a certain way, maybe ask yourself what you think about yourself is wrong/shameful/etc to begin with? When I'm craving validation, I feel kinda "holey". Vulnerable. Somewhere deep down, I'm not okay with who I am or how I'm presenting myself, and so I want someone to come over and make it all better! And you know, that's fine. That's very human. And to some extent, I think it makes our bonds with other people stronger--just like we enjoy helping people, other people are usually happy if they can help us, too. But it's also good if you can figure out the need and fulfill it yourself. Then the attention anyone gives you is like icing on the cake.

    I also notice if I feel "holey" a LOT around a certain crew, they're probably a toxic group to be around, and I'm better off without. Why would you want to be liked by people who aren't all that nice to begin with?
    Last edited by Aizar; 01-09-2016 at 02:53 AM.
    Larch, Polterguise and Benny thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Here are some rules:

    Everyone desires validation.
    Not everyone actively seeks validation.
    Different personalities generally value different characteristics/abilities
    You tend to appreciate in others the characterstics/abilities you value in yourself.
    You tend to desire the values you value to be validated, moreso than values you value less.
    You tend to appreciate validation more if it comes from someone that has the characteristic/ability that's the subject of the validation (if a smart person tells you you're smart, it means more than if a stupid person tells you you're smart).
    Your self image is influenced by validation.
    The degree of your self image tend to be closely correlated to your degree of your happiness.

    This means:

    Validation can contribute to your degree of happiness.
    When you make a friend with someone who shares your values, you're more likely to recieve the validation you desire most.



    I'm sure there are more 'rules' when it comes to validation. Feel free to add them.
    Polterguise thanked this post.


     
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 14
    Last Post: 09-14-2015, 07:33 AM
  2. [ENTP] confirmation seeking/ attention seeking/ approval seeking
    By ches in forum ENTP Forum- The Visionaries
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 09-01-2015, 01:52 AM
  3. [INFP] External Validation vs Internal/Self Validation
    By sensei.of.slow in forum INFP Forum - The Idealists
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 11-18-2014, 03:30 PM
  4. [INFJ] Need Of Self-Validation
    By Miss Prince in forum INFJ Forum - The Protectors
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 04-14-2013, 03:34 AM
  5. [INFP] validation
    By unicornparty in forum INFP Forum - The Idealists
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 11-30-2010, 07:14 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:30 AM.
Information provided on the site is meant to complement and not replace any advice or information from a health professional.
© 2014 PersonalityCafe
 

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0