[INTJ] INTJ's and the Irrelevance of Friendship - Page 3

INTJ's and the Irrelevance of Friendship

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This is a discussion on INTJ's and the Irrelevance of Friendship within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; I value everybody on a certain level, but I care a hell of a lot more about a deep friendship ...

  1. #21
    Unknown Personality

    I value everybody on a certain level, but I care a hell of a lot more about a deep friendship than some brief fling of a friendship.

    I suspect it's just because I typically don't get emotionally involved quickly. When I do, it runs deep, but if I've never formed much of an emotional connection, then yes, those people are largely "replaceable."

    But I'm not so sure that's a good thing. At least, not across the board.

  2. #22

    This is the third town that i live in and i had friend in every one of them. But, as i moved from town to town i simply stopped communicating with them. It did not make any effect on me. Moving on is quite simple for me. It is not like i did not care for those friends but i hate to cling on the past.

  3. #23

    Easy come, easy go for me. I don't allow myself to become attached to people who aren't going to become permanent fixtures in my life. Friends are never permanent fixtures. I have trouble seeing people as anything other than fickle so I'll enjoy their company while it's there but I just don't care about maintaining anything more than that. I move around too much to bother with lifelong friends.
    Hypernova thanked this post.

  4. #24

    Friendship isn't irrelevant to me at all. Acquaintances are irrelevant, but if I fell out with my best friends, I'd be devastated.

  5. #25

    My INTJ soulmate has only ever completely opened up to me, and even I still don't get to see everything. (I say as I listen to her rant about homework.) She has a large circle of acquaintances (1w9, so/sx) but I'm the only one of them who really knows her.

  6. #26
    INTJ - The Scientists

    I don't feel very connected with people at all however I have quite a high concern for human life in general as I believe life is a precious gift and wish everyone else saw it that way and lived peacefully. I think I see it as people that I'm on good terms with (respectful, appreciating), People that are neutral (I've had no or very limited contact with) and people I don't want anywhere near me (rude, aggressive, disrespectful). I tend not to label relationships and just try to appreciate and enjoy the company I have at the time, I particularly enjoy one to one discussions. I aim to be generally quite pleasant and respectful towards everyone, if people choose to see me as a friend that's fine, I wouldn't be like "we're not friends." but if I violated their 'friend contract' I wouldn't really care. I think it's because I've had close friends in the past and they betrayed my trust so now I try to avoid putting myself in that situation. I've always seen friends as a choice rather than a need.

  7. #27
    INTJ - The Scientists

    I don't know I use to look at it like most of the posters here but then I started working at jobs with downtime and talking to a friend in a similar situation every day (or every work day) for a long enough period of time formed quite a strong bond. Right now I don't really have any strong bonds with friends and I dont necessarily feel that I need it in my life but I think it would be nice to have again.

  8. #28

    Quote Originally Posted by Sourpuss View Post
    I went for a period of ten years where I didn't see or speak to my best childhood friend. I missed him all the time, actually.
    Why would you not talk to him if you missed him?

  9. #29
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by GasmGizmo View Post
    Why would you not talk to him if you missed him?
    Didn't have his phone-number or email or current address.

  10. #30


    When I graduated high school, after the ceremony I just left and went home. I didn't even think of the fact that I might never see the majority of them again. Some of them texted me asking where I was because they were taking group photos and such. I only regretted my decision once I was already home lol.

    Don't get me wrong, I do *love* my friends, I guess. But just like you, I don't let my world revolve around them. It's fun while it lasted kind of attitude..It gets sad, but after a day or so I move on and it's as if it never happened. I feel horrible about it too. I don't think I even miss anyone.. It's kinda weird, but at the same time I am a bit grateful. I think it'd be really hard to keep missing everyone and keep having the desire to be with someone.

    Or maybe I haven't met the people I really would love to spend enormous amounts of time with?

    We could be friends.
    _s.il thanked this post.

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