Yes, a parent... Fe dom (ESFJ if i'm not wrong), you can imagine.. -.-
I'm very exhausted, i've decided to not allow the person to hurt me emotionally but that's seriously easier said then done. Especially since i don't hold on to grudges. I tend to let go of things easily and move on from the situation but its these situations that kills me. Especially since i'm passive and i'm not really sure what to say. I know what i want to say and i try but it would come down to how wrong i am and how right they are and them not making sense. Here i am trying to comprehend things and then they just simply bring me down.. I eventually end up shutting myself up for i know whatever i say won't make a difference but that makes me go into an inward death spiral and i keep my anger/emotions boiled up. It's like they want to see my emotional reaction, worse, they want me to feel as bad as they feel for some reason i didn't cause but already blamed me - that very thing makes me upset for i know i've not done what they claim.. Then they will go on to say what a horrible person i am, etc... -.- *sighs* It would hit me eventually, i don't know why. Not really sure how to explain this whole thing but it has happened more then once... Actually, it has been happening for years. I've tried to distance myself but it hasn't work. Now i'm taking things to another level and already the treatment towards me is hostile.
Only thing i can do is escape in my work..
If i had friends, i can escape the house more and i don't have anywhere else to run to. It's fucked up to not feel at home in your own home.
I'm working towards achieving my freedom/independence but my situation (whole family is financially unstable, i'm contributing) is harder and many people won't understand if i explain so i don't bother to. Also, i'm obligated towards that person a whole lot so i do feel a sense of responsibility which i uphold (damn Fi right) strongly and i make sure their well-being is met, but i am trying not to let things go beyond that. They are demanding more and i catch myself giving in so often.
Ultimately, the only solution i can see for now is getting to where i need to. Although that is going to take longer then i would hope.
I know i'm being general, not very comfortable to talk about this in 'public' but this is killing me really. Also apologise for being vague.
Gawd, i can't believe i'm so emotional over this. Typing this out was more painful then i thought.