What next?...

What next?...

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This is a discussion on What next?... within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; ...

  1. #1

    What next?...

    Iíve been posting a lot on this forum lately about a girl I like, and today I finally got the courage to ask her out. Well, not really ask her out because I was trying to be less subtle. But once again, Iím even more confused than at the beginning.

    Okay, so today was basically me figuring out whether to ext this girl or not, until I finally gathered the courage earlier today. I asked her: ďHey, do you wanna come with me to the cinema tonight; they finally show a good move? (smiley)Ē. And after four minutes she replied: ďHeyyy, I canít, I have religious education at 6:30, and later I need to continue studying for the chemistry test because otherwise Iím gonna fail (facepalm)(grinning face)Ē. Btw, with religious education (idk how to call it), itís like a Catholic thing where you learn more about the faith I think; Iím not sure because Iíve never gone to that.

    Now I need help from my fellow INTJís to know wtf happened. I thought she was interested because of various of signals, but now Iím confused... Did she politely reject me, or is she really busy? I mean, I basically asked her this night (only this night), and if she is busy, she still couldnít have offered another date since they only show the movie once. Or am I wrong?
    VinnieBob thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INTJ

    Is she an ISTP?

  3. #3

    she is religious
    religion forbids same sex whatevers

    sounds like she be blowin you off
    tell her next time you got's big black strap on you haven't broken in yet

    I 'members back in college this grrl I axed out
    she be sayin she couldn't go out wit me 'cause she had to wash her hair

    I replied '' Jesus fucking christ [yes that really is his middle name] aren't you supposed to do that before the date
    INTJ_female and jtour thanked this post.

  4. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by Liove View Post
    Is she an ISTP?
    I don't know. Why? :) I think she's an INFP, but she could be an ISTP, I'm not sure.

  5. #5
    INTJ

    Quote Originally Posted by INTJ_female View Post
    I don't know. Why? :) I think she's an INFP, but she could be an ISTP, I'm not sure.
    She might just be busy, literally. There might not be any secret meaning or motivation behind what she said.

    Ask when the busy-ness will be over, and try again then. Also make sure that the activity you offer is one where you're both not physically fixed to a specific spot. Try a walk along the pier, park, etc. I dunno. What you offered sounds too formal and date-like.
    INTJ_female thanked this post.

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by vinniebob View Post
    she is religious
    religion forbids same sex whatevers

    sounds like she be blowin you off
    tell her next time you got's big black strap on you haven't broken in yet

    I 'members back in college this grrl I axed out
    she be sayin she couldn't go out wit me 'cause she had to wash her hair

    I replied '' Jesus fucking christ [yes that really is his middle name] aren't you supposed to do that before the date
    Well, I know; and it also makes sense. But still, why would she follow lesbians on Instagram if she's religious... And pluss, she doesn't seem so relgious when I talk to her lol, more like anti if you ask me. I mean, everyone in this country go to that, whether religious or not. There's even a gay guy in class that goes to it. I don't, because I'm just here as an exchange student for a year thank God.

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Liove View Post
    She might just be busy, literally. There might not be any secret meaning or motivation behind what she said.

    Ask when the busy-ness will be over, and try again then. Also make sure that the activity you offer is one where you're both not physically fixed to a specific spot. Try a walk along the pier, park, etc. I dunno. What you offered sounds too formal and date-like.
    That's what I originally planned to do. I don't know why I even asked her today; it just felt right, but as soon as I sent her the message I just wanted to throw the phone out of the window... But I'm thinking about asking her one last time if she wanna take a run together or idk. Just to be sure, because I always need to know 100% lol :D

  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by INTJ_female View Post
    Well, I know; and it also makes sense. But still, why would she follow lesbians on Instagram if she's religious... And pluss, she doesn't seem so relgious when I talk to her lol, more like anti if you ask me. I mean, everyone in this country go to that, whether religious or not. There's even a gay guy in class that goes to it. I don't, because I'm just here as an exchange student for a year thank God.
    does she live at home under the influence of her sperm donors?
    if so she might be afraid of the impact
    I'm guessin you both be in yer 20's
    that is a hard age for sexual orientation acceptance
    ask her out for some clams, your treat

    since you played your card I would back off and let her contact you
    keep your options open too
    we NT's can focus on one thing too long
    Last edited by VinnieBob; 02-24-2018 at 11:17 AM.
    INTJ_female, Liove and Blue Flower thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INTJ

    Quote Originally Posted by INTJ_female View Post
    That's what I originally planned to do. I don't know why I even asked her today; it just felt right, but as soon as I sent her the message I just wanted to throw the phone out of the window... But I'm thinking about asking her one last time if she wanna take a run together or idk. Just to be sure, because I always need to know 100% lol :D
    I can definitely relate to this "need to know", but it, more often than not, gets misinterpreted as being pushy and controlling.

    I would strongly warn against it because you might turn her off and make her flee from you.

    Do go ahead and ask her for a run, but do it after her busy period.
    INTJ_female thanked this post.

  10. #10

    Quote Originally Posted by vinniebob View Post
    does she live at home under the influence of her sperm donors?
    if so she might be afraid of the impact
    I'm guessin you both be in yer 20's
    that is a hard age for sexual orientation acceptance
    ask her out for some clams, your treat
    I've done some research (as I always do) and I found out that her family were a *host family* for a lesbian student form Italy that did an exchange year three years ago. She's friends with her on social media, and even liked all the pictures from pride. And yes, she still lives at home with her mom and sister (I've never seen her dad actually lol). They seem like a gay-friendly family, but ofc idk.

    Nice guess, but I actually just turned 18, and she's 17 (next month); so we're both pretty young. I would guess that she's afraid that some ppl from school will found out she's gay, so that's why she never shows attractions when among classmates. But whenever we're alone or when she's with her mum, it's like a whole other world. So my guess, maybe she's too afraid to be seen with me. That just sounded wrong, but I meant since literally the whole school knows I'm lesbian (there's just 70 pupils :D).

    I'm thinking about asking her when the tourists starts to come, since when there's lot of people, no one will notice us being together.
    Last edited by INTJ_female; 02-24-2018 at 11:25 AM.


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