hello. while i may only be 19 years old, i am certainly wise beyond my years. I have noticed that INTJ women are quite the independent bunch. for me, i love to be by myself. my friends will text me and ask "hey. what r u up to?" and ill reply.."oh just laying in bed reading" the response i usually get.. "uhh..why dont you go do something" BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO!!! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!
I wonder at what point in my life did i decide that i didnt want to be social? from birth? adolescence? teen? i have a few really good friends. and i have ONE best friend. i simply could not picture my life without her. she is an INFJ. some people will joke with me and say "you have NO friends" and honestly, i think "so? i dont want any" i understand that i'm rambling and you're probably wondering when i will get to my point...
MY POINT: i often find myself feeling SO stubborn and self sufficient that i do not want a boyfriend. i see my faults when it comes to dating and i wonder.. i am who i am.. so if i dont change, will i ever have a successful relationship? i do not open up easily to people. in fact, its like pulling teeth, maybe even a root canal.. and add surgical removal of impacted wisdom teeth out, too. i simply do not feel the need to open up about things. either that, or im afraid (i will admit). ANOTHER THING. i find myself so busy with work and school, that i dont choose to make time for guys. it drains me. so if i DO choose to force myself to hang out with someone, i pretty much sit there and watch the clock...just waiting until its time for bed.
AM I TOO SELFISH? STUBBORN? INDEPENDENT?
if i change...it would only be temporary. it would be fake..and thus, the relationship wouldnt last anyways.
GAHHHHHH. i guess ill just be that 89 year old cat lady. fuck it.