[INTJ] The (stream of conscious?) venting thread for INTJ. - Page 3500

The (stream of conscious?) venting thread for INTJ.

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This is a discussion on The (stream of conscious?) venting thread for INTJ. within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; ...

  1. #34991

    Just got off a Skype call with the old supervisor. Sounds like there's a good opportunity for content dev, so some solid points to the yes column for taking this job. On the other hand, I mentioned to him I didn't like the crazy hours I worked when I was there before. He said that it was a little better because they have a team we can hand some things off to overnight, but not a lot, then said the extra hours are just part of the job. On one hand, I get it—the nature of our work means that it doesn't come in regular amounts or intervals. On the other hand, there are other offices that actually turn down work when it gets busy. Our doesn't.

    So I will obviously need to set boundaries so that work doesn't constantly bleed into my personal life.

    However, I'm struggling because there's no clear answer in terms of knowing where to set boundaries on how frequently and how much I will work past 5:00 and/or 40 hours a week. Is 45 acceptable but 46 or 45.25 hours isn't? Or is 50 not unreasonable but 65 is the hard limit? Where do you draw that line?

    At what point does it cross over into being an issue of excessive department workloads, project managers not understanding that schedules are estimates that require at least some flexibility, inability of the project manager to schedule work within estimates and office hours, and unwillingness of the company to hire adequate staff? Is it my responsibility to make up for poor practices on the part of other employees and the company? If so, why? At some point it feels like I'm being asked to not have a personal life because it might interfere with work, and that's not okay. I understand that client deadlines are non-negotiable for the most part. I just don't understand why they aren't set within reasonable parameters when the project manager has the information in front of them in the estimate and why our department can't turn down work when we're already significantly over our maximum capacity. There are other offices that can take the work, and it's not like we won't get any more work if we do that. There's plenty of work to go around.

    Here's the thing: I actually like working extra if it's only a little bit and only once in a while because it feels like I'm helping out when I don't have to. And I don't have a lot going on outside work, so it's not actually a hardship (though frankly if I'm living in a city, I hope to change that because I want to fully experience it). I also understand and accept that being salaried means that this is simply part of the job, at least to a certain point. But employees have to sleep at some point, so where exactly do you draw that line?

    This is obviously a boundary issue, which I'm not super great at. But reinforcement will come with practice, so that's fine, I'll learn as I go, and quite frankly I welcome the opportunity because developing the skill will help in other areas of my life as well. So it's just a matter of where a logical point to place the boundary is actually at.

    I could really use some advice. I feel like there's some equation that I'm missing a part of. (Or maybe what I'm missing is just that there isn't a clear answer.)
    Sela, lilysocks and Negotiator thanked this post.

  2. #34992
    ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers

    Quote Originally Posted by stathamspeacoat View Post
    One minute it's like, "I'm giving you a bonus!" and the next, "I don't really like how you didn't say good morning."
    Thanks for the warning.

  3. #34993

    Quote Originally Posted by Sela View Post
    I have no opinion one way or the other, other than having a secret desire to use it more often around people that have indicated that they don't like the word and can't really offer an actual reason why they don't like it other than "I don't like it".
    pbbbllllttt, why do people do that. i can tell you exactly why i don't like this word. it's got a gushy, pushy, plummy, in-your-face over-the-top note to it. it's the word of someone who ever-so-subtly is railroading you but would deny that they're doing it because they're too oblivious to normal discourse to even acknowledge there's a line that they're leaning across.

    and in legal context it jolts me because the legal meaning is so far from the everyday one. it just sounds in the legal world like a word someone would invent on the fly because english is very new to them but they're not letting that get between them and a good try at saying the thing that they mean.

    it must be archaic. like 'lovesome'. you know? oh right. and it's been carried into modern times by being encased in the amber of litigation. why am i even surprised, now i think about it.
    Sela thanked this post.

  4. #34994

    Had a severe attack of the feels last night. How do people who are in touch with their emotions get any actual thinking done? Every time I get close, my brain throws out an error report and refuses to function until I reboot into safe (read: thinking) mode again.

    I knew the reaction was related to the thoughts I've been having about the potential job, but wasn't sure how. Just realized that if I accept the job, I'd be adding a sense of loss of control. I've already experienced more of that (and just loss in general) than I'm capable of handling well. It doesn't make sense to add an additional helping of lack of control on my plate while I'm not in a position to deal with what I already have.

    Even if it does seem like the most reliable/least risky way to get me on track to start doing design, which I want so badly. Or make my bank account less uncomfortable.

    I've got a roof over my head and food in my belly, and adequate income for the time being, plus the potential to make more via housesitting (if I'll stop being afraid of I-don't-know-what (commitment?) and just post the flyers that it took me two &$*[email protected] months to make because I convinced myself that trying to make a pretty design allowed me to hone my design skills when what I was really doing was postponing facing my baseless anxiety when I should be taking action) and potentially some other entrepreneurial avenues I'm just not seeing.

    I'm in a good place for the time being and passing up an opportunity doesn't mean it and no others will ever come again. I keep losing sight of that.

    And quite frankly, if I'm this much of a wreck over merely deciding whether I even want to so much as entertain the idea of accepting the position, I'm probably not emotionally stable enough (yet) to be of use to any employer just now.

    They say time heals all wounds. Please tell me neuroticism is a wound? It certainly seems to be bleeding all over everything.

    Holy fuck do I miss having a functional brain.
    Sela, EyesOpen, LittleMermaid and 2 others thanked this post.

  5. #34995

    The friends I see while travelling (yet still see more frequently than I do any other friends...) are planning to hike Kilimanjaro for one's 40th birthday, well over a year from now. I've been invited to come along. There's a decent chance I'll be living 1 border crossing away at the time, so it should be easier/more cost effective to accomplish than meeting up with this group usually is.

    It's a plan I'm pleased with.
    Sela, Napoleptic, EyesOpen and 3 others thanked this post.

  6. #34996

    I'm still alive, sadly. When will I go to the afterlife?

  7. #34997

    INTP almost has me wanting to cry more than laugh:

    Sela thanked this post.

  8. #34998

    Quote Originally Posted by Napoleptic View Post
    INTP almost has me wanting to cry more than laugh:

    lol *headpat Napo*

    In that video I am totally the ISTJ with a hint of ENTP with the pain diagram :p
    INTJ one didn’t describe me at all: health anxiety/hypochondria-lite to the rescue! I will go to the doc ASAP every time lol
    Napoleptic thanked this post.

  9. #34999

    Quote Originally Posted by EyesOpen View Post
    lol *headpat Napo*

    In that video I am totally the ISTJ with a hint of ENTP with the pain diagram :p
    INTJ one didn’t describe me at all: health anxiety/hypochondria-lite to the rescue! I will go to the doc ASAP every time lol

    In my head, I relate to INTP, ENTP, ISTP (except for ignoring pain, I'm a total wuss), INFJ, and ISTJ. Sooooooo much ENFP once I start talking to the doctor—not only do I suddenly remember every random symptom I've had (though with zero reference in terms of when they occurred and with what frequency), but I am also suddenly voicing at least three different theories on possible causes for each of them; if I've made the mistake of trying to diagnose myself via the internet, I'm basically a doctor's walking nightmare.

    And humiliatingly, ISFJ/INFP outwardly. Maybe I'd get lucky and the doctor would detect my lack of a spine.

    Took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out what INTJ was supposed to have going on under the blur. And I burst out laughing at the last bit for ESTJ (even though I don't understand it) because the guy looked like he genuinely (and rather desperately!) wanted the answer to his question.
    EyesOpen thanked this post.

  10. #35000

    Who wants da king ?

    Sent sans PC


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