[INTJ] What Happens When An INTJ Stops Caring??

What Happens When An INTJ Stops Caring??

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This is a discussion on What Happens When An INTJ Stops Caring?? within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; What Happens When An INTJ Stops Caring? What do you do? me: 1. As simple as turning off a light ...

  1. #1

    What Happens When An INTJ Stops Caring??

    What Happens When An INTJ Stops Caring?

    What do you do?



    me:

    1. As simple as turning off a light switch and leaving the room. The part of an INTJ that matters is simply gone.

    2. When an INTJ stops caring, then an INTJ stops trusting. Or Vs Vs. Then. . . #1.

    3. When an INTJ stops caring, others may or may not know it, at least at first.

    4. When an INTJ stops caring, it is very difficult if not impossible to get a "redo/reset/do-over".

    5. An INTJ stops caring as a function of self protection and self preservation.
    Gr8ful thanked this post.



  2. #2

    hee. i like how this one has only two question marks

    i think a medical metaphor is a good fit here. there can be more than one reason why a limb has to be amputated.

    if it's sudden trauma then the limb will be gone, but the nerves will keep twitching for quite a while.

    on the other hand, if it's been a slow strangulation then the nerve death is a progression that keeps pace with the event. in those cases the amputation is almost more like an afterthought. you get rid of the dead limb because it's already, duh, dead.

  3. #3

    I read an article about how INTJs "stop caring" in a relationship. It wasn't scientific and I even think it was on a blog. I cannot find it right now.

    But basically, the idea is that INTJs (according to this article) will say and do all the things that are needed to make certain that their relationship will work. They'll communicate with their person, they'll explain what they need, what is acceptable and unacceptable, and if there are problems, they will work with their partner to find solutions to those problems.

    But there's only so much one person can do in a relationship. If the other person won't meet INTJs (according to this article) half-way, or even 1% 99%, the INTJ will be forced, more or less, to walk away.

    Now the difference between INTJ and the other types that is highlighted in this article is that they see it coming, they can point out the timeline of events as their wishes were ignored, their needs remained unmet, or something unacceptable was happening. The biggest difference? The INTJ has already grieved the relationship in the mean time, as the relationship was breaking down. The other person - according to this article - was clueless this whole time (to some degree) which is why they didn't care to work on it.

    It's at this point that the majority of the people (again, according to the article) will then start to want to work on the relationship. It is only then where these "cold-hearted" "uncaring" "unempathetic" "door-slammeing" INTJs apper non-caring.

    I don't know if it's like this for other INTJs, but that's the way it is for me.
    lilysocks, Squirt, VoicesOfSpring and 2 others thanked this post.

  4. #4

    I either cut off contact or disappear for long stretches at a time. There usually isn't a 'switch'... it's more I'm just not that interested to begin with. Maybe I fake hyped myself up but deep down was somewhat wary.

    If I stop caring after genuinely liking someone, it'll be cause of a series of off-putting things. I will either go berserkers on them or doorslam. It'll end up hurting me most though, feeling so misunderstood.
    Blue Flower, folsomprisoner and NiTech thanked this post.

  5. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by brightflashes View Post
    I read an article about how INTJs "stop caring" in a relationship. It wasn't scientific and I even think it was on a blog. I cannot find it right now.

    But basically, the idea is that INTJs (according to this article) will say and do all the things that are needed to make certain that their relationship will work. They'll communicate with their person, they'll explain what they need, what is acceptable and unacceptable, and if there are problems, they will work with their partner to find solutions to those problems.

    But there's only so much one person can do in a relationship. If the other person won't meet INTJs (according to this article) half-way, or even 1% 99%, the INTJ will be forced, more or less, to walk away.

    Now the difference between INTJ and the other types that is highlighted in this article is that they see it coming, they can point out the timeline of events as their wishes were ignored, their needs remained unmet, or something unacceptable was happening. The biggest difference? The INTJ has already grieved the relationship in the mean time, as the relationship was breaking down. The other person - according to this article - was clueless this whole time (to some degree) which is why they didn't care to work on it.

    It's at this point that the majority of the people (again, according to the article) will then start to want to work on the relationship. It is only then where these "cold-hearted" "uncaring" "unempathetic" "door-slammeing" INTJs apper non-caring.

    I don't know if it's like this for other INTJs, but that's the way it is for me.
    +1
    Agreed.
    By the time the inevitable happens, or things have been slowly destroyed over time by abuse, neglect, bullying, or failure to show appreciation and care, . . . the INTJ has already suffered and grieved intensely for a very long time. And, the INTJ has already distanced himself from the offending person, little by little, year by year, for self protection. You can't get hurt if you no longer care, no longer are interested in the other.

    Perhaps sad. . . but true.
    j

  6. #6
    Unknown


    If I stop caring about someone else, there's a very, very strong chance I've also stopped caring about myself too. And, that the inner critic, as it were, has gone rampant.

    My lack of care is absolutely destructive. I tend to firstly self-isolate, not speaking to anyone and basically living in a self-imposed silo. I get trapped in snares of compulsive self-judgment that seem right to me, but are in fact full of ridiculous conclusions that any sane person would say are nuts (with no means for someone to say so!). I become way too preoccupied with these things to have any capacity to care about another person, let alone my own wellbeing. I tend to "look OK" to people I do engage with outside, but internally I'm an absolute mess and the most people see is maybe a bit of frustration and impatience. I hide the after-effects of not caring well.

    Conversely, sometimes I can also be completely, shamelessly over-indulging either myself or others in excesses because I simply don't care to face up to something I don't want to face. In these times I don't care about conserving resources or doing something needed to take care of my body or surroundings, and would instead rather be overstimulated. 100% of the time these times of "not caring" are because I tell myself I will fail at being more measured and moderate because of how utterly screwed up I am by nature, so why bother trying.

    Obviously, these are the low points of my life - and I have had many high points too, when I do, deeply care. When I do care, about myself and others, it makes me genuinely happy to make someone else happy.
    Infinitus, NiTech, folsomprisoner and 2 others thanked this post.


     

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