[INTJ] INTJ friend is clinically depressed/anxious, how one can support getting healthier? - Page 2

INTJ friend is clinically depressed/anxious, how one can support getting healthier?

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This is a discussion on INTJ friend is clinically depressed/anxious, how one can support getting healthier? within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; I'd say the most important thing for you to do is stay in contact with your friend. You will probably ...

  1. #11
    INTJ - The Scientists

    I'd say the most important thing for you to do is stay in contact with your friend. You will probably have to do most of the planning and initiate most of the contact. It won't mean that he doesn't need your friendship, just that depression makes people passive. Your friend needs contact with people, it is really important.

    If you can get him outside the house and doing something stimulating, that is great. But don't push too hard - him feeling pressured is not what you want. As for being positive, that is great, but again, don't go so overboard that he feels pressured to be the same way.

    Just be a friend. You can't make the depression go away, but you can be a positive presence in his life, and he needs that just as much as the Zoloft.
    EyesOpen, LittleMermaid, StarryNiTe and 2 others thanked this post.

  2. #12

    It looks like he's seeking treatment and that's all that one can really expect out of someone with a clinical disorder. If he's not getting better the way you think he should, understand that getting on the right "cocktail" can take a while sometimes. As long as he's honest with his doctor about how he's feeling, his doctor should be able to put him on the best combination for him.

  3. #13

    Quote Originally Posted by Red Panda View Post
    Oh, I see. I take it the opioid is for the anxiety or to sleep? Zoloft can cause insomnia, my doc didn't want to prescribe any sleep medication so she told me to drink triple chamomille tea (3 bags in 1 cup) and it helped a lot tbh. This effect usually lasts until Zoloft's action kicks in, which usually takes a month since you start taking it. Every time you increase the dose it takes at least a couple of weeks for the effects to be visible. I personally settled at 75mg because 100mg made me numb. But that's just how it worked on me.
    All in all, I took it so it would help me deal with therapy because talking was very difficult and emotional and I couldn't do it. I hope he understands he needs to do therapy and not just rely on the drug entirely.
    It's for his anxiety, he says the Zoloft makes him sleepy. Lol he doesn't believe in 'herbal medicine.' Even though it works and herbs are actually in many chemically based medicines.
    Yes, he sees a psychiatrist (as far as I know you can only get Zoloft prescribed unless it's illegally obtained). He hates going and also has a hard time talking to people who aren't close to him.
    Honestly I don't think so, of course he could have changed his mind since then but he told me therapy doesn't help him but I could give it a shot since I like to talk through my problems (when I was asking for advice on it).
    Thanks for sharing, it's nice to know someone has had positive experiences with it, logically I know many have or they probably wouldn't distribute it but it's still nice to hear.
    Judson Joist thanked this post.

  4. #14

    @Green Girl

    I agree, I'll definitely make sure that he's knows I'm here and stay in contact.
    Mmmm I can try to get him to go out but honestly we mostly hangout in my apt, watching movies, documentaries, or YouTube crack. Or we play video games and make food together, etc. When we do go out (before his depression and anxiety peaked) I'd have to explain why it would be fun to go together lol. But again, I'll try really I've been too afraid to ask.
    Yea, I've noticed a lot of my INTJ friends sometimes take my positivity as a signal that they should be too because I don't always agree with their outlook. I'll be careful not to go overboard, the last thing I'd want is to cause him strife because of my actions.
    @brightflashes
    I know, I know. I've kept my mouth shut, I'm not going to say anything to discourage him from seeking medication because he might need it. Also he's off his first opioid so that's good enough for me, the new opioid might be temporary as well. As you said the right combo will take time and I'm not going to hinder the process with my opinions. Plus he feels the same way about opioids and I'm sure he told his doctor that.
    Last edited by Short Cake Cake; 01-09-2018 at 03:33 PM.
    Green Girl and StarryNiTe thanked this post.

  5. #15

    Quote Originally Posted by Short Cake Cake View Post
    I know, I know. I've kept my mouth shut, I'm not going to say anything to discourage him from seeking medication because he might need it. Also he's off xanax so that's good enough for me, the new opioid might be temporary as well. As you said the right combo will take time and I'm not going to hinder the process with my opinions. Plus he feels the same way about opioids and I'm sure he told his doctor that.
    Aw, I didn't think you'd hinder the process anyway. Really, Green Girl's response was awesome - just being there for him and making certain he's not isolating himself will go far. I was thinking about it from my perspective - I take meds for clinical depression, anxiety, and insomnia. I know it seems like a lot, but what works best for me is a combination of 4 pills. Pills like xanax, for example, affect those with anxiety way differently than they'd affect an un-anxious person (though xanax is usually prescribed short term since they're not very effective for long term management - they stop working after about 2-4 hours).

    The hardest thing for me was admitting to myself that I actually needed medication and that it wasn't taking the "easy way" out at all. My form of depression just can't be maintained without these medications. And I'm much much better for it. When I think of the way I was when I wasn't taking meds, I just think man, I am glad I got on meds and was ok with being on meds once I had kids because I wouldn't want my kids around me unmedicated. It's just how it is. With meds, I'm perfectly fine. Without them, the symptoms come back. Given that I'm 37 and have been working on this stuff since I was 15 through therapy and just about every other thing one can imagine, I just know that's what works for me. So, just know, if the meds start helping him, one thing that can go far is to let him know that you don't think he's weak or anything for taking them. I mean, let him know that you're so happy that he was brave enough to try them, you know? Because it's really hard at first when dealing with a clinical disorder to realize that you can't handle it yourself.

    And, just letting you know, I take a benzodiazepine which is the same class as xanax. I've never felt "high" on it or goofy or anything. For me, it helps me be "normal". So, if he gets prescribed a benzodiazepine for his anxiety, it's a pretty common thing to prescribe and a responsible doctor won't put him on a dose that isn't reasonable.

    PS - I LOVE short cake cake!
    Green Girl, Judson Joist and Short Cake Cake thanked this post.

  6. #16

    it's a truism but i think the best/only thing is just be there. not 'help', not try to 'ease', not nothing. just be accepting. neutral, even. he's got fears and he's got stuff and he's got his own landscape, and most probably just having someone around is as good as it gets.

    it's not your job to fix his depression - but also, it is not your depression to fix. it's his. and the same goes for 'easing' it too. i think it's a big deal to many people who do have it, just to be around someone else who doesn't 'do' anything about it, actually. who isn't invested, who isn't appalled, who sees it for what it is and can (basically) live with it as it is. may depend on the person, but i've had mostly that kind of experience.

    the other thing is: you need to monitor your investment and expenditure so you don't overextend for your own needs. seriously. i know nobody does find the truth of their own limits except by go-there-do-that experience, but i think it's really important.

    so you asked for 'experience' and this is mine. i don't mean this in a cold way, but if i had to deal again with somebody who's severely and clinically depressed, i would start earlier with reminding myself of one thing: this person can [most probably] give you nothing. and i would be reminding myself of it more often. it's just a way of keeping yourself honest and staying within your own limits so the entire thing is more sustainable for a more consistent long term.
    Green Girl and Short Cake Cake thanked this post.

  7. #17

    @brightflashes

    That's great and I have no problems with medication, my younger sister is 16 and takes medication and her anxiety is much better than before. Yea, I believe the xanax was just to get him some kind of relief after he had a breakdown. Thank you for sharing, I'll definitely make sure he knows I don't think of him as weak. It's insane that people think that, no one would call me weak for taking my asthma medication.

    Yea, honestly my initial worry was when he was talking about his opioid medication and he was acting paranoid and more depressed than usual. Idk if it was just all in our heads or he just wasn't used to the medications yet so it was making him act oddly. I am happy he's taken this step and is getting treatment. If my ENTJ friend got hers sooner she wouldn't have had to go through a 5150 and just horrible hell for so long. Everyone deserves to be as healthy as they can be.

    Lol dessert is my first love


    @lilysocks

    Hmmm I'm not sure what neutral looks like in this situation. He's not the kind of person who would ask for my opinion on his medication and even when he was talking about opioids or just his meds I only agreed if what he said was true. He'd probably find it odd if I stopped giving my opinion since I have a lot.

    That's true, that's what my mom was worried about when she said I should just 'cut him loose,' I do often try to do too much when it's not even my problem to fix. I think I will just be there for him.
    Ah, yea...I think I should be ok. I usually have really good care of my own mental health and well being but I hear you. Also nothing better than someone trying to be a support then turning around saying they are stressed supporting you.

    I agree with that, I don't think he can give me anything right now and I don't expect it. Strangely the idea of love vs. attachment came up in the ENFP forum and I do think I 'love' him (platonically). I feel that way about the few close friends I have, I just want them to be happy and if it's with my presence great if it doesn't include me then that's ok too. Luckily I have other friends and family members to help me if I need it. Thank you for the reminder though, knowing limitations is important and tbh at first I did feel overwhelmed but I took a step back.
    Green Girl, lilysocks and StarryNiTe thanked this post.

  8. #18
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Just being there and engaging in activities with him might be enough. It could be a walk in the park, hiking in the woods, or a movie. More often than not, it's the simple things that facilitate soul-healing. If he's accepting of physical touch, give him lots of glomps and noogies. X3 Be playful. Engage his sensation. Maybe even be a little teasing with it. It might help him get "genki" (as I like to say). The best cure for depression is mania.

    Note: Anxiety can help amp up our reflexes.
    Green Girl and Short Cake Cake thanked this post.

  9. #19

    Quote Originally Posted by Judson Joist View Post
    Just being there and engaging in activities with him might be enough. It could be a walk in the park, hiking in the woods, or a movie. More often than not, it's the simple things that facilitate soul-healing. If he's accepting of physical touch, give him lots of glomps and noogies. X3 Be playful. Engage his sensation. Maybe even be a little teasing with it. It might help him get "genki" (as I like to say). The best cure for depression is mania.

    Note: Anxiety can help amp up our reflexes.
    Lol genki. I'm half Japanese (from Japan) and I love that some Americans ( Idk if you are) use Japanese hahaha.
    And thanks I'll do that.
    Judson Joist thanked this post.

  10. #20
    Unknown

    Let him know youíre there for him if he wants to talk but donít pressure him to talk abt whatever.

    Give him time to sort out his own stuff

    Otherwise just be how u normally would.

    Canít say abt evrryyone but thatís how Iíd want to be treated if I were him.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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