god what a strange day. things are getting real (finally?) with the lawyer, and unfortunately that means i have to go sit in an office for an hour and a half and be grilled over the micro-realities of everything that went on in the first half of last year.
it's hard. in the moment it feels awesome, like i'm finally getting to talk about my dad. and lawyers are incredibly incremental and detail-alert, so i get to actually talk about my real dad. not just 'he was this age and lived here and had those health conditions and then this'. the real, authentic him.
it takes me back into the reality of what those days were like, just him and me doing things or hanging out together. or just him on his own, and the person he was. and then bam, it's over. and i'm back on the sidewalk outside, feeling business-like and accomplished and finding out that i hurt all over from it.
i still have to deal with that affidavit.