[INTJ] Can silence make Te more effective? - Page 2

Can silence make Te more effective?

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This is a discussion on Can silence make Te more effective? within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by Negotiator Could effective use of silence, then, be seen as development of Ti working side by side ...

  1. #11

    Quote Originally Posted by Negotiator View Post
    Could effective use of silence, then, be seen as development of Ti working side by side with Te?
    i honestly don't know. my own feeling is that it's not something that fits well into function or type-based structures. i do expect it's probably introversion that makes me appreciate silence and maybe a 'good' user of it. but my introversion isn't my thinking style, to me. it's my social orientation, which is a different thing.

    i appreciate and like to use silence because too much yapping frays my own nerves. it's not because i gather/use information in a specific way. it's more because i instinctively think of bandwidth-for-processing-speech as a finite quantity in everyone, whether it is or not. so i instinctively budget the way i use it.

    there's also the fact that as an introvert i hate wasting my own bandwidth-for-producing-speech. it shaves a tiny bit of effort off my day's worth of internal resources to produce words. so i'm not gonna talk if i don't get the sense from the group dynamic that it's likely i will be heard. this is probably even more of a factor than the other one, actually .

    but as i say, i am not my thinking style. my introversion is not the same thing as my thinking style; it's my energy level and how it's oriented, and that's independent of how i collect, process and re-output data.
    Negotiator thanked this post.

  2. #12

    Quote Originally Posted by lilysocks View Post
    i honestly don't know. my own feeling is that it's not something that fits well into function or type-based structures. i do expect it's probably introversion that makes me appreciate silence and maybe a 'good' user of it. but my introversion isn't my thinking style, to me. it's my social orientation, which is a different thing.
    Yeah, that sounds about right. Last test I did I scored 70% on extroversion, which was a surprise to me. Thing is, I basically zone in on people I want to talk to, then drop some bombs. Maybe that whole "pause" thing is just dramatic effect

    .........

    Here's a new question for the thread:

    Do you have any tactics to make someone shut up?

    .................

    And one more, close to my heart

    Do you get irritated when someone uses to many words?

  3. #13
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by Negotiator View Post
    Yeah, that sounds about right. Last test I did I scored 70% on extroversion, which was a surprise to me. Thing is, I basically zone in on people I want to talk to, then drop some bombs. Maybe that whole "pause" thing is just dramatic effect

    .........

    Here's a new question for the thread:

    Do you have any tactics to make someone shut up?

    .................

    And one more, close to my heart

    Do you get irritated when someone uses to many words?
    I either don't reply or just just ignore them.

    Yes. Wordiness irritates me.

    Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk

  4. #14

    Quote Originally Posted by Negotiator View Post
    Thing is, I basically zone in on people I want to talk to, then drop some bombs.
    i have some trouble picturing that. or coming up with a correlative from my own life that i trust. don't think i'd ever describe myself as dropping bombs. for me, i concentrate on the person i want to talk to and the thing that i want to say to them.

    maybe the difference is fe/fi? just something about how most of your orientation for describing all this seems to come from such a from-the-other-person's-pov kind of place. it's pretty foreign for me to come to a description of anything with that factor as the first info point i put up. i tend to focus first on how the communication i'm planning on either reflects or affects me. then as a secondary i might take a look at how it might have struck them.


    Do you have any tactics to make someone shut up?
    sure. it mostly comes down to repeating the message again but more bluntly. one of my red flags is people who keep telling me the same thing over and over when i've already told them i heard them the first time. i'll do normal acknowledgement signals and if that doesn't bump them off the point then i have no trouble saying 'i registered that. don't say it to me again.' if it's just conversational selfishness where i feel i've made it clear i'm not interested but they won't stop, i think i usually say 'it's no use talking to me about it. i'm not informed/not interested/not involved.' and not going to be.

    people honestly seem to need help sometimes knowing when to shut up. i feel like it's an important skill every adult should have, so i'm willing to fill in their gaps if they don't. and i also think it shouldn't be that big a deal. anyone over, say, nine years old should be able to understand that not every human they come across is a free platform or audience for their own thoughts.


    Do you get irritated when someone uses to many words?
    not sure? i'm wordy myself. i do have that annoyance with people who don't keep the new-info flowing so i guess yeah, if they take 47 sentences to say something i grasped by the tenth, i feel claustrophobic and trapped.

  5. #15

    Excellent post, @lilysocks

    Fi vs Fe? I think I'm heavy Fi, as things I say are so centered around my opinions. Fe impact tends to be largely coincidental, as I might make a joke that is more about my choice of words being funny, and me asserting myself as the authority. It's not at all "how can I make you feel better". I'm a 3w4, so it's more about sharing my identity.

    I like your examples of just telling someone to take a hike. If I were to do so, I probably would mock outrage and exaggerate it. That or I'll go uh-huh and start moving away.
    lilysocks and StableSun35 thanked this post.

  6. #16

    Quote Originally Posted by Negotiator View Post
    I like your examples of just telling someone to take a hike.
    i didn't say take a hike they're welcome to still share the same real estate with me, just so long as they zip their lips.

    If I were to do so, I probably would mock outrage and exaggerate it. That or I'll go uh-huh and start moving away.
    interesting point. for me, it's not so much about feels as about facts. if i'm saying i want them to stop then i'm already setting a boundary, right? to me i'd be confusing the message if i then combine it with information about how i feel. i'm asking them to shut up. i'm not entering into an emotion-based conversation with them. i guess for me it's pretty much all about 'don't engage'
    StableSun35 and Negotiator thanked this post.

  7. #17

    Quote Originally Posted by Negotiator View Post
    @StableSun35 @lilysocks Yes that's an interesting question, whether Te is 'thinking out loud'. I have a tendency to do this, but nowadays often hold back so as not to overwhelm. Could effective use of silence, then, be seen as development of Ti working side by side with Te?

    .
    I'm not sure and lilysocks may be right about it not simply being 'thinking out loud' but here's some reading on them if you're interested: https://personalityjunkie.com/04/int...rted-thinking/
    lilysocks and Negotiator thanked this post.


     
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