[INTJ] ENFP Going On First Ever Date With An INTJ - Page 3

ENFP Going On First Ever Date With An INTJ

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This is a discussion on ENFP Going On First Ever Date With An INTJ within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by Lucan1010 I really can't answer on the frequency aspect of your question, because everyone is different. At ...

  1. #21
    ENFP

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucan1010 View Post
    I really can't answer on the frequency aspect of your question, because everyone is different. At least when we were dating, I don't think I ever initiated by just saying "hey". I'd always open with something about a mutual interest, a meme, or seeing how something in her life was going, or something from my life. That being said, before we were in a relationship I'd occasionally open with something like "Hey, how's life been". When we were dating, we talked almost every day, even if it was just brief. While again, everyone is different, I really don't think she'll be offended unless you do something she specifically asks you not to do.
    Perfect, you seem like an INFJ who has most of it together *thumbs up*

  2. #22

    Quote Originally Posted by Moby85 View Post
    Hey @Lucan1010 my experience with her so far seems very similar to yours. What I'd ask you would be was she offended if:

    1.) You went a few days without initiating?
    Absolutely not. She will appreciate you keeping things cool in this early stage. Especially with a 2nd date coming up.

    Quote Originally Posted by Moby85 View Post
    2.) You texted without a "purpose", IE. just to say hi?

    This entire post betrays that I'm overthinking but I am used to women, even introverts, initiating at least 50/50 by text.
    This is something that an INTJ would never do, but if you keep it rainbows and sparkles, it will charm her. Also, keep it short.

  3. #23
    ENTP

    Quote Originally Posted by Green Girl View Post
    Jokes are fine. But if she cares about something, best not to make fun of it, or act like you think it is foolish or unimportant.

    INTJ: "I read this great article about how you can tell what the ancient climate was like by looking at ice cores."

    Date: "Ice cores huh? I scraped lots of ice off the sidewalk today, I could send them that to test! That would sure screw up their tests! Ha ha!"

    INTJ: "Actually, that's not how --"

    Date: "Or send them the ice in our drinks! That would be great!"

    INTJ: "Sure. Hilarious. Hey, look at the time. I just remembered I've got to go. See you around."
    That was sarcastically :P .. I got that it was rude, I was just making a parody of it... "BUT THE JOKES??..."

    ANOTHER PARODY FOR INTJ WARNING :
    "IF YOU TAKE AWAY MY JOKES THEN I WILL LICK THAT ICE CORE"

    Bwam, bamboozled you he thought. And then the INTJ probably says something about the ice core that makes the ENTP regret of ever stating that he would lick the ice core. But he's in so deep that he rather licks that ice core at that point than admitting defeat. Especially after the INTJ showed a smile of "gotcha". The challenge has begun.
    Green Girl thanked this post.

  4. #24
    ENTP

    Quote Originally Posted by Moby85 View Post
    It did! Given the fact she's willing to go out again. I don't think an INTJ would waste their time or mine on a second date if they didn't see legitimate potential. Probably as expected, my current challenge is that she's terrible at initiating things over text, which I'm trying to get my head around lol. I'm used to better communicators and as an INTJ I know she needs lots of solitary time and doesn't want endless texting anyways. It doesn't bother me but it makes it tough to balance how much or how little communication with her is best between dates, right?
    Just tell her that it's okay to "not answer" immediately if you think you are "texting too much". I never could care honestly :P. By some time I'd send her a few books if she didn't answer and when she did I got a text like "Holy fuck, did you try to send me a book or something. I'll try to answer over the next three hours". On which I'd explained that I sometimes like sharing my mind as this is "intimate" for me but I don't expect "answer here and now". Or even by text today or the next. I hate texting myself (most of the time) but sometimes I want to share something (duhh) and we'll talk about it next time we see :P..

    My best advice would be to not overanalyze too much and just explain things. INTJ's tend to be relax and understanding as long as they are not put under expectations (or think that they are under any). If you put them under pressure with expectations they explode tho (read the warning sticker). So don't do that.
    Last edited by polluxs; 05-09-2019 at 01:35 PM. Reason: Forgot some stuff.

  5. #25
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by polluxs View Post
    That was sarcastically :P .. I got that it was rude, I was just making a parody of it... "BUT THE JOKES??..."

    ANOTHER PARODY FOR INTJ WARNING :
    "IF YOU TAKE AWAY MY JOKES THEN I WILL LICK THAT ICE CORE"

    Bwam, bamboozled you he thought. And then the INTJ probably says something about the ice core that makes the ENTP regret of ever stating that he would lick the ice core. But he's in so deep that he rather licks that ice core at that point than admitting defeat. Especially after the INTJ showed a smile of "gotcha". The challenge has begun.
    On the second date, he shows up with a blow torch.
    On the third date, she brings a cooler of dry ice.
    He responds with an invitation to death valley.
    She hands him tickets to an Alaskan cruise.
    A match made in heaven. Or hell. Neither is quite sure, but it will be a fun ride while they find out.
    g_w and polluxs thanked this post.

  6. #26

    Quote Originally Posted by D4P View Post
    Are you the same guy that posted last year in the INFJ Forum about the umpteen thousand INFJs you had dated? If so, perhaps your best strategy will be to focus less on getting "tips" and to spend some time instead considering what it is about yourself that is causing you to date so many people without finding a long-term relationship...
    This user goes through female specimen(s) like socks (via ridiculous posting history). I feel sorry for the girl.

    On another cue, OP you should not be dating period. You clearly have no clue what you are doing or what you want -- however if the female specimen is legitimately INTJ, she will take care of the nonsense for you and cut it short.

  7. #27
    ENFP

    Quote Originally Posted by Catwalk View Post
    This user goes through female specimen(s) like socks (via ridiculous posting history). I feel sorry for the girl.

    On another cue, OP you should not be dating period. You clearly have no clue what you are doing or what you want -- however if the female specimen is legitimately INTJ, she will take care of the nonsense for you and cut it short.
    You completely misunderstand me and what was going on. I was not a serial dater, I was someone who had made some miscues with INFJs attempting to date them and looking to avoid personality "landmines". This INTJ will see the authentic me, somehow horribly misconstrued on that old PerC post, and I hope she'll stick around. I know I will.

  8. #28
    ENTP

    Quote Originally Posted by Green Girl View Post
    On the second date, he shows up with a blow torch.
    On the third date, she brings a cooler of dry ice.
    He responds with an invitation to death valley.
    She hands him tickets to an Alaskan cruise.
    A match made in heaven. Or hell. Neither is quite sure, but it will be a fun ride while they find out.
    They don't even realize they are a match for 4 months. After that, the ENTP gets confused and asks (shy/confused). INTJ answers half-ass (shy/confused) as they sit there in a room that suddenly is a lot smaller. They are now officially dating (they guess) as they awkwardly say goodbye. Next morning they go back to blow torches and dry ice. #priorities

    Also, it is dangerous to "do a quick chat". I've had too many "Oh shit, it's 4 A.M. we need to go sleep." moments when we were "getting something from the kitchen". Mostly the INTJ's realization. This leads to a new conversation about the time-space continuum. At 6 A.M. they see light and just go to bed.

    P.S. Neither of them has the item from the kitchen they came for. They don't even remember what it was.
    Green Girl and g_w thanked this post.

  9. #29
    ENFP

    Quote Originally Posted by Catwalk View Post
    This user goes through female specimen(s) like socks (via ridiculous posting history). I feel sorry for the girl.

    On another cue, OP you should not be dating period. You clearly have no clue what you are doing or what you want -- however if the female specimen is legitimately INTJ, she will take care of the nonsense for you and cut it short.
    The INTJ ended up ghosting me when I tried to firm up plans for the second date. So you got your wish ;)
    No point following up with a text on how socially inappropriate ghosting is, I personally can't see an INTJ caring much if I replied with a scold. The decision was made for whatever reason and it's done.

    I do consider ghosting a reprehensible behavior by those unwilling to send a quick authentic note that they're not longer interested for whatever reason. It's only happened once before to me luckily, and I consider someone who does it to have the value somewhere between the HIV virus and a parasitic worm :)

  10. #30

    Quote Originally Posted by Moby85 View Post
    The INTJ ended up ghosting me when I tried to firm up plans for the second date. So you got your wish ;)
    It was not a wish, darling. Just a fact waiting to happen. Any caveman would have said same.

    No point following up with a text on how socially inappropriate ghosting is, I personally can't see an INTJ caring much if I replied with a scold. The decision was made for whatever reason and it's done.

    I do consider ghosting a reprehensible behavior by those unwilling to send a quick authentic note that they're not longer interested for whatever reason. It's only happened once before to me luckily, and I consider someone who does it to have the value somewhere between the HIV virus and a parasitic worm :)
    Back to the INFJ's, I reckon? The NFPs? Or perhaps we are feeling a little sensory now.


     
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