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Insecurities.

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This is a discussion on Insecurities. within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I feel like I bore people and talk about stuff people don't really care about I don't have any really ...

  1. #11
    INFP - The Idealists

    I feel like I bore people and talk about stuff people don't really care about
    I don't have any really close friends that I talk to all the time and am totally comfortable with anymore
    Very socially insecure
    I have a love/hate relationship with solitude. I enjoy being uninterrupted by people when I want to just ponder life and occasionally write, but if it's for much longer than a couple days *coughspringbreakcough* I end up feeling like a complete loser and ironically everybody starts to piss me off despite the fact that I "want" to be around people. Also I have no transportation and not much control over who happens to be available to talk, and nobody my age is around my neighborhood right now, not really anything I have control over and thus I am not actually a loser, but try telling my Fe that.
    Nienna, Theodore, Babieca and 2 others thanked this post.

  2. #12
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by basementbugs View Post
    I often wish I could simply be a mind without a physical body. It would be so freeing...
    I was contemplating this exact same thought in the car last week. And yeah, I think it would be so freeing.

  3. #13

    My parents, basically. (Besides what everyone said above cause all of it more or less applies to me)

    I don't like having friends over, and I definitely do NOT like having a boyfriend over. I'm honestly worried about the day I have to introduce them to my SO.
    Nostalgic, Theodore, Babieca and 1 others thanked this post.

  4. #14

    Quote Originally Posted by kaleidoscope View Post
    ...I definitely do NOT like having a boyfriend over. I'm honestly worried about the day I have to introduce them to my SO.
    I had a huuuuge amount of anxiety surrounding my parents meeting the guy who's now my husband. (It's a long and messed-up story as to why, involving lots of unexplainable emotions on my part.) They didn't get to meet him until eight months after we were engaged (though they both knew of his existence by that time). I was in a relationship with him for five months before I told my mum and 11 months before my dad found out (I didn't tell him, he learned through my mum eventually). We also got married without them knowing, although they knew him fairly well by that point. They found out about our marriage when my favourite musician (who is now a good friend of mine) announced it on stage and then dedicated a song to me and my husband at a concert the four of us attended together. (Random factoid: Our first wedding anniversary is in ten days.)

    Yep, I'm an odd one...
    Cable, Theodore and INFPgirl thanked this post.

  5. #15

    Just about all of the above. I can't even come here in anything less than a sterling mood without wondering why so-and-so-who-I-don't-even-know didn't respond to whatchamawhosit and whether I said something stupid/insensitive/boring, etc. I can go weeks or months without lapsing into that cycle but when I'm in it, I'm in it, and right now I'm in it. Insecurity is the great bogeyman of my life. It's not wanted, it's uninvited, and it's to no good purpose, but it happens anyway almost independently of my conscious mind. There must be some long ago evolutionary purpose it served, but whatever it is, it's totally useless to me. If I could take my brain out and punt it like a football, I would have done so long ago.

    Insecurity is a douchebag.
    Nienna, Oh_no_she_DIDNT, INFPgirl and 1 others thanked this post.

  6. #16
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by perinhawk View Post
    I feel like I bore people and talk about stuff people don't really care about
    I don't have any really close friends that I talk to all the time and am totally comfortable with anymore
    Very socially insecure
    I have a love/hate relationship with solitude. I enjoy being uninterrupted by people when I want to just ponder life and occasionally write, but if it's for much longer than a couple days *coughspringbreakcough* I end up feeling like a complete loser and ironically everybody starts to piss me off despite the fact that I "want" to be around people. Also I have no transportation and not much control over who happens to be available to talk, and nobody my age is around my neighborhood right now, not really anything I have control over and thus I am not actually a loser, but try telling my Fe that.
    DITTO! Dude, I'm in your EXACT situation.
    perinhawk thanked this post.

  7. #17
    INFP - The Idealists

    my inability to come up with a list of insecurities.
    Leni and LordRuin thanked this post.

  8. #18
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Isildin View Post
    Are you trying to tell me you can be insecure about one thing, yet be confident about other stuff?
    I'm not sure i believe you :o
    You can in this context;

    Bago thanked this post.

  9. #19
    INFP - The Idealists

    This thread makes me sad because it's true.
    I love myself in ways but I don't fit in anywhere.
    Nostalgic and Lackjester thanked this post.

  10. #20
    INFP - The Idealists

    I can relate to almost everyone's posts to some degree, but

    Quote Originally Posted by basementbugs View Post
    Am I allowed to say 'everything'? It's not untrue; I'm a very insecure person for the most part, and terrified of getting hurt by being judged, disliked and/or rejected. It's held me back from doing a lot of things in life.
    Quote Originally Posted by Theodore View Post
    Just about all of the above. I can't even come here in anything less than a sterling mood without wondering why so-and-so-who-I-don't-even-know didn't respond to whatchamawhosit and whether I said something stupid/insensitive/boring, etc. I can go weeks or months without lapsing into that cycle but when I'm in it, I'm in it, and right now I'm in it. Insecurity is the great bogeyman of my life. It's not wanted, it's uninvited, and it's to no good purpose, but it happens anyway almost independently of my conscious mind. There must be some long ago evolutionary purpose it served, but whatever it is, it's totally useless to me.

    So damn exactly these... my incredible 'ability' of being insecure even in the internet frustrates me so much (it should be easier, shouldn't it?).
    It causes a lot of overthinking and affects my self esteem badly... just thinking of all the things I didn't say or do because of self doubt makes me cringe.

    I also had a lot of problems with my appearance when I was a teen, but somehow it eased a little with time... but my main problem is feeling like I'm not likeable enough, either for not being fun enough, interesting enough, smart enough, attractive enough, yadda yadda... the list goes on...
    I'm a core 9, but I strongly relate to that feeling associated with 4s.. of being somehow defective or lacking something. I always felt like a pretty average person.. not being remarkable in anything.

    I wish there could be a way I could work on it, but simply knowing and telling myself it's all in my head and trying to act more confidently don't work. :/
    Last edited by Nienna; 04-11-2012 at 09:57 AM. Reason: and of course, I have to edit this post a million times
    Theodore, Vivid Sunset and INFPgirl thanked this post.


     
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