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This is a discussion on Ask an INTJ a question. within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by Eylrid Q: How do you feel about crowds? Generally not a comfortable place to be. If I ...

  1. #5001
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by Eylrid View Post
    Q: How do you feel about crowds?
    Generally not a comfortable place to be. If I need to spent time in a crowd, I tend to just ignore everyone/blend it out. I don't even think about how people in a crowd might judge me, because they all blend together into one anonymous, amorphous mass, part of the environment. I assume that I blend into the background as well.
    There are different sorts of crowds.
    - Crowd due to necessity: For example getting on a train that is more than full - it's uncomfortable, temporary, but not particularly stressful aside from the physical discomfort, because I'm off somewhere else with my thoughts. Noone enjoys that situation, but it's bearable. Everyone tries to ignore everyone else.
    - Accidental crowd: Many people just happen to frequent the same place, independent of each other. Pedestrian zone of a city, for example. Not a place to stay longer than necessary, but if the shortest path goes through there, I don't particularly care.
    - Crowd with a purpose: Protests and the like. Those are somewhat worse. Like being swallowed by a huge organism. Breeding ground for strange psychological mechanisms.
    - Crowd "for fun": Clubs and the like. Those are the worst. I feel like I'm sticking out like a sore thumb and totally in the wrong place. Sensory overload and no personal space. Trying to wear a fake smile as camouflage, but gets harder every second. After a while, I start fantasizing about ways to reduce the number of people. The pressure builds inside me until it feels like I should be able to cause a big psychic blast that flings everyone aside and gives me room to breathe. *shudders* Never doing that again.
    Eylrid, Sela, Faklubrejle and 19 others thanked this post.

  2. #5002
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by Eylrid View Post
    Q: How do you feel about crowds?
    I don't mind them, as long as they provide a shroud of anonymity; as long as I am not getting attention (that would be a nightmare. Although some kinds of attention can make me feel empowered. Like, when I train clutch flag while waiting for bus, or when I do stand-to-stand bridge, or V-raises on a tree). I dislike waiting for a long distance bus- when I have to wait with baggage in a crowd of 'normal people', some of them might be checking my things out and planning to take somehting when I let my guard down (later, when the bus stops halfway, etc.). I enjoy walking through excited crowds focusing on something else than me (when they're not body-to-body). I feel like in an action movie, or Assassin's Creed. Also, when you get anyone's attention, in two seconds you're out of their sight and earshot, it's easy to get lost. I've got a quite good sense of orientation, I never lose people in crowds nor myself. My notion of what people generally expect from you, while you're in a crowd, is actually calming. They are underestimating you and you have much of their ignorance to work with. God, I sound like a psychopath .

    EDIT: Crowds, and human interaction in general share this: they are much safer when you are the active participant, or you have the initiative. For example, if you need help, and ask a random person, you are very likely to find a good one. However, if you're a sitting duck, and you hold a sign "Lady in distress!", you attract people who might abuse it.

    EDIT 2 : That is the reason why I prefer crowds when I am in the position of a shark: sharks need to keep swiming; since they aren't fish; to glide upwards against the gravity. Their bodies have higher density than water. And similarily, I think a crowd isn't a place I would profit from staying at- when I keep moving, any negative biases I might get from personal misunderstandings will be erased- I do not sink.

    EDIT 3: At least when I studied biology at high school in my native language, we considered 'fish' those chordata animals with gas bladder (I think the number of gills was also important). Chondrichthyes (where sharks are) were a different class on the same level as 'true fish'.

    EDIT 4: I might have just described the counterphobic approach to crowd anxiety. Quite an E6 sx trait.

  3. #5003
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by Eylrid View Post
    A conversation from the Introvert thread:

    Q: How do you feel about crowds?
    I absolutely detest them. There's too much noise, I can't think straight, and it's inevitable that some random stranger is going to try to talk to me. Ugh.
    Eylrid thanked this post.

  4. #5004
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by Eylrid View Post
    Q: How do you feel about crowds?
    I'm used to crowded buses by now, although I still don't like them and I'm fairly concerned about accidentally touching other people.

    Crowded malls or stores I can handle as well, since I'm there to get my own stuff, and other people are minding their own business.

    Protests or organized demonstrations I avoid at all costs.

    Places where people enjoy being crowded together, ie a large music event, I also try to avoid. I would only go if I was with someone who I could trust and could shrink my world to include only that person, the event, and myself.

    Social gatherings, ie family get-togethers, I find stressful and draining. I can handle it for a while, especially if there are people there who are interesting, but eventually (2+ hours) I need to take a break.

    National parks being overrun by tourists does make the place less worth visiting in my opinion. I would rather go to a quiet beach than a busy one.

    Places where people purposely crowd together: never been there myself, and I plan to keep it that way.
    Eylrid, beth x, beth x and 46 others thanked this post.

  5. #5005
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by Eylrid View Post
    How do you feel about crowds?
    Pretty much this:

    Quote Originally Posted by WolfStar View Post
    It depends on the crowd. If it's just a crowd like in the city, people walking to place, I don't care at all. I know everyone pays as much attention to me as I do to them, which is not at all. If it's a crowd where everyone is excited and the energy level is very high then I'll feel very uncomfortable.
    In fact, I really enjoy walking alone in a city with my IEMs in. (Well, unless I'm in a busy part of London where people are bumping into me and there's no space on the pavement to walk.) It's the world with a soundtrack. You're surrounded by people, and yet you are isolated. You are mortal - one tiny speck in the machine that churns.
    Eylrid, beth x, beth x and 29 others thanked this post.

  6. #5006
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Q: How do you feel about crowds?
    I seem to be an exception according to the previous answers, as I actually enjoy crowds in protests and concerts. I don't care much about the people there as individuals but I like the general atmosphere, the sense that we're all gathered here for the same cause - it feels like some intangible energy feeling the air. Maybe because it's rare for me to feel like I belong instead of standing by and watching. I hate clubs and parties though. As for crowds as in public transports and the like, I'm just used to it so I don't care as long as my personal space isn't too much invaded.

    Q : It's been about 6 months since the last time I came here, nice to see some familiar names are still around, but where are my favorite INTJs? antiant, lirulin, Sanskrit - do they still drop by? Have they been banned? Did I miss some crunchy drama? (bethdeth, Monkey, Eylrid - I'm looking at you. I demand answers!)
    Eylrid and DeeWayne thanked this post.

  7. #5007

    Quote Originally Posted by Synestheme View Post
    I seem to be an exception according to the previous answers, as I actually enjoy crowds in protests and concerts. I don't care much about the people there as individuals but I like the general atmosphere, the sense that we're all gathered here for the same cause - it feels like some intangible energy feeling the air. Maybe because it's rare for me to feel like I belong instead of standing by and watching. I hate clubs and parties though. As for crowds as in public transports and the like, I'm just used to it so I don't care as long as my personal space isn't too much invaded.

    Q : It's been about 6 months since the last time I came here, nice to see some familiar names are still around, but where are my favorite INTJs? antiant, lirulin, Sanskrit - do they still drop by? Have they been banned? Did I miss some crunchy drama? (bethdeth, Monkey, Eylrid - I'm looking at you. I demand answers!)
    No drama. They just got tired of some of the sexism, immaturity, baiting, stupidity. I dropped out a couple of times and Monkey did too. It happens. Does your curdled heart only favour those who aren't here? Tsk Tsk.
    Monkey Fritz and Rose Belle thanked this post.

  8. #5008
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Crowds

    Half dozen or so, manageable in that those are likely people I'm comfortable around.

    10-30 small wedding/wake size hate weddings, don't believe in the institutionalisation of friendships so don't know what to say ("well done" or "why are you so insecure that you feel the need to subject yourself to this?")
    Also this size of group is hard to disappear in, I find. Back in school in a class of 30 I could manage it, but for some reason now people want to talk to me, they "like" me... While I could be doing something I want at another location. I'd "like" that...

    60-100-300 big wedding, easier to disappear, happier to go to events like this because of the added camouflage.

    400-1000 small concert, I want to be there, no problem. I can still manage to mosh in the front like a crazie. :)

    Multiple thousands-arena gigs again I don't see the crowd, only the band I want to see. I want to have a good time, the best way for me to do that is make sure those around me have a good time, I offer to let someone up on my shoulders. I make sure if someone gets too enthusiastic that it isn't disturbing someone else, or if they go down, that space is cleared till they get up. All the while a happy face.

    I live near a fairly large town (for the area) and frequent it often enough to have seen changes in the density of people on the street over the years, I don't like the increase!!

    I hate.... ABSOLUTELY HATE walking along and having someone walking behind me, FAR MORE SO when I'm talking. Not a crowd thing, but an invasion of my space thing.

    I'd rather go into an empty pub and be the loudest one of my small group, in it... Experiance has told me that 1 the batman won't kick you out because you are the only paying customer and 2 you get great service.

  9. #5009
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by bethdeth View Post
    Does your curdled heart only favour those who aren't here? Tsk Tsk.
    I've heard it's human nature, I wouldn't know.

    I can understand why they're gone, I've had my fair share of /facepalm moments here too, and many more are to come I'm sure. But hey - "curdled"! I've just returned and already learned a new English word, I knew it would be worth it.
    beth x and Monkey Fritz thanked this post.

  10. #5010
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Can INTJs be creepy? Like in a stalkerish way, if an INTJ guy likes a girl, will they do things for that girl that to normal society MAY seem creepy and over the top?
    Someone please answer my question. Thank you :)


     

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