[INTJ] Having/rehearsing conversations with other people in your head?

Having/rehearsing conversations with other people in your head?

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This is a discussion on Having/rehearsing conversations with other people in your head? within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; I talk/think to myself a lot. But it would be inaccurate to say that I am talking to myself. in ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality

    Having/rehearsing conversations with other people in your head?

    I talk/think to myself a lot. But it would be inaccurate to say that I am talking to myself. in my head, I am talking to someone else (a real person). Rehearsing a conversation that I am expecting to have (for better or worse). Either I am anticipating a conversation I am going to have to have with my boss or a conversation with a friend. I get trapped in my head as I rehearse this conversation, filling in the other person's side of the conversation with the bits that I think they are likely to respond with. A part of me expects that everyone does this, but I think I do it at a level beyond what is normal.

    I could be dwelling on a conversation (or argument as well) that I am expecting to have, and for an hour going through it as I work. Figuring out what I am going to say as I anticipate what the other person will say, and then what I will say, etc... All this work for a conversation that might never even happen.

    Is this typical for a certain type? or do I need to seek psychiatric help and get some pills for anxiety or something?
    Coonsy, Insider77, Blue Flower and 2 others thanked this post.



  2. #2

    Rehearsing a conversation that I am expecting to have (for better or worse). Either I am anticipating a conversation I am going to have to have with my boss or a conversation with a friend. I get trapped in my head as I rehearse this conversation, filling in the other person's side of the conversation with the bits that I think they are likely to respond with.
    I can get stuck doing this as well. It's as though the mind wants to be prepared for any outcome, but figure out the best/most likely one, and will spend a LONG time having this imaginary dialogue to see which directions it might branch.

    Is this typical for a certain type? or do I need to seek psychiatric help and get some pills for anxiety or something?
    I'm not sure, but I know at least one other INxJ that does this.
    As regards seeking help - probably depends on if it interferes with your quality of life and ability to function on a daily basis.
    I get by alright, but sometimes I wish I could turn it down a bit. It's sort of useful though, I wouldn't want it gone altogether.

  3. #3

    You know what, this is normal and the fact your even worrying about it goes to show how sane you are so don't worry a bit about it, everyone talks to themself or has conversations in our heads, we all have a set of identities we talk to, it's the inner conflict and ego trying to reassure and justify, you just don't worry about it, I do this stuff all the time and I'm tickateeboo
    grandpa2390 thanked this post.

  4. #4

    i do it somewhat, and i think it has value when something is worrying me, up to a point. but i don't like to over-rely on it because i don't find my own role-playing reliable enough to keep it all real. it's too easy to hold conversations in your head with people who always conveniently say exactly the things you were hoping they'd say at exactly the moment that lets you make your own point, you know?

    role playing is real, and it's pretty helpful. i just don't think i can be counted on to play both sides of a role play exercise in my own head. i just fulfill my own prophecies which defeats the purpose.

    that said, i usually go around talking to somebody inside my head. i'm not even sure if the somebody is someone else or myself.
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  5. #5

    I used to do this a lot when I was younger (in my 20s and younger). It’s just trying to anticipate all outcomes because I don’t always react in the moment, so I’d try to prepare. Over time, I just somehow realized I was wasting a lot of mental energy and time going through all these scenarios that never happen. Now probably only happens in situations I am anxious or worried about but that’s all, and I try to limit it then too because it really doesn’t accomplish much. The situations rarely go exactly how I had in my head and often go better than I was worrying about. But yes, overall, it’s pretty normal as far as I know!
    Last edited by EyesOpen; 08-19-2019 at 03:39 PM.
    grandpa2390, stathamspeacoat, Squirt and 1 others thanked this post.

  6. #6

    I did this more when I was younger than now. I observe my son doing it a lot lately (he's 8). I'll probably do it again sometime, but I am lucky that I have a life where I don't have to come into contact with people enough to have to worry about what I'm going to say or how I'm going to say it.
    grandpa2390 thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INTJ - The Scientists

    For complicated talks or letters, I am going to pre-draft them in my mind. I think that is normal and just a way of "being prepared". Unfortunately, discussions seldom go the way you imagine, so mostly you can't use the results later. But as that is also a very good way to critically evaluate your position it helps any way. If you can't defend your position against yourself, there is something clearly wrong. And to letters: Why not? You have to prepare some material out of which you can write the final letter.
    grandpa2390, EyesOpen, stathamspeacoat and 1 others thanked this post.

  8. #8

    I'd echo what everyone else has said here.

    If you want to take it to the next level, involve a buddy! a.k.a. role-play!

    I'm pretty sure this comes from a universal human tendency to create dialogues when those regular old boring internal monologues get too oppressive.
    Green Girl, grandpa2390, lilysocks and 3 others thanked this post.

  9. #9

    I do this a lot but I have started to learn that there is a danger of mistakenly attributing things to the other person that were really your own projections. In other words, chances are that your version of the other person’s half of the conversation is not what they’d really say.

    I think this behavior is common for people who think in sentences. Shockingly not everyone does. My husband thinks mostly in images. Which is not uncommon.
    EyesOpen and Squirt thanked this post.

  10. #10

    I do that all day long when I'm working. It has advantages and disadvantages to doing that. Like when someone is trying to have an argument with you and you already have all the answers ready to counter them. It's bad when I'm doing it to cope with my insecurities though because it kinda turns into self loathing and worsens the problem.


     
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