My Clothes Are Also A Napkin!
Only the Good Die Young: How I Lived to be the Oldest Person in History
Dead and Berried: Memoirs of SoCal's #1 Fruit Waster
I'm Not Poor but Many of My Decisions Are
Most Things Don't Take That Long: A Guide for Chronic Overplanners
Know When to Fold 'Em: Making Peace with Your Clothes Pile
If You're Reading This You're Weak: Freeing Yourself From Self-Help Books
Perpendicular: The Art of Storing Books So You Can Continue Hoarding
Fewer Words, Greater Authority: Managing People With A Blank Stare (Alternate title: "Bitch Slap With Your Eyes")
Using Pinterest to Construct an Unlikely But Not Impossible Dream Life
Analyze This... and That: A Guide to Complexly Deconstructing EVERYTHING
When Do You Have To: Realistic Advice on When to Tie Your Shoes, Call People Back, and More!
Be the Meanest Mom Possible! (forward written by my kid)
Google Search Would Beat My Mom In A Game Show About Me (and Vice Versa)
Index to Total Daily Dosages for Most OTC drugs
One-Handed Activity Books for the Following Scenarios:Cat Laying Across Your Arm In Order to Lick Your PocketPut It In "H": A Simpsons Quote for Every Occasion
Cat Insistent on Being Pet
Dog Insistent on Being Pet (much shorter)
Eating a Burrito
Reading an Actual Book That Maybe You're Bored Of
Using a Remote to Surf Sunday Morning T.V.
Phone Call from Boss 10 Minutes After Getting Home From Work
Phone Call from Lonely Friend/Relative
Texting Friend Who Never Solves Their Only (Yet Recurring) Problem
Feet Aren't Delicious - this would actually be a reminder book that looks like an address book (look it up, youngsters!) but only tells you what topics you shouldn't bring up around certain people e.g. deceased parents, infertility, breakups (with applicable "expiration dates"), plastic surgeries, litigation, etc. so you don't accidentally mention them/that topic/make jokes.