[INTJ] INTJ women. doomed to be single. or is it just me?

INTJ women. doomed to be single. or is it just me?

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This is a discussion on INTJ women. doomed to be single. or is it just me? within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; hello. while i may only be 19 years old, i am certainly wise beyond my years. I have noticed that ...

  1. #1
    INTJ - The Scientists


    INTJ women. doomed to be single. or is it just me?

    hello. while i may only be 19 years old, i am certainly wise beyond my years. I have noticed that INTJ women are quite the independent bunch. for me, i love to be by myself. my friends will text me and ask "hey. what r u up to?" and ill reply.."oh just laying in bed reading" the response i usually get.. "uhh..why dont you go do something" BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO!!! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!

    I wonder at what point in my life did i decide that i didnt want to be social? from birth? adolescence? teen? i have a few really good friends. and i have ONE best friend. i simply could not picture my life without her. she is an INFJ. some people will joke with me and say "you have NO friends" and honestly, i think "so? i dont want any" i understand that i'm rambling and you're probably wondering when i will get to my point...

    MY POINT: i often find myself feeling SO stubborn and self sufficient that i do not want a boyfriend. i see my faults when it comes to dating and i wonder.. i am who i am.. so if i dont change, will i ever have a successful relationship? i do not open up easily to people. in fact, its like pulling teeth, maybe even a root canal.. and add surgical removal of impacted wisdom teeth out, too. i simply do not feel the need to open up about things. either that, or im afraid (i will admit). ANOTHER THING. i find myself so busy with work and school, that i dont choose to make time for guys. it drains me. so if i DO choose to force myself to hang out with someone, i pretty much sit there and watch the clock...just waiting until its time for bed.

    AM I TOO SELFISH? STUBBORN? INDEPENDENT?

    if i change...it would only be temporary. it would be fake..and thus, the relationship wouldnt last anyways.

    GAHHHHHH. i guess ill just be that 89 year old cat lady. fuck it.
    PseudoSenator, bionic, Angel1412kaitou and 6 others thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by mdawn View Post
    hello. while i may only be 19 years old, i am certainly wise beyond my years. I have noticed that INTJ women are quite the independent bunch. for me, i love to be by myself. my friends will text me and ask "hey. what r u up to?" and ill reply.."oh just laying in bed reading" the response i usually get.. "uhh..why dont you go do something" BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO!!! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!

    i simply do not feel the need to open up about things. either that, or im afraid (i will admit). ANOTHER THING. i find myself so busy with work and school, that i dont choose to make time for guys. it drains me. so if i DO choose to force myself to hang out with someone, i pretty much sit there and watch the clock...just waiting until its time for bed.

    AM I TOO SELFISH? STUBBORN? INDEPENDENT?

    if i change...it would only be temporary. it would be fake..and thus, the relationship wouldnt last anyways.

    GAHHHHHH. i guess ill just be that 89 year old cat lady. fuck it.
    First, it gets better (honestly) as you get a little older. Second, if you want everyone to leave you the hell alone (and believe me, I know what that's like), it sort of selects for you to be alone. Even the cats may get on your last nerve and just stay there. And if being around people drains you, just give yourself a break.

  3. #3
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Hi There, I agree whole heartedly with what Isis stated, it does get better. I have learned to accept me and like me regardless of what "others" have to say, I have (as it seems that you have to) discovered that my friends true friends are those that will accept me for who I am and not try to change me, they don't always understand me but are still there when it really matters. N, at least is my opinion, you can find someone. you have 70 years before you get to be 89...

  4. #4
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    It's not just you. ISTP women are also doomed to be single. I think we get over it quicker, though. ;-)

  5. #5
    INTP - The Thinkers

    They're right. It will get easier. I've never been a person with a ton of friends and can only claim one or two really close ones. As far as relationships go, I've had many but always had the stay or go mentality...meaning I didn't care if they were there or not. I'm 28 now and have found someone who gets all my quirks and antisocial tendencies; he's an INTJ too so that helps massively.

    Be yourself, take the time to know who you are and what you want, don't feel bad about being how you are and the rest will come with time.
    mdawn and TurquoiseSunset thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Your qualities make you perfect for a life with an INTJ partner. The key is to find someone who you can feel completely alone with even when they are around, someone who needs as much alone time as you, whatever type. I struck out with my first two boyfriends, but my third was INTJ, and I knew immediately it was workable. You just haven't found the right person yet. And there is so much time. Plus you probably won't find that unusual type of person by casual dating so I wouldn't worry about not going about things in that way. You are unique. It's a good thing.
    Blue Heart, beth x, bionic and 2 others thanked this post.

  7. #7
    ENTJ - The Executives

    I'm only 20 and I've never had a serious relationship. I've fallen in love but when I reflect, it was more about infatuation if anything. They were all long-distance relationships. None of them had that intensity that I needed to gain my interest and trust. So do not worry, it will come in time. I would love a boyfriend right now but I am uncapable of intimacy at this point in my life. I have to work on myself before I give myself to another person. I have yet to achieve that.
    Jncky, mdawn and L'Empereur thanked this post.

  8. #8
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    I feel like a relationship failure. I mean I'm quite pretty, young and I try to be friendly, but it doesn't work. I think people see me as boring but I don't really know what to do about it. I'm just me, and I can't really change that.

  9. #9
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by mdawn View Post
    f. my friends will text me and ask "hey. what r u up to?" and ill reply.."oh just laying in bed reading" the response i usually get.. "uhh..why dont you go do something" BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO!!! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!
    Exactly.

    Besides the fact that I'm a guy and I would be searching for a girlfriend, I heavily relate to what you're saying. Great post.
    mdawn, Hemoglobin and L'Empereur thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Just some thoughts....

    Quote Originally Posted by mdawn View Post
    MY POINT: i often find myself feeling SO stubborn and self sufficient that i do not want a boyfriend. i see my faults when it comes to dating and i wonder.. i am who i am.. so if i dont change, will i ever have a successful relationship? i do not open up easily to people. in fact, its like pulling teeth, maybe even a root canal.. and add surgical removal of impacted wisdom teeth out, too. i simply do not feel the need to open up about things. either that, or im afraid (i will admit). ANOTHER THING. i find myself so busy with work and school, that i dont choose to make time for guys. it drains me. so if i DO choose to force myself to hang out with someone, i pretty much sit there and watch the clock...just waiting until its time for bed.

    AM I TOO SELFISH? STUBBORN? INDEPENDENT?
    No, no, no. You have your priorities in life and they don't focus on relationships. I can relate aside from the whole, I'm a guy looking for a woman thing and a bit older at 35 and have only had one dating relationship, much like PseudoSenator. I would suggest sticking to what you want and when you do want someone, that's the time to get into dating and all that stuff, at least that is how I see it. Just because you don't want to be a drone, that isn't a bad thing, ya know.
    rousse, mdawn and tulipgirl thanked this post.


     
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