This is a discussion on INTJ's and the Irrelevance of Friendship within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by _s.il I have many acquaintances, and few friends. The 3 friends I truly enjoy, I open up ...
Friends are acquaintances who share a common interest. For example, I might go see the film Unbroken with someone who likes war movies. Then afterward we'll pick it apart or laugh about how much it sucked and then talk about war over dinner and say goodnight.
That's a friend. The way other people talk about friends is foreign to me. No one has any business getting into my private life (unless I invite them) and my emotions are my business alone.
So I value friendship less than TV because friends can bail on yo. I have more fun going to a movie by myself anyway.
Friends can be nice but they are usually of little value. I have one friend who knows me a bit better than anyone else in my life (because she is a safe person) but that is highly unusual and in fact until a few years ago she knew me no better than anyone else.
I have one friend who is INFJ but I do not value the friendship as much as he does as he is a convicted felon (sex offender).
He is like 6 years older than me and a conversation we had pre-conviction still haunts me. "Yeah, I like younger girls, not ones close to my age." Me: "oh so you go for girls who are like 25-30?" "No, MUCH younger." I thought he meant like 20-25. -.-
He is the one who latched onto me - I have run from him ever since I first met him 15 years ago. He considers it a solid friendship solely because we have known each other for so long.
I have no one else except Internet people.
Oh, and he is still a virgin, approaching 40.
Make a movie!
I can relate to this alot. Friends come and go, and I'm rather indifferent about it. I feel fine in company of myself anyway.
But when someone messages me, I usually try to answer quickly because I want to keep my relationships clear and fine, and I know that some of my friends would worry if I didn't answer to them in two days.
And if some of my friends suddenly just cuts off, I feel weird and just think couple of days that what must it have been that made they do that decision. After that I just keep living my life; there's no point to me keep worrying such things for a longer time.
There have only been a few exceptions to that, with which I have emotionally invested myself immensely in certain individuals. One of them was my best friend from childhood who ditched me. The result of that was a very lengthy, two-year hatred and sense of betrayal. I've since moved on from that though. The other person is my significant other, with which I've invested myself wholly in all aspects of my life. Furthermore, she's the source of my well-being, stability, and all other things that keep me together. If I were to lose her, it'd ruin me completely. With anyone else though, I have the same easiness in detaching myself.