This is a discussion on ENFP Going On First Ever Date With An INTJ within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by Catwalk It was not a wish, darling. Just a fact waiting to happen. Any caveman would have ...
So...I'm floating this post tonight because the INTJ I went out with and ghosted me has reappeared. I have become a co-organizer of the MBTI Meetup in my city and she joined it and saw me as a co-organizer. She reached out to me via text and messaging on Meetup.com to say hi and that she saw me there...And she pretended like everything was normal.
I had none of it and called her on her ghosting. She said she didn't understand that "the second date you asked me on was a date" and that "I use Match.com to find friends as well as dates". She said she ghosted because she didn't know how to tell me she just wanted to be friends and when I didn't chase her to talk about other things she thought I was no longer interested in her.
Truth, because I don't respect ghosting. I never chase.
I tried to have a constructive conversation with her. I decided being crystal clear with her was the best option.
1.) Friendship is not what I was looking for with her.
2.) That I have lost respect for her powerful mind with her ghosting.
3.) She picked the only wrong option - I would have been respectful and understood if she didn't want the 2nd date but communicated that to me instead.
I told her I wanted to conversation to be constructive. So I wanted her to know at the MBTI meetups I would be respectful, but would purposefully chose to sit away from her and focus on getting to know the others.
Turns out my book I gave her wasn't the scare off I guess.
Here's the thing. I thought an INTJ would be literal enough to know:
1.) We met on a dating website
2.) We just went on a date
3.) The man asked her out again the day after the date. It's a 2nd date.
How does she say she didn't get if it was necessarily romantic or not? I was railroading this thing along the typical dating path lol.
Oh well, at least some closure.