[INFP] Did somthing really stupid today, now i dont know how i feel

Did somthing really stupid today, now i dont know how i feel

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This is a discussion on Did somthing really stupid today, now i dont know how i feel within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; So today, i did it, i tried to top myself, im sorry to share this on here but i dont ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Did somthing really stupid today, now i dont know how i feel

    So today, i did it, i tried to top myself, im sorry to share this on here but i dont really have many people i can turn to.Ive been on Citalopram now for 7 months, first 10mg, then 20, and the last 2 weeks ive been trying 30mg which has made me more tired, but i hoped it would get better.

    I was thinking alot about my girlfriend who i split up for 3 weeks ago, badly missing her. I hate how bad i am with relationships in genral, i hate how much of a mess i get in when somone who i like, love and miss has enough of me and goes.I feel such a burden on everything, being the way i am, and im just sick of going on.Ive been googling ways i can do it, and im quite sure i will, this is the 2nd time ive tried in 2 weeks and each time im trying somthing more stupid.I hate things mess me up and just coming to a end with everything

    Im sorry for such a negative post
    ImminentThunder, Peachmari, Nienna and 6 others thanked this post.

  2. #2
    INFP - The Idealists

    I just want to say that I'm glad you shared this, and that it must be difficult to be trying so many ways to feel better and still have it so rough...

    Did you get a prescription from an MD, or a psychiatrist?

  3. #3
    Unknown Personality

    You have NOTHING to apologize for! Be as negative as you feel you need to be and get it all out. We're here for you, man.

    I'm sorry you're hurting :(
    Up and Away, JoCZker, Up and Away and 20 others thanked this post.

  4. #4

    That antidepressant is not helping it seems. I am more depressed since they put me on it, but was taking it to decrease anxiety. It was vice versa with Zoloft. Same group of antidepressants, very chemically similar, but I am more tired and more depressed and dizzy. I am fixing to change it to something else. You are a young person and in young people some antidepressants could cause suicidal side-effects. Oxymoronic I know. But, most likely you should change your medication and see a psychiatrist again asap. I remember you mentioned this medication and you should be feeling better not worse with it. A month and more past already (usually 2-4 weeks when those meds start working). A clinical psychologist would be better who can prescribe meds and provide a talk therapy, and it would be best to seek one who does cognitive-behavioral therapy. Do not isolate and be alone for a few days. Every time you feel the impulse call someone for help. A suicide hotline perhaps. It is hard dealing with depression and the break up when you are already depressed. I wish that you feel better soon! Stay away from things that are making you even more depressed.
    Up and Away, Up and Away, Up and Away and 16 others thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFP - The Idealists

    It sounds like you're in a very dark place. Is there anyone in your life that you would feel comfortable talking to about how you're feeling? Because I don't think you should have to go through this alone. From one human being to another, I truly hope that you can make it through this and you will be in my thoughts.
    Last edited by Luke; 01-28-2012 at 12:55 AM.
    Nienna, yitznewton, IcarusDreams and 3 others thanked this post.

  6. #6

    I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I know it takes more than that. In any case, we need more INFPs, not less. Please stick around a while. Best wishes from a stranger.
    Nienna, Diamondeyes, Ode to Trees and 3 others thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFP - The Idealists

    I really think its important that you let someone know about your struggles and what you are feeling right now. Call a hotline, or speak to a doctor, or speak to someone you can confide in that can help you.

    Don't feel guilty. People with depression often feel needless guilt. You are not a burden and I'm sure you have plenty of wonderful thing to share with the world.

    This too shall pass. These feelings are be temporary. Hang in there!

  8. #8
    INFP - The Idealists

    Just gonna say i've been their. not their their never had a break up but their as in suicidal nothing matters i'm a fuck up i should kill myself, people will just stop me if i told them. it gets better, that's all i can say really. it does, it's impossible to believe i wouldn't believe it, it took going to the psych ward and even than i still didn't believe but a year later i'm not suicidal oh prpl shut up this about him he's suffering. I'm sorry.
    ethylester thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INFP - The Idealists

    I'm also in a difficult place right now. To the point- I'm feeling trapped, like I have no control over my life... and I so know what you mean. You sound very neurotic like me. I felt a lot better once I spoke to my parents (which was uncomfortable), but they showed me that they cared and wanted to help, and it made me feel better...
    I urge you to talk it out with someone. But then again, who would you talk too? You don't want to talk to someone who can't understand or relate and who'll give you some crappy advice. Why not try talking to a psychologist or something? No disrespect there friend. I'm not saying your crazy! Your just, an INFP man, like us. Were obviously not on a personal level with you, more of a friendly stranger kind of thing but we can understand, and want to help!
    For what it's worth, some of the INFPs on here are like bloody psychologists (even if they don't have degrees in it), and they're INFP too, so your in the right place.
    20111017, Nienna and refugee thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFP - The Idealists

    First off I want to wish you all the best with this. The only thing I can say is that I do understand where you are right now and the assurance that it does get better and life will seem like it's worth living when you get through the dark. I've been on many different antidepressants but, not for depression.

    They are one way they have of treating my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/M.E. Many of them have really bad side effects which is why I now avoid them and just deal with the pain on a day to day basis.

    Last year was a bad year for me, I'd been living beside the neighbours from hell for about a year and a half. Non stop partying, yelling, screaming and fist fights/threats broken windows, the threat of physical violence every time I wanted to leave the house. . On top of this I was suffering pretty bad anxiety because of bullying and bitching by the two girls who shared a field with me where I keep my pony and donkey. So my lovely (and she was brilliant!) GP prescribed me Citalopram and wrote to the council on my behalf about the neighbors behavior.

    She recommended I start like you on the 10mg dose. I took one tablet and never took another, I was so sick for two weeks on that one tablet alone. The rest went in the bin. I am not saying you should stop your antidepressants but you do need to find one that works well for you and it's quite obvious that this one doesn't agree. I really do think it's those that are giving you the suicidal thoughts.

    If I am ever at a point where I need to take them again I will be requesting prozac which is really the only one that doesn't make me feel really dreadful.

    I also went for some counselling and it really does help when you are in a bad place to talk to someone. I prefer to talk to a stranger personally in a setting like this because I feel safer, and you know that you can say anything you want without it going anywhere else.

    Please make that appointment soon to talk to someone about your tablets and how you feel. It is urgent you do that now and get this sorted asap!

    Good luck.
    Nienna and Ode to Trees thanked this post.

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