[INTJ] confused by an INTJ guy

confused by an INTJ guy

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This is a discussion on confused by an INTJ guy within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; I have been talking/hanging out to an INTJ guy for about 5 months now. We use text about every day. ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality


    confused by an INTJ guy

    I have been talking/hanging out to an INTJ guy for about 5 months now. We use text about every day. When hung out he always paid. We only hung out 4 times due to living a few hours from each other. We are both about to graduate and may not end up in the same place after graduation. I asked him where he saw this going and he responded that he did not know. He said that he is not ready for a relationship. What does this mean? Is he really not ready for a relationship or does he just not like me?



  2. #2

    It seems he isn't really ready for a relationship. You asked him a question and he gave you a straight answer. He probably thinks about this as much as you do, but doesn't want to bring up the topic.

    What else he says to you about the relationship?

  3. #3
    Unknown Personality


    He said that we seemed to have a connection due to having so much in common. Also, he said he hopes we can be friends. We haven't talked since we had this conversation via text and he said he wished he could have told me this in person. So this doesn't mean he doesn't like me...he just isn't ready for a relationship right now?

  4. #4

    It means I am not wanting a relationship with you. This isn't an INTJ thing, it's a person thing. Despite urban legend it really is quite possible for men to just be friends with women. Take it at face value, he likes chatting to you but doesn't want to be sexual with you.

  5. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by mmx View Post
    He said that we seemed to have a connection due to having so much in common. Also, he said he hopes we can be friends. We haven't talked since we had this conversation via text and he said he wished he could have told me this in person. So this doesn't mean he doesn't like me...he just isn't ready for a relationship right now?
    It's not that he doesn't like you, it's more that he thinks maintaining the relationship won't be beneficial for both sides right now. If he told you he wants to keep the friendship if possible, he made it clear that he likes you (uh, at least as a friend). Give it some days, then talk to him again. I don't think he is going to avoid you if you try to contact him as a friend.
    Last edited by Aiwass; 04-13-2015 at 06:15 PM.

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by InSolitude View Post
    It means I am not wanting a relationship with you. This isn't an INTJ thing, it's a person thing. Despite urban legend it really is quite possible for men to just be friends with women.
    The OP is actually a guy.

  7. #7
    ESTJ

    The most important statement to consider is that he is not ready. He may like you romantically or he may not like you romantically but in any case he is not ready. He respects you and values the connection he has with you but a romantic relationship is not on the table.

  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by Aiwass View Post
    The OP is actually a guy.
    Cheers, my blindspot.

    Still stands though. He's not wanting a relationship with you. End of story, don't read more into it than there is.

  9. #9
    INTJ - The Scientists

    If you think the friendship is beneficial, then keep the friendship. I would not recommend staying friends in the hopes that he will be ready at some point. He may just be interested in you as a friend, not ready, or both, but sticking around with this kind of hope contributes nothing good. Either way, accept that he will only be a friend, and if you cannot, amicably move on.

  10. #10
    INTJ - The Scientists

    I am confused...

    Gay people don't pay 50/50 in their dates?
    An INTJ paying 100% of the date? lol


     
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