My INTJ friend has clinical depression/anxiety ,he is taking Zoloft now and I forgot the second one, it's starts with the letter A...
This question is mostly for those who have dealt with heavy depression themselves or perhaps knows someone.
How would you like to be comforted and supported? What have you learned over the years that works for you or someone you know to help ease their depression?
I have not asked him yet what he wants me to do, he seems so fragile now. He makes jokes about taking Zoloft but I know he's scared. He has not said this outright but anyone can tell as he's starting to talk about opioids and the addictive nature of it, how people die, etc. He told me he hoped he wouldn't be found in an alley somewhere. He's saying that the medication makes him feel nothing, care about nothing but that's better than having anxiety. I wish I could understand but I don't, he's 19 years old I don't think he needs Zoloft. My Aunt is 44 and I saw what it did to her. Obviously I have not voiced this, why elevate his fears and it's not exactly constructive...
I did tell his mother I feared that he might be getting worse and she told me I was sweet but to trust the doctor. It's been over a month, I realize that still early but they have increased his dosage of Zoloft at least 3x (that he's told me, not sure if he's told me every time).
I know I'm not meant to hold his hand through life but I am worried, I feel a little bit in over my head as I don't think Zoloft is the best for him. Sometimes he acts like an empty shell and he feels nothing about everything he was so passionate about. His depression seems much worse, he also told me he is deficient in vitamin D which I'm sure doesn't help his depression. I know I'm not a doctor but I know many people on medication and that's not always the best option and this was his first choice.
*As a side not I do not want to dump him as a friend, I don't abandon friends when they are at their lowest. My mother suggested I cut him loose as I always seems to give too much of myself to a depressed friend. (I've had maybe 5 friends who have been clinically depressed, one was cutting and burning herself for years (ENTJ) without me noticing, I never want to let someone down like that again. I feel like he would just spiral like her without me noticing until late)
So far I have been acting 'normally' maybe a tad more chipper than usual. Every time he says something negative about the world I spin a positive, the only time I don't say something positive is when it directly relates to him. I want to acknowledge he is feeling sad. I've also been giving him hugs, physical touch can illicit oxytocin and idk if it's wishful thinking but it seems to help because he keeps touching me and letting me hug him, whereas before sometimes he'd be stiff as a board...like ENFP hug...does not compute. Hahaha