I spent a beautiful evening with an INFP friend. She described to me an "offense" that a housemate made against her. An "offense" that perhaps many people commit often without thought, an "offense" that perhaps some would never commit.
What was the offense? Not saving her a dinner plate from a community meal. Knowing that she had not yet eaten, another housemate quickly took the last plate and said that was for her lunch tomorrow, so my friend had no dinner.
The point? It's not about the dinner. It's not about the meal.
My friend, very un-INTJ-like, would rarely use the word "selfish" or "thoughtless". Not mincing words, I offered "selfish".
She stumbled and finally said this: "The people in the house are far more concerned with politics and intellect than with the heart."
I thought her statement was fabulous. I thought about it in context of the INTJ/INFJ discussions here. I thought of the difference of why I love her and what she offers the world, and what is different in this INFP feeler compared to what offends me about the INFJ feelers.
I like that she is concerned with "the heart", which I find to be deeper and truer than "feelings", which I believe can be misguided.
So, I wondered . . . in an attempt to define and differentiate:
1) What it is the INFPs do that work, feeler-wise, different from what the INFJs do that doesn't work for the INTJs.
2) The difference between "emotions" and the "heart".
I'd like to do this via one-line contrast /comparisons.
I'll start . . .
The heart is where honesty lies, feelings can be deceiving.
The INFP asks me how I feel and believes my answer, the INFJ tells me.